DEAR ABBY: In America today, there are 20.8 million people living with diabetes. Because there are often no symptoms, nearly one-third of them -- 6.2 million of those people -- don't even know they have diabetes and won't find out until one of its devastating complications develops. An additional 41 million people are at risk for developing type 2 diabetes.

The good news is that diabetes and its complications can be prevented or delayed, but awareness is vital.

Left untreated, the complications of diabetes include heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, blindness and amputation. But they are not inevitable. Early diagnosis and treatment are crucial to preventing or delaying these complications.

Please help us to spread the word to the millions of Americans who are living with this disease and don't know it, or who are at risk. Thanks for sharing this information with your readers, Abby. It can help to improve the lives of millions of Americans who might already have diabetes and not know it, and prevent the disease in millions more. -- ROBERT A. RIZZA, M.D., AMERICAN DIABETES ASSOCIATION

DEAR DR. RIZZA: I'm pleased to pass the word along. I had a conversation recently with David Boyer, M.D., a respected retinal specialist here in Los Angeles, in which he confided that one of the most difficult things he has to do in his practice is to inform a patient that his or her eyesight cannot be restored, and that the cause was previously undiagnosed diabetes.

Today, March 28, is the American Diabetes Association's 18th Annual Diabetes Alert Day. Readers, go to � HYPERLINK "http://www.diabetes.org/risk-test" ��www.diabetes.org/risk-test� to take the ADA's online assessment, or call toll-free (800) 342-2383 for more information. Do it for yourselves, for your family and for me.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a junior in high school, starting to seriously consider and contrast colleges. I live in a Chicago suburb and I love city life.

The University of Illinois at Chicago seems like a reasonable option for me. However, I have fallen in love with the University of Tampa in Florida.

There are so many factors to consider that I feel like crying when thinking about choosing between these schools. I enjoy trying new things, and I think I'd like Tampa. My family doesn't have a lot of money, so visits home would be limited to Christmas and possibly spring break. At UIC I would only have a 20-minute train ride to get home. I could do that every day if I wanted to.

My mom worries that I'll get homesick, and so do I. Is it better to stay with the comfortable, or try to expand my horizons -- even if there's a possibility I might hate it? Please give me your opinion. -- NICKY IN ITASCA, ILL.

DEAR NICKY: If your only reason for staying home is the fear that you "might" be homesick, then I think you should gather up your courage and leap from the nest. That's how fledglings learn to fly. It takes courage to leave the familiar and strike out on your own, but it's a great part of growing up.

However, there may be more things to take into consideration than you mentioned in your letter. Do you have the grades to get into both of these schools? And can the finances be managed? These should also be factors in your decision.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: A new co-worker seemed to be a nice person and potential friend when she was hired. However, after a few months, she began making comments to me or about me in front of others. Sometimes they are good-natured, but more often they are insulting -- although presented as a "joke." I feel this is inappropriate, especially in the workplace.

I have heard that this is a type of bullying where, if the victim objects, then the perpetrator belittles him or her as being "oversensitive," thus adding salt to the wound. I have noticed that people who play this little mind game on others can dish it out but can't take it when someone retaliates. I've seen this happen in families where one sibling is scapegoated and picked on.

I don't want to waste energy playing games, but I don't want to be a victim, either, so I have decided to ignore the comments and/or interrupt her by changing the subject or making an excuse to leave the room. Have you any other suggestions? -- NOT A VICTIM

DEAR NOT A VICTIM: When someone is ridiculed in the workplace, it usually isn't intended to be a joke, nor is it funny. It is intended to make the person appear less effective. I do have another suggestion. Report it to your supervisor or office manager, and explain she is making you uncomfortable. If her "witticisms" fall under a protected category (gender, religion, race, sexual orientation), she could be creating a hostile work environment and management needs to be made aware of it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for two years and am now dating a lady I'll call Heidi. I have tickets to a rock concert in Las Vegas. I work and earn a modest income. Heidi works and also makes a modest income. Heidi thinks I should pay for her airline ticket or not go to the concert.

