DEAR READERS: An older reader with a broken wrist recently wrote me to complain that it has become impossible for seniors to open various products because manufacturers now seal them so securely. True to form, my readers stepped up to the plate to offer helpful suggestions. (Dear Abby readers are without a doubt the kindest, most generous people in the world!) Read on:

FROM WAUWATOSA, WIS.: There's a product that is indispensable for weakened or arthritic hands. It's a thin, flat disc made of pliable rubber, textured on one side. A friend gave me one years ago, and it helps me get a grip on hard-to-open jars. Some businesses give them away as promotional items, and I think they're available in hardware stores.

FROM ANDOVER, MINN.: If that reader eats fresh broccoli, he or she is in luck. The stems are held together by small, sturdy, wide rubber bands. Slip one around the top of a jar or bottle and it can be twisted off without straining your wrist -- I guarantee. I'm 84, and into everything!

FROM WALLINGFORD, CONN.: I just hold the top of the jar or bottle under hot running water for a few seconds. The heat causes it to expand and makes opening easier.

FROM WESTON, MO.: I'm a senior, too. Here's the answer ... put on a pair of rubber gloves, and you'll get a better grip on the item.

FROM SEATTLE: I'm a caregiver. I don't know if the general population knows this, but a lot of pharmacies will fill their prescriptions in bubble packs. Bubble packs are similar to bubble wrap. Getting to the medication is as easy as popping an air-filled bubble. The agency I work for does business with a pharmacy that will even put over-the-counter medications into bubble packs.

FROM MISSOULA, MONT.: I use a wide-bladed flat screwdriver. I insert the blade under the edge of the lid and pry it up in a few places. It breaks the vacuum seal and the jar unscrews easily.

FROM OAK HARBOR, WASH.: I keep a magnetic bottle opener handily stuck on the door of my refrigerator. To open stubborn jars, I slip the point under the edge of the lid and break the seal.

FROM NEW JERSEY: I read with amusement and sympathy the letter from "Broken Wrist in Alabama." Rather than spend $50 for an electric jar opener, I sprang for a buck-and-a-half ice pick. I puncture a hole in the center of the lid with the ice pick, the vacuum is released and the lid simply twists off. If the contents of the jar are not completely used, I seal the opening with cellophane tape or plastic wrap for storage. It's an easy, low-cost solution to a problem many of us have to deal with.

FROM KENTS STORE, VA.: It's not just medicines and food stuffs, Abby. Battery packs, small tools, all kinds of things are almost impossible to open because they are sealed in tough plastic. I am fit and active. I garden and am pretty strong, but some of those packages almost defeat me. There's no way to open this kind of packaging without scissors or worse. I hope somebody listens to this.

DEAR READERS: So do I!

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DEAR ABBY: My in-laws are retired and live about four hours away. When they visit, they bring their male miniature schnauzer, "Liebchen," with them. Being a dog lover and owner myself, I don't mind them bringing the dog. What I do mind is that Liebchen keeps marking his territory INSIDE my home. During a two-day visit at Easter, he urinated in at least four locations.

When this happens, my mother-in-law just giggles and says, "That's what little boys do." I have pointed out that my dog doesn't do it, and it is not acceptable behavior. She just shrugs. After they left, I found another spot where Liebchen had urinated. This time he took the finish off an antique copper plant stand. My mother-in-law never even considered punishing or scolding him.

There is no question that it's Liebchen doing this. He has ruined a sofa, a chair and a dining room rug in my sister-in-law's home. Abby, the dog is house-trained and he's not incontinent. He does it because he thinks he's in charge -- which in their house he is.

My husband is reluctant to say anything to his parents, although this bothers him as much as it does me. Is it appropriate for me to discipline their dog in my home? If not, how can I politