DEAR ABBY: I am 21 and have been going out with an older man (17 years older) I'll call "Sherman" for about a year. He and I are having a baby together in three months.
I don't know if I want to be with Sherman anymore. He keeps telling me that if I want to be with someone more my age -- which I do -- I should break off before things get worse. He says he'd rather be heartbroken now than have me tell him later that I have found someone else.
My friends tell me that if I don't want to be with Sherman, I should just tell him and go on my way. What do you think I should do? Should I try to work things out with him, or tell him that it's over and move on with my life? -- CONFUSED IN MAINE
DEAR CONFUSED: Your friends' advice would be good -- if you weren't expecting a baby with Sherman. However, because there is a child involved who will need support, and preferably the love and care of both parents, you must consider what is best for your baby. Because nowhere in your letter did you indicate that Sherman has said he wants to marry you or provide for his child's support, your next move should be to talk to an attorney about a legal arrangement for the benefit of the baby.