DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Tim," and I were having dinner at a bar and grill one night last week when some of my male co-workers walked in. We exchanged greetings and I introduced them to Tim.
A short while later, one of them approached us and said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but the guys and I were taking a survey, and we'd like to know what size bra you wear."
Tim and I were dumbfounded at the crude remark. I told him to tell the guys it was none of their business, and he went away. On our way out, Tim made it clear that we were not happy with their rudeness, but only one of them had the courtesy to offer an apology for the remark.
I work with these men every day. We always had a good rapport. There was never any disrespect prior to this. I have seen these men every day and had work-related discussions with them. Two of them have made reference to the incident, but neither has apologized.
I discussed the incident with a female co-worker who is in a supervisory position over these men. She was livid and recommended I report it as sexual harassment. However, their actions have made things here at work very uncomfortable for me. I'm afraid if I make it a workplace issue it could be detrimental.
Should I let this go away on its own, or confront the people involved? I usually avoid socializing with co-workers where alcohol is served for this very reason. -- HURT AND OFFENDED IN DAYTON
DEAR HURT AND OFFENDED: You have nothing to gain by confronting the men who harassed you. As to the matter "going away on its own," as long as your harassers continue to allude to the incident without apology, the matter will not die. I'm casting my vote with the co-worker who advised you to report the incident. If your company does not have clearly written sexual harassment policies, then it's behind the times.