DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, you helped me with an unhappy relationship I was in. I took your advice, and it made a big improvement in my life. I am now engaged to a wonderful woman, and we're very happy. I never thought I would have to write you again.

Abby, I am seeing some behavior in my 15-year-old nephew that has me worried. He's a "high achiever" and, basically, a pretty good kid. Maybe he's under stress from school or sports, but he has been having some shocking, angry outbursts. Whether against his parents, his brother or his girlfriend, he will fly into a rage. He shouts, pounds his fists on the table, slams doors (breaking a glass pane) and storms out of the house. I saw him shove his brother during a recent argument, and I have heard him threaten to put his fist through a wall. Luckily, he hasn't followed through.

He doesn't have a history of causing trouble, and these angry outbursts don't happen all the time. I know you have a booklet about controlling anger. Do you think it might help him, and how can I order one? -- WORRIED UNCLE, ANNAPOLIS, MD.

DEAR WORRIED UNCLE: We all have moments when we react without thinking. Your nephew is young, and his problem could be caused by a number of things -- including immaturity, lack of self-control and raging hormones. If you have a good level of communication with him, the first thing you should do is have a talk with him and ask what's really going on.

If he is not having emotional or substance abuse problems, my anger booklet might be helpful to him. It contains constructive information about anger and suggestions for defusing it in healthy ways. It can be ordered by sending a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been house-sitting -- and paying rent -- for a retired couple for the last six months. They are traveling in an RV, so I moved into the spare room, collect their mail and keep their house in order.

They come back to town every few weeks so one or both of them stays a night at the home. This was OK until last night.

The husband wasn't supposed to be at the house. I was expecting him tonight because he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. When I came home and saw him there, I was a little surprised. I was tired from a hard day at work, so I went to bed early. This morning, I awoke at 6:15 to my door opening. The husband came into my room, said he was cold, and jumped into my bed. He was naked! I told him he was a freak, jumped out of bed, rushed into my bathroom, locked the door and got ready to leave for work. I didn't see him before I left.

Should I call the wife and tell her what happened? I am staying at a friend's tonight because I don't want to run into him again. I no longer feel safe with him there. Should I find a new place to live? I'm 31 and he is in his 60s. Yuck! -- GROSSED OUT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR GROSSED OUT: The answers to both of your questions is yes -- and the sooner the better.

DEAR ABBY: I couldn't believe your response to the widow who wanted to participate in the throwing of the wedding bouquet. It is meant for single women only, not widows or women who've run through a legion of husbands. For goodness' sake, is it too much to ask that only TRULY single women participate in this ritual? It amazes me that you sided with the writer. The daughter-in-law who objected was right on the money. The woman should have respected that, sat down and tried to remember that the wedding was not about her. -- LAURIE F., ODESSA, FLA.

DEAR LAURIE F.: That's exactly what the wounded widow did. She retreated to her table, and the wedding was no longer a happy celebration for her. I felt, and still do, that being allowed to join the throng to participate would have impinged on no one, and the daughter-in-law was out of line. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Good for you regarding the Texas widow! At my daughter's wedding reception, my 80-plus-year-old widowed mother caught the bouquet and immediately shoved it into the hands of a 60-year-old widow. I wish you could see the video. What I think is wrong is letting anyone under 18 out there. -- ALL FOR THE TEXAS WIDOW

DEAR ABBY: At my son's wedding, my 85-year-old widowed mother, who was walking with a cane at the time, got up and caught the bouquet. The man who caught the garter put it on my mom like she was a 25-year-old woman, and Mom blushed like a schoolgirl. We were all delighted for her. She died at the age of 92, and this is one of my fondest memories of my son's wedding.

In our golden years, we deserve to enjoy life as much as any young person. Please tell that Texas widow not to let anyone stop her from doing things that will give her pleasure. -- M.J. IN CHATTANOOGA

DEAR ABBY: A dear friend of my mother's attended our wedding. She was 70 at the time, and brought her 80-year-old gentleman friend to the celebration. (Both had been widowed.) Whether it was quietly planned, I don't know, but she caught the bouquet, and he caught the garter. They were married within a year.

