DEAR ABBY: What can I do about a family member who corrects my grammar and pronunciation, interrupting what I am saying? I am well-educated and pronounce things well -– most of the time. An example: I was saying, "So, she said she was the liaison to ..." and this person will say, "Is that how you say that?"

I will say, "I thought so," and the person will respond, "Well, it's French, you know, so I would think it is pronounced ..." and on and on, and of course the original conversation is lost.

I have tried everything. I have asked her to stop and she promises, but does not. I have tried ignoring the interruption and talking over her, but that is rude, and then she acts hurt. I have tried stopping the conversation and not continuing afterward, but she doesn't notice. It seems not to have occurred to her that others in the room might actually want to hear what I was going to say.

I think she would stop if she could, and she isn't trying to be mean. Have you any suggestions, because this certainly is frustrating. -- PAMELA IN TAMPA, FLA.

DEAR PAMELA: If you haven't been able to make your family member cease and desist, there is little I can do. However, I will point out that people who interrupt others are rude –- and if she makes a habit of doing it, she is probably as welcome as a skunk at a garden party. She may interrupt to correct you because she wants attention, or she may consciously or unconsciously be trying to "one up" you. Whatever the problem is, I wouldn't blame you if you were in her company as little as possible –- which, by the way, may be the solution to your problem.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 21-year-old woman with a best friend I'll call "Darren." Darren is the sweetest guy you would ever want to meet. He'll be a good husband to someone someday.

My problem is that Darren wants a romantic relationship with me. He has wanted this ever since we met at work a year ago. Abby, I don't feel the same way about him. I have told him repeatedly that I want to be free to date whoever I want, and I don't consider going out on a "date" with him dating. I think of it as two friends hanging out. I have also told him he should go out with other women if he gets the chance, but he refuses. He says he likes only me.

I recently met a hot guy named "Mike" I really like a lot. When I told Darren, he was jealous and hurt. He asked how I could consider a "date" with Mike, but not with him.

I'm afraid if I decide to go steady with Mike it will hurt Darren, and that's the last thing I want to do. Also, what if Mike is wrong for me and I miss out on a great guy like Darren? Do you think I led him on? Am I wrong for wanting to start a relationship with someone else? Please tell me what to do. -- SOUTHERN SIREN IN NEW ORLEANS

DEAR SIREN: You haven't led anyone on, and you are entitled to your feelings. Darren has been hanging around, hoping you will fall in love with him. You have been up-front with him. Please don't let him wear you down. If the chemistry hasn't kicked in for a year, it isn't likely to happen -– regardless of whether Mike is or isn't "the one." Tell Darren the time has come for both of you to date others, and let him go.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: An ex-girlfriend from three years ago has asked me to help her work on a project that will further her career.

I am already established, and have been known to help people on occasion. I want her to succeed, but the problem with this particular charity case is the reason we broke up. It happened just days before I planned to propose to her, when I found out that she had been unfaithful to me.

Originally, I didn't want to help her and told her I thought the situation would make me uncomfortable because I would have to spend a lot of time with her. However, when I related this to a friend, he told me to get over it and help her. (My other friends thought I was a sucker for even considering it.)

I am over the heartbreak I once felt with her, although it took a while. I'm dating now, but have yet to meet someone I click with.

How should I handle this? My initial response was "No -- I think I'd feel too uncomfortable." But I keep second-guessing myself. -- WOBBLY BOUNDARIES IN TEXAS

DEAR WOBBLY: I think the woman had a lot of nerve asking you to help her, considering the terms of your breakup.

Please stop second-guessing yourself; listen to your gut and "pass." Because if you don't, MY gut tells me you are going to get emotionally involved and get hurt again.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter, "Brooke," is nearly 7 and very attached to our family dog, "Tuffy." Tuffy is 13, deaf, going blind and has difficulty walking. We have spent a fortune keeping Tuffy with us, including tumor removals, but it has reached the point where we don't want him to suffer anymore. We are considering having him euthanized.

