DEAR ABBY: I recently had to tell another patient, this time a husband and father, that the irregular-shaped mole on his shoulder was melanoma, the most serious form of skin cancer. Unfortunately, dermatologists see cases like this every day.

Despite outward appearances of being healthy, this man was a prime candidate for skin cancer. Unlike many of my patients, he had spent the better part of his youth swimming and playing baseball in the sun with his skin unprotected.

Regardless of age or skin type, everyone is at risk for developing skin cancer. Last year alone, there were 105,750 new cases of melanoma diagnosed in the United States. To avoid becoming part of that statistic, your readers need to be "sun smart" when they have fun in the sun. They need to do such things as generously apply sunscreen, wear protective clothing, seek shade, get vitamin D safely -- through a healthy diet or dietary supplement -- and AVOID TANNING BEDS.

As a dermatologist, I can attest that practicing sun safety and getting screened for skin cancer are the best ways to ensure lifelong healthy skin. Please help me spread the word, Abby. -- STEPHEN P. STONE, M.D., PRESIDENT, AMERICAN ACADEMY OF DERMATOLOGY

DEAR DR. STONE: I'm pleased to help, and thank you for your compassion and desire to protect my readers.

Folks, in addition to heeding Dr. Stone's suggestions, you can also take advantage of the American Academy of Dermatology's free skin cancer screening programs. Throughout the year, dermatologists provide free screenings to help educate the public about the importance of early detection of skin cancer. (The good news is, most skin cancers average a 95 percent cure rate if they are caught early.) To locate free screenings in your area, log onto � HYPERLINK "http://www.aad.org" ��www.aad.org� or call toll-free: (888) 462-3376.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old female and have recently realized that I am gay. I came out to my parents about a year ago, and they were loving and accepting. It wasn't a problem.

My problem is I am not ready to tell any of my close friends. I am waiting until college to come out. However, because I haven't come out, I still get a lot of male attention. I'm worried that constantly rejecting all guys will give my secret away. Thus, I am in a relationship with a boyfriend I do not love.

I know it's not fair to lie to him and pretend that I love him. I don't want to break his heart. I have already ended past relationships for "no reason" and have had to think up reasons to give to my friends. (Even my best friends have no idea, and I feel guilty about it.) I don't think I can lie one more time about its being the boy's fault, because each guy I have dated has been perfectly sweet.

My relationship with my current boyfriend is becoming quite serious, and though I like him as a friend, I'm not ready for the sex that we're beginning to talk about. I want out, but I'm not ready to COME out.

Please help me. I have never had a more confusing dilemma. -- IN THE CLOSET IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR IN THE CLOSET: You are under no obligation to disclose your sexual orientation until you are ready. However, it's time to stop lying to the young man you are dating. All you need to say is that you have decided not to have a serious relationship until you are in college. It is the truth, and you do not have to elaborate.

TO MY CHRISTIAN READERS: Happy Easter, everyone!

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 22-year-old mother of three, a 2-, 3- and 4-year-old. I am no longer with their father. He never wanted to spend time with us.

It's not easy to find someone who will take on all this responsibility, especially someone in his 20s. I did meet this wonderful man in June 2004. His name is "Alex," and he's the best thing that ever happened to us. He treats us like his own family. I truly love him.

Well, "too good to be true" fits my situation perfectly. A couple of months ago, I found out Alex was stealing money from me. First, it was with my ATM card. I ended up cutting it up and throwing it away. After that, I started making Alex deposit his paychecks into my account. Then I found out he had forged two of my checks and cashed them. I know some of the money in the bank was his, but he never asked me or told me. Do you think what he did was OK because some of the money was his? Alex does. And what should I do about our relationship? -- CONFUSED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR CONFUSED: I know it's hard to find a man, but the "wonderful" man you met in 2004 is a thief and a forger. For your own sake and that of your children, you should give him whatever money you owe him and end this relationship now. Unless you do, he will continue to steal from you -- and heaven only knows what else.

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Diane," has always dated losers. The relationships have always ended badly. Stalkers, stuffed shirts, chauvinists -- you name it.

