DEAR ABBY: I was recently placed in an uncomfortable situation. "Adam," a 43-year-old married co-worker, was using myspace.com to contact me four and five times a day on my days off. The messages culminated when he told me he was crazy about me and would like to "kiss and cuddle outside of work." Abby, I am 20 and very happy in my current relationship. I told Adam I would be neither interested nor comfortable doing that with him.

He was going through a rough patch in his life at the time, so I didn't report him to management because it would have gotten him fired, and he and his family couldn't afford for him to lose his job. However, Adam has approached every single young female at the company with a similar proposition at one point or another. It is fairly common knowledge, and no one has spoken up about it.

Adam now talks to me at work only when necessary and has stopped contacting me on my days off, but the whole situation feels weird, and I know in the future another girl will inevitably be put in the same situation I was. Adam has already been disciplined several times for saying inappropriate things and, while I don't want to punish his family for his bad behavior by costing him his job, I also don't want any other girl to be made uncomfortable because of him. Any suggestions? -- HAD IT IN DAVENPORT, IOWA

DEAR HAD IT: Considering "Adam's" history, you should have spoken up at the time he began sexually harassing you. It was not your responsibility to protect his family from the repercussions of his bad behavior. If their financial future is jeopardized, it will be because of Adam, not you or any of the other women he has gone after.

One way to ensure that he cannot harass anyone else in the future would be to gather all of the young women he has done this to, and pay a call on the director of human resources or your boss. It's the surest way to ensure he won't act like a fox at the henhouse the day the next young female employee is hired.

DEAR ABBY: I am 14 and a freshman in high school. I have been best friends with a girl I'll call Tracy ever since third grade.

Two years ago, Tracy's father was killed in a car accident, and it's like she hasn't grown since. My problem is, she treats me differently now. She has said it's because I bring back memories of her dad and it hurts her, but I'm the one being hurt.

Tracy and I have only one class together, but we see each other every day during lunch. She rarely talks to me when we're around my friends, and if she does, it's not always a nice comment. She admitted a few days ago it's because she thinks I am smart and she isn't.

My parents have asked me again and again if I really want to be her friend, and I have answered "yes" every time. But I'm tired of the way she treats our friendship. Is it time for us to grow apart? -- SAD IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR SAD: Let me put it this way. It's time that you accepted that you haven't been "best friends" for some time, and you have ALREADY grown apart. It is sad that your friend lost her father and that seeing you reminds her of her loss. But you can't change either of those things, and you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Because you're not getting those things from Tracy, it is time to move on.

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DEAR ABBY: Is it OK for two brothers (in the range of 40 years old) to sleep in the same bed? My husband says he is very close to his family. I sleep alone in our bed almost every night because my husband falls asleep on the couch a lot watching TV.

He and his brother were watching a ball game together the other night in his brother's room. (Unfortunately, he lives with us almost year-round.) They were on the bed and fell asleep there.

I should mention that their mother is very "touchy-feely" with them and often sits next to them, caressing her sons' inner thighs.

Where I grew up, this is considered inappropriate behavior. What is wrong with this picture? If I mention anything about this, my husband gets very angry, as he is the "controlling" type. -- FEELING ILL IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FEELING ILL: If your intuition is telling you that "something" is wrong, then you should listen and act upon it. What's clear from your letter is that you're unhappy and unsatisfied in your marriage, with good reason.

For a 40-year-old man to spend almost every night sleeping on the couch instead of with his wife is highly unusual, and the reason usually isn't that what's on television is so compelling he can't drag himself into the bedroom. You should consult a licensed family therapist pronto. And if your husband won't go with you, go without him.

DEAR ABBY: Occasionally you publish letters from readers discussing what they are grateful for. I have never seen one like mine. I am a woman in my early 50s, married 25 years, with no children.

I am grateful for excellent mental health. Until eight years ago, I suffered from manic depression. Other than my supportive husband, no one knew it. I held a job and, for the most part, functioned much like everyone else day-to-day. True, I may have lost a job or two because of it. Also true, it was a major factor in our deciding not to have children. I couldn't handle that responsibility when each day was a delicate dance between feeling all right or very sad and anxious.

Because of counseling and anti-depressants, my life is now wonderful. I am writing to urge anyone who thinks he or she might suffer from debilitating depression to seek help. There is nothing to be ashamed of about seeking help for mental illness. People wouldn't feel that way about consulting a doctor for a broken leg or diabetes. Depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance.

I have been blessed with a kind, supportive spouse and a productive life. I wake up each morning grateful to be alive. Life is too short, so I hope your readers will take this letter to heart. -- GRATEFUL IN ILLINOIS

DEAR GRATEFUL: Sometimes the most important words in the English language can be among the most difficult to say. They are, "I need help." And yet, admitting it and reaching out are crucial to healing.

Every time I advise people to discuss emotional problems with their doctor, I am sure to hear from readers telling me they are without insurance or can't afford it. Counseling is available on a sliding fee scale through your county's mental health services, which are listed in the phone directory.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Earline," seems not to really care about family that much. She does drugs and sells them.

My family and I just bailed her out of jail. I took my entire paycheck, my brother lent his entire paycheck, and our mom gave the last couple of hundred bucks she had to her name. Earline promised to pay us all back when she got home. (She was arrested out of state.)

We spent well over $1,000 getting her out, and she has been back for two weeks and hasn't repaid any of us. I have an 8-month-old baby to support.

This isn't the first time -- this has been going on for years, and I mean years. What should I say to Earline to get our money back, and so she'll stop doing this? She has two kids who live with my parents. -- NEEDS THE MONEY IN CHILLICOTHE, OHIO

DEAR NEEDS THE MONEY: Your sister may be so drug-addicted -- and addled -- that she can't see beyond her own needs. Surely, if this has been "going on for years," your family is by now aware that the chances that she will repay the money are practically nil. My advice is to write it off, and the next time Earline finds herself in a jam –- or in the slammer –- let her bail herself out. Having to pay the consequences is the only way she'll learn, and possibly get help.

DEAR ABBY: I have a sister-in-law who constantly refers to my brother as "my husband" instead of by his name. I find it so irritating. I feel the term "my husband" should be relegated to the doorman or the cleaners around the corner, as in: "My husband will pick this up this afternoon." It shuts me out and sounds pompous. Am I wrong? -- "GARTH'S" SISTER IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR SISTER: Are you wrong? Is she wrong? It seems to me that more is going on here than you being put off by the way your sister-in-law refers to your brother. Maybe she is insecure, and that's why she feels the need to "remind" you that your brother is her husband, or maybe she has trouble remembering names.

But if you let this get under your skin, how will you handle it when a serious disagreement arises -- as it often does in families? My advice is to mellow out and find your sense of humor.

DEAR ABBY: I am married to a wonderful woman, but something has been bothering me since we have been together. I am not as honest as I should be in our relationship.

We have had money problems pretty much since our marriage began. I have a spending problem, and I lie to her about where the money goes. I have been doing better, but I still want to spend money we do not have.

I do not spend money on drugs, prostitutes or clothes, but rather on plastic models and other hobby-related items. How do I stop spending and lying to my wife about it? -- SICK OF THE LYING IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR SICK: You start acting like a man instead of a child with his hand in the cookie jar. You recognize that marriage is a partnership and you have been, in a sense, stealing from your partner. Then you and she agree on a budget you can responsibly allocate to your hobby, and live within your means.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)