DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Jamie," and I have been together almost four years. Everything was fine until we hit a major roadblock.
Advertisement
I was raised to love animals. Jamie's parents are the polar opposite. I have always kept my cool when I heard stories about his father abusing animals. I asked Jamie to talk to his parents and let them know how I feel. He never did.
Just before Christmas we were over there for a visit, and his mother told a horrible story about his dad killing a pet rabbit. I couldn't control myself any longer; I burst into tears and yelled, "Your father is a horrible man!"
We left that night, and I told Jamie I could never go back. He needed to make a choice: a wife who could be a part of his family -- or me. He chose me -- at least that's what I thought.
Jamie recently asked me if I had calmed down and could put this in the past. I don't think I can. How can we have a life together if I don't want to be a part of his family? -- APPALLED IN LIVONIA, MICH.
DEAR APPALLED: The answer is you can't, because you and Jamie have very different values. His father's behavior is sadistic, and his mother appears to feel that killing a pet is normal. Your fiance might like to think that all this can be smoothed over, but what happened at Christmas was your glimpse at the future. My advice is to end it now, before you wind up joining a clan whose sensitivities and values are so different from your own.