A few months ago, she started dating a man I'll call "Tim." I won't get into all of his nerve-wracking traits, although one of them seriously upsets me. The other day, Diane finally tried to dump him. Tim said OK, but called soon after saying he was going to kill himself by asphyxiating himself in his car, then he turned on the ignition. She heard his breathing get heavy and the phone went dead. She called the police, who found Tim several hours later in good physical health. He is in a "home" for now, but Diane still calls him. She says she wants to stay with him so he won't kill himself.

No one else in my family knows about this. She made me promise not to say anything. I desperately want to. But if I do, my sister will never trust me again. Please help me. I'm only 19, and I cry every night because I'm so scared for her. Tim gets out in a few days. I don't want him at our house. Talking hasn't helped at all. She refuses to listen to me. -- WORRIED SICK IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR WORRIED SICK: Some promises are made to be broken, and this is one of them. Because Tim has demonstrated that he is mentally unstable, your parents should be told immediately. You did not mention how old your sister is, but if she's living at home, your parents have a right to determine who is welcome and who is not.

DEAR ABBY: I'm being married in six months and am planning a small wedding with family and close friends only. What is your advice on the best way to respond when well-meaning acquaintances say things like, "I hope I'm invited!" When this happened, I was so surprised I just smiled and didn't respond. -- BRIDE-TO-BE

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: Because someone says, "I hope I'm invited," does not mean you are on the hook to do so. Just smile and reply, "I'd love to invite you, but it's going to be a very small family affair."

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I recently made a batch of pancakes for my healthy 14-year-old son, using a mix that was in our pantry. He said that they tasted "funny," but ate them anyway. About 10 minutes later, he began having difficulty breathing and his lips began turning purple. I gave him his allergy pill, had him sit on the sofa and told him to relax. He was wheezing while inhaling and exhaling.

My husband, a volunteer firefighter and EMT, heated up some water, and we had my son lean over the water so the steam could clear his chest and sinuses. Soon, his breathing became more regular and his lips returned to a more normal color.

We checked the date on the box of pancake mix and, to my dismay, found it was very outdated. As a reference librarian at an academic institution, I have the ability to search through many research databases. I did just that, and found an article the next day that mentioned a 19-year-old male DYING after eating pancakes made with outdated mix. Apparently, the mold that forms in old pancake mix can be toxic!

When we told our friends about my son's close call, we were surprised at the number of people who mentioned that they should check their own pancake mix since they don't use it often, or they had purchased it some time ago. With so many people shopping at warehouse-type stores and buying large sizes of pancake mix, I hope your readers will take the time to check the expiration date on their boxes. -- SUE IN WYANTSKILL, N.Y.

DEAR SUE: Thank you for the warning. I certainly was not aware that pancake mix could turn moldy and cause an allergic reaction in someone with an allergy to mold -- but it's logical. I wonder if the same holds true for cake mix, brownie mix and cookie mix. If so, then a warning should be placed on the box for people like me.

We hear so often about discarding prescription and over-the-counter medications after their expiration dates, but I don't recall warnings about packaged items in the pantry. Heads up, folks!

DEAR ABBY: My mother has been a prescription drug addict for about 20 years. The problem I'm having is my 2-year-old son loves his "memaw" and wants to go over to her house on a regular basis.

When Mother is off the pills, she's a great parent and a fantastic and loving grandmother. When she's on the pills, she becomes a different person, and I don't want to subject my son to the things I witnessed as a child. She becomes very abusive when she's not sober. She also does things like slur her words and pass out.

Rehab doesn't work for her. She has been at least 20 times.

My son does not understand her actions. He thinks I am being mean when I tell him we can't go over there.

I have threatened my mother that she won't see her grandson if this behavior continues. She doesn't seem to care. In recent months she has been on methadone, trying to kick the habit, but has substituted methadone for the pills. Have you any suggestions? -- "MEAN MOMMY" IN N. CAROLINA

DEAR "MEAN MOMMY": Unless your mother is buying her methadone on the illicit market, she is on a program and under supervision -- which is a good thing. If you see evidence that she is a danger to your child, then it is your duty to cut off the contact. However, my addiction experts advise that you do not "threaten" unless you are prepared to follow through. (And you may need counseling yourself in order to stick by your word.)

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)