DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, I lost a treasured stuffed animal from my childhood. I told my husband about it, and how sad it made me.
Being the caring, thoughtful person he is, he went on eBay to see if he could find one like it. He thought he had located it, but wanted to be absolutely sure, so he sent my mom the link. She informed him it wasn't the same bear and convinced him not to buy it, but still he told me about it.
The next time we went to visit my mother, she said she had a "surprise" for me. As we were packing to go home, she presented the surprise: The same teddy bear my husband had shown her. He was very upset, but did not confront her.
My husband has also mentioned that he feels my mother doesn't like him. Would it be OK to ask her why she bought the bear after talking him out of it? If so, how would you suggest mentioning it without sounding accusatory? -- UPSET IN COLUMBUS, OHIO
DEAR UPSET: Stop worrying about sounding accusatory, and just ask her why she did it. Maybe she wanted to be a "hero." Maybe she felt the need to upstage your husband. Whatever the reason, she should explain herself. She owes your husband an apology.