DEAR ABBY: My daughter "Lulu" moved in with a man I'll call Al a year and a half ago, telling us this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with. So my husband and I welcomed him to the family.
They now have a baby, and still there has been no wedding. Al came to us eight months ago to ask our permission to ask Lulu to marry him. We consented. He appears to have had convenient memory loss about asking and -- without going into details -- has proven himself to be extremely self-centered, controlling, and a negative influence on what was once our happy, outgoing daughter.
We now realize that Al is someone we don't care to have in our family, and we'd like to know how (if it's possible) to rescind our blessing on their marriage. -- CHANGED OUR MINDS DOWN SOUTH
DEAR CHANGED OUR MINDS: If I were you, I wouldn't raise the subject of marriage with Al at all. Your daughter's lover appears to be in no hurry to make any trips to the altar. Do, however, "mention" to your daughter that you had hoped she'd find a husband who would cherish her and make her happier than Al seems to have. Be sure to let her know that if she changes her mind about him, you'll welcome her back home with open arms. That way, she'll know she still has a choice.