I want to go, and I want her blessing, but I can't afford her airfare. Is she being jealous and controlling? Are there any single women out there who would like to go and pay for their own airline ticket? Help! -- STUCK IN VIRGINIA

DEAR STUCK: The answers to your questions are yes and yes. However, if another woman accompanies you to that concert, you will no longer have to concern yourself with whether Heidi is jealous or controlling -- because I predict she will be history.

DEAR ABBY: I am the youngest of four children. My eldest brother died when he was an infant. But in our family it is like he never existed. My father always describes us as his three children, but my mother will talk about him a little.

Is it something I can mention when asked, "Do you have any siblings?" Can I mention my invisible brother? Should I say I am the youngest of four and leave it at that, or should I go with what my parents have always said -- the youngest of three? -- UNSURE IN BREMERTON, WASH.

DEAR UNSURE: It would be less confusing if you were to reply the way your parents do -- that you are the youngest of three children. When you get to know people better, to the point that you get to know their family history, you can then discuss the tragedy your parents faced when they lost their first child.

P.S. I am guessing that your parents do not discuss their firstborn because the subject is still painful.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My mother is married to a pervert I'll call "Harry." He has destroyed our family. Harry has made sexual comments to my sister and me about our bodies until we finally moved out of our mother's home when we reached 18. His behavior stopped for a long time, until my daughter, "Allie," began to develop. After she turned 11, the sexual comments started again. Harry also began calling her names, and saying that if she were his daughter he would slap her mouth.

It has reached the point that we no longer visit Mother nor do we attend family functions. At the last one we attended, Harry kept staring at Allie and following her around. It made her sick to her stomach, so we went home.

My grandmother died last December. She was very ill the last six months, but we would see her only when she was in the hospital because Mother and Harry live in the house next door to hers, and he kept showing up when I was there.

Now my grandfather is all alone. I'd like for my children and me to be able to visit, but again -- Harry is always there. I have tried talking to my mother, but it's one excuse after another. I had hoped she would have a relationship with her grandchildren, but we can't invite her to our home for a picnic or a party because she won't come without him. Please help. -- HEARTSICK IN BUFFALO

DEAR HEARTSICK: If your grandfather isn't already aware of the problem with Harry, he should be told. You do not have to visit him at his house; you can pick him up and take him out for a meal or take him to your home. If you haven't already resigned yourself to the fact that your mother isn't going to have a relationship with your children, please rethink the wisdom of her having one. You have described a woman who tolerated the sexual harassment of her two daughters and grandchild. She made her choice long ago, and you are all better off keeping your distance from her and her husband.

DEAR ABBY: I'm ready to tear my hair out. My boyfriend of two years refuses to divorce his wife. He tells everyone he wants to marry me. He says he doesn't love her, he just "doesn't have time" to go and get the divorce.

She was in a mental hospital for a while for killing her boyfriend. Now they talk a lot, and he says he feels sorry for her. I want him to get the divorce so he can marry me.

Am I pushing too hard on this, because I told him if he isn't divorced by July 4, I am leaving. -- CONFUSED IN INDIANA

DEAR CONFUSED: I don't think you're pushing too hard, and I also don't think he is being completely honest with you. Your timing seems logical to me. What better time to declare your independence than Independence Day?

DEAR ABBY: Twice now, I have inquired about the beautiful accents of strangers. One was a cashier and the other was a bank employee. Both seemed embarrassed and unwilling to reveal their country of origin.

Was this attempt to show personal interest actually a tactless invasion? Is there a rule of etiquette on this subject? I never meant to put anyone on the spot. -- SEAN IN AFTON, VA.

DEAR SEAN: Some people are sensitive about revealing their background because of the circumstances that brought them to this country -- war, poverty, torture, loss of family members. Although your question was well meant, it is better to let time pass, let them get to know you, and get to know them before venturing into such personal territory. If they want you to have the information, they will volunteer it. It should not be necessary to ask.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)