DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, you wrote that only practicing Catholics may receive Communion in a Catholic service. That is not entirely correct, Abby.

Canon law allows members of the Orthodox churches, the Assyrian Church of the East and the Polish National Catholic Church to receive Communion during a Catholic service if they choose to take it. -- CATHOLIC READER IN BOSTON

DEAR READER: Thank you for pointing it out. I suppose it's time to drag out the old wet noodle, because mail poured in from readers pointing out that Communion is a sacrament practiced by many Christian denominations, not just Catholics.

The person whose letter I was answering had written that she was a non-Catholic who, at her Catholic grandfather's funeral in a Catholic church, had been urged by a family friend to approach the altar and take Communion. It was my understanding that only someone who has been to confession -- and is in a "state of grace" -- may partake of Communion in a Catholic church without its being sacrilegious. However, I did not communicate my thought clearly. Mea culpa!

When visiting a house of worship, whether it is Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Bahai, etc., if you want to be absolutely "correct" in your deportment, the wise thing to do is check beforehand with the clergyperson. For questions regarding the rites and sacraments of the Catholic Church, consult the chancery of the local Catholic diocese or archdiocese and someone can provide the correct information.

DEAR ABBY: A couple of months ago, I got a call from an ex-boyfriend's attorney informing me that he had passed away. He said that I'd been left something in "Luke's" will, and told me the date, time and place of the reading. A close friend and I attended.

I was flabbergasted to learn that Luke had left me a ring that had been in his family for years. At the reading, I also found out that he had married and had two sons and a daughter.

My problem: Luke and I dated back when I was 18 and very immature. (I am now 32.) I knew at the time that Luke was head over heels about me, but I was not at all serious about him -- and I let him know it from the beginning. Our relationship ended badly.

I don't believe I deserve this ring. I talked it over with a couple of friends. One says I should keep it because Luke wanted me to have it. Another thinks it would be a good idea to give it to his wife. But she was extremely offended that he left me the ring in the first place. What do you think about this, Abby? And if I do decide to give her the ring, what is the most considerate way to do it? -- UNDESERVING IN ARKANSAS

DEAR UNDESERVING: It would be interesting to know what was going on in your ex-boyfriend's mind when he decided that the ring should go to you. It appears that you always had a piece of his heart that he was never able to reclaim.

Because the item inspires guilt in you instead of pleasure, it might be better if it remains in Luke's family. Feeling as she does about the situation, his wife may not want the ring for herself. However, it would be gracious to offer it back, explaining that because it's a family heirloom, his daughter might like to have it when she's grown.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: As a special education teacher, I have a request for parents of special education students. When you enroll your child at a new school, please inform the school that your child is a special education student.

Many parents follow the urging of their children and don't notify the new school, and this does a great disservice to their children. Schools face consequences for not identifying and servicing special education students correctly. If you and your child are adamant that he or she not be given the extra services for special education students, inform the school and provide documentation that you don't want these services for your child. Please do not leave your children to suffer the frustration of an incorrect educational placement. The schools will work with you and your child to find the best educational option for your child. -- SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHER, OKLAHOMA CITY

DEAR TEACHER: I can understand the reluctance of parents not wanting their children to be "labeled." I also understand that children can be cruel, and unwilling to accept children they perceive as "different."

However, the truth remains that not all children are able to learn in the same way. Some children need specialized help because of visual or auditory challenges in order to grasp and absorb their lessons. If they do not get it, they fall further and further behind, become the butt of ridicule among their classmates, become depressed and disruptive, and suffer from low self-esteem from which they may never recover.

I hope that parents of learning-disabled children will take your message to heart, and that your letter will convince them to do what is right for their children -- which, sadly, is often not the "easiest" thing to do.

DEAR ABBY: I am 21, and my sister "Callie" is 23. I'm having a problem with her boyfriend, "Jared." When he comes to our house, he constantly belittles me. He calls me names and makes degrading comments about my intelligence, my weight, and just about anything else you can think of.

Callie is present when Jared makes the majority of the comments, but says nothing. I have told him in no uncertain terms that I don't appreciate the way he speaks to me, and it has reached the point that I don't want to be in the same room with them.

I feel Callie should be the one to tell him he's out of line, but she refuses. She says I'm being "too sensitive," and I should accept Jared because he's a part of her life.

I don't feel I should have to force myself to be polite to someone who obviously has no consideration for my feelings. My family is planning a trip in a few weeks, and I know Callie will want to bring Jared. I don't want to go if he's going to be there, but I don't want to look like the bad guy. What's the best way to tell my family I won't be able to attend the outing this year? -- HURT IN SACRAMENTO, CALIF.

DEAR HURT: You should be entitled to be treated with respect while you're under your own roof. Your sister's boyfriend is a verbal abuser and a bully, and her self-esteem must be very low if she allows him to pick on you without protest.

Rather than telling your folks that you don't want to go on vacation if Jared is there, enlighten them about how he treats you and how it makes you feel. (He may be trying to make you so uncomfortable that you give him lots of alone time with your sister.) It goes without saying that if Jared can't act like a gentleman when he's at your house, he should not accompany your family on vacation.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday, while I was moving my husband's treasured antique automobile, I got into a fender-bender. He is so upset he won't talk to me. He says he wants a divorce and I should move out of the house.

When I asked him why, he said, "You ruin everything. You make my life miserable, and I don't enjoy anything because of you."

He never said anything like this before, and I am devastated. When I try to apologize, he says, "I don't want to talk about it, just get out." Help me, please. -- DEVASTATED IN LITTLE ROCK

DEAR DEVASTATED: I hope that by the time this appears in print, your husband will have regained his sense of priorities and is acting like an adult again. I don't blame him for being upset that his favorite toy was damaged. However, he should be thanking his lucky stars that YOU weren't injured. It's far easier to replace a fender and a paint job than replace a life partner, which is what you are supposed to be.

Under no circumstances should you move out. If he wants to end the marriage, let HIM move. And the minute he is out the door, call a lawyer. There's an old saying, "He who moves first, loses." The lawyer will explain it to you.

DEAR ABBY: My partner, "Tim," and I have been together almost two years. He's an accountant -- a buttoned-down type of person who always has to make sure the I's are dotted and the T's are crossed, if you know what I mean. I, on the other hand, am an artist who prefers to live my life in broad brush strokes. My problem is that Tim cannot stop nit-picking and second-guessing everything I do. I love him, but it is really getting to me.

Is there a solution to this? I have reached the point that the next time he does it, I'm afraid we're going to come to blows. -- MR. "J" IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR MR. "J": Your "buttoned-down" partner behaves the way he does because he needs to feel he's in control. The nit-picking and second-guessing give him the upper hand, especially if it makes you redo whatever it was he criticized. It's an obnoxious trait, and I'm sure it is difficult to live with.

Before you "come to blows," however, the answer is for the two of you to get couples counseling, and the place to start is the nearest gay and lesbian center. Do it now -- before you say or do something you'll regret.

DEAR ABBY: I am 35 years old and have been divorced for four years. Hypothetically speaking, if I decide never to remarry (which is tempting), or if I remarry 20 years from now, what is my marital status between now and then?

I consider myself single, not divorced. If I'm still single when I'm 55 -- or 80, for that matter -- I'd hate to refer to myself as "divorced" and give anyone the idea that I was divorced recently. -- SYLVIA IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR SYLVIA: The term "divorced" means that the person was at one time married and the marriage was legally dissolved. This is true whether the divorce was final 20 minutes ago or 20 years ago. When a person's marriage ends in divorce, she is legally a divorcee -- and that includes you. To imply otherwise is dishonest.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)