DEAR ABBY: My niece is stationed with the Air Force and she never writes to me. My mom hears from her at least once a week, and when I ask about "Nicole," she says, "Oh, she doesn't say much."
Well, the other day, I happened to talk to my niece's stepdad, and he told me that Nicole got married two months ago to some guy who's a jerk, and that he has been deployed to Iraq. My mother knew all about it and never told me! That really ticks me off.
Mom has always been that way -- sometimes out and out lying about things. She's also the stingiest person I know. I think this is the last straw. Do you think I should stop speaking to her?
We were never close. She has always preferred my sister and brother over me and made it quite clear that she did. I'm a middle-aged woman, but I still smart when I think of the way she has treated me. Don't suggest therapy, because I am in therapy. -- FURIOUS IN KANSAS CITY, MO.
DEAR FURIOUS: Try to calm down. If you were not notified about the wedding, it may not have been an occasion that your niece and her parents were "celebrating." It may also not last -- which is why your mother may have wanted to keep it quiet.
You are in therapy; your anger at your mother is something that you should be discussing with your therapist. And because your mother has always treated you as someone "less than" your siblings, perhaps it would be better for you both if you took a break from her for a while -- at least until you and your therapist figure out what it is you really need to say to her.