DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Arnold," and I have lived together two years. During the four years that we've known each other, we have had only five or six really bad, screaming, door-slamming, crying fights about relatively important subjects like children and money.
Arnold told me yesterday morning that he would be playing soccer with friends after work, and to expect him home a little later than usual. Well, when he wasn't home by 10:30 p.m., I panicked because he's usually home from games by 7. His cell phone was turned off, so I called a co-worker to try to locate him. Ten minutes later Arnold walked in the door. When he heard I had called a co-worker trying to locate him, he got very angry. He raised his voice, called me "psycho," and said I had no right to know where he was every minute.
Abby, we live in a bad neighborhood where innocent people getting shot, run over and killed isn't unusual. I am very upset because I have no idea why he got so angry. We have since made up, but I'm still hurting and feel his reaction was undeserved. Did I overreact? Is this a bad sign for our future? -- LOVES ARNOLD IN OAKLAND
DEAR LOVES ARNOLD: Your boyfriend may have been embarrassed because his co-worker was called, or he may have been angry because he was somewhere other than a soccer game. I don't know him, so I can't read his motivation.
However, now that you both have cooled down, it's time to explain to Arnold again how worried you were when he didn't show up or call, and ask him why he reacted the way he did. Suggest that, in the future, he give you a call when he's going to be more than an hour late.