DEAR ABBY: My friend "Suzy's" husband recently got a pet monkey named "Jocko." He and the monkey play games together. The problem is he has now begun ignoring Suzy in favor of the monkey.
When Suzy wants to have sex and asks him to come to bed, her husband refuses and tells her, "I'd rather spend time with Jocko." That's only the beginning. She told me she and her husband no longer share the same bed. He says, "Jocko needs company," and he sleeps with it on the couch. He also has a special chair for Jocko at the table, etc.
I feel very bad for Suzy, but she doesn't want to break up with him. She thinks it's a passing fad. What should I do? -- BILL IN BRONX, N.Y.
DEAR BILL: This couple has deeper problems than a simian in the household. I speak from personal experience when I say that monkeys do not make good house pets. (My mother had two cinnamon ringtail monkeys for about six months when I was a child. Among other things, they cannot be housebroken.)
When a husband would rather monkey around with his monkey than monkey around with his wife, you know the marriage is in serious trouble. My advice to you is to take a giant step backward, but before you do, recommend to Suzy that she discuss the situation with a marriage counselor. She and her husband need more help than I can offer in a letter.