Whenever I see a video of other receptions, I remember that gracious and loving couple -- and my guests, who stood quietly and made only "token" motions toward the items. -- GINA IN FT. COLLINS, COLO.

DEAR ABBY: That daughter-in-law needs a sense of humor and to ease up a bit. Weddings are about celebrating family, love and happiness. She showed none of these when she chastized her mother-in-law. She owes the bride and her mother-in-law an apology. -- CELEBRATING BRIDE, GREAT FALLS, MONT.

DEAR ABBY: A woman in her 60s caught the bouquet at my wedding. The younger women didn't have a chance. Actually, TWO 60-year-old women fought over it. It's one of the most memorable memories from our reception. We have a great picture of the best man putting the garter on her. She was wearing knee-highs and granny glasses. -- CELESTE IN ENFIELD, CONN.

DEAR ABBY: That daughter-in-law was certainly a pill. The family should feel lucky to have a grandmother who is able to participate physically. My dad was in a wheelchair and didn't have that privilege. I lost him two years ago, and I would give anything to have him here to hold his hand and tell him how much I love him. That daughter-in-law should reorganize her priorities, thank her lucky stars, and keep her mouth shut. You go, Grandma! Thanks for letting me vent, Abby. -- PATRICIA IN PUEBLO, COLO.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband is a commander in the Air Force Reserve, recently deployed overseas. In his absence, I have been trying to establish a support group for the spouses of the deployed reservists in his unit.

A number of questions have come up among the spouses regarding the filing of income taxes for 2005. I am wondering if you know of any resources available for military service and family members, especially reservists. Could you please help me find accurate information and/or sources of assistance in this area? Thanks! -- KATHERINE L. JOHNSON

DEAR KATHERINE: Every year, when tax season rolls around, there are always lots of questions. Some of them come in January, but most arise just before April 15. The good news is, help is now available for military service and family members at no cost.

This year, the Department of Defense is providing free access to the popular TurboTax filing program to all active duty guard and reserves (regardless of their activation status) and their family members via the Web site www.militaryonesource.com. This free program serves as an online "tax mentor" and helps in the preparation and filing of both federal and state taxes. Military OneSource can also refer you to certified financial counselors, tax experts and public accountants who can answer questions, also at no charge, by calling toll-free: (800) 342-9647. (To access the numbers for overseas, Spanish language and hearing-impaired tax filers, log onto www.militaryonesource.com.)

Katherine, I'd like to personally thank you for establishing a support group for the spouses in your husband's unit because I am sure that at least some of them may feel isolated from one another while their loved ones are away. If you haven't already considered it, you might want to check with your nearest military installation family readiness group, state coordinator or family program director. Military OneSource's 24/7 readiness counselors can also connect you to whatever information or support services you need. Please convey my appreciation to your unit and the members of your new spouse group. I salute you.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter has six beautiful children. Lately, my grandkids have been repeating conversations that their mother has had with their father. Some of the things they say are hurtful. They are young -- the oldest are 8 and 7 -- too young for me to tell them that what they are saying is unacceptable.

Example: The oldest says, "Your house is so small, you have no room for visitors." We do have a small house, but people are always welcome, and our dearest friends and family members know it. Once, the younger one said to me, "Dad says you laugh and talk too loud." This hurt me, and I can't help but take it personally. Should I say something to my daughter and son-in-law? And if so, what do I say without embarrassing them? Thanks. -- SMARTING IN BLUE SPRINGS, MO.

DEAR SMARTING: Excuse me, but I must disagree with you about something. At ages 8 and 7, your grandchildren are plenty old enough to be told when they say something rude and hurtful. Please don't wait any longer.

And as to what to say to your daughter and son-in-law -- start out this way: "Little pitchers have big ears, and not only that, they leak." You can wing it from there. Shame on them.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)