We have discussed what will happen to Tuffy with Brooke. We asked her whether she would like to come with us when we take Tuffy to the vet, or if she'd like to say goodbye and stay with a friend while my wife and I go. She voted for the latter, but in discussing it further she gets very upset.

The alternative is to lie to her and have Tuffy put down while Brooke is at school, and tell her that he passed away during the day. Either way, she will be very sad. All I want is to spare my daughter as much grief as possible. What do you think? -- FEELING GUILTY IN SAN JOSE

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: First of all, please stop feeling guilty. When a pet can no longer be active and enjoy life, its owner is doing it a favor to give it an easy way out. (Human beings should be so fortunate!) It's normal for your daughter to be upset at the idea her pet will die, and she should not be present when it is put to sleep. That's too big a dose of reality for a child her age. While some might not agree with me, I also feel that it would be a kindness not to tell her exactly when you plan to take Tuffy to the vet.

DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old son almost always ends up in my bed in the middle of the night. I am a single mother, so this doesn't really bother me, but I'm beginning to wonder if I should start discouraging this. What do you think? -- THINKING TWICE IN BATTLE CREEK, MICH.

DEAR THINKING TWICE: I think it's important that you find out why your son isn't able to make it through the night in his own bed. If you can't get to the bottom of it, then schedule an appointment for the two of you with his pediatrician.

DEAR ABBY: While driving near a school in the late afternoon, I noticed in my rearview mirror a mother talking on her cell phone while her daughter sat stone-faced beside her. This went on for well over two miles and several red lights.

I remember so fondly talking to my boys after school, learning about their day on the drive home. That mom could have been conversing with her daughter, or listening to what her daughter had to say, if she hadn't been on the phone.

I would encourage parents to take a simple step: Make drive time with their kids to and from school a "no phone zone" (for the kids, too). This precious alone time with our children should be used wisely. -- PROUD DAD WITH THREE FANTASTIC SONS

DEAR PROUD DAD: That's terrific advice. You are not the only reader who has written me about seeing parents with small children in tow whose attention is glued to a cell phone rather than on the kids. Although these adults are physically present, their attention is miles away.

Interestingly, I have seen this kind of behavior repeated among young people out on dates -- attractive couples seated in restaurants, both talking on their cell phones rather than to each other. Now, I realize they "could" have been talking to each other -- but wouldn't it have been more logical to direct their comments across the table?

DEAR ABBY: I have been living with "Charles" for two years. For most of that time, he has been on my case to do something with my life.

I have a job, although not a high-paying one, but I get by. At Charles' suggestion I enrolled in a vocational college. I have been doing quite well, getting A's on my tests and quizzes. I feel I'm accomplishing something and improving my future.

My problem is that Charles gives me no encouragement. He is always telling me I'm going to drop out as soon as it becomes difficult. Abby, I really like my classes and my instructors. I have never been a quitter. So why does he keep suggesting otherwise? Is it wrong of me to expect encouragement instead of put-downs? -- CONFUSED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFUSED: Charles may be trying to use reverse psychology, thinking that if he tells you you'll fail, then it will stimulate you to try harder. Or he may have an inferiority complex and tries to build himself up by putting you down.

An example: A woman I know told her husband she wanted to go into real estate. Instead of encouraging her, his response was that she'd "never pass the test." She not only passed the test, but did it on her first try! Then he told her that she'd "never sell a house." Not only did she sell a house, she built a comfortable career selling many of them -- in spite of his dire prediction.

Years later, she mentioned she'd like to open a children's discount clothing store. He laughed and told her it would never succeed. Because he was a businessman, she believed him and didn't pursue it. Of course, we all know how popular discount stores are today. My friend has regretted it ever since.

Back to you: You're getting good grades and enjoying what you're doing. Thank Charles for pointing you in that direction, but take your encouragement from your instructors. To do otherwise would be like taking swimming lessons from someone who insists you wear cement boots.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)