DEAR ABBY: I was recently married. I have a daughter, "Courtney," from a previous relationship. Things were great before the wedding. We even included Courtney in the planning. Afterward, however, things turned sour.
Courtney kept causing problems with my husband, and they both looked to me to work it out. I felt like I was being torn in two. No matter what I said to either of them, or if I just left the room to force them to work it out without me, things only got worse.
I left my husband over this. I was stressed out. Everyone was telling me I should not let my daughter dictate what was going on in my life. But I'm not going to force my child to live in a home where she does not feel love and does not want to be. Did I make the right decision? I still love my husband, but I must look out for what is best for my daughter. -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN BLUE SPRINGS, MO.
DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Of course you have to look out for what is best for your child. Although you may have done the right thing in leaving, however, I think you left too soon.
Courtney had never had to share her mother's love and attention with anyone before. She was fighting for total possession of her parent, which wasn't healthy for either of you. Before leaving your husband, it would have been better to try family counseling to determine if a licensed professional could improve the level of communication, tolerance and understanding between the "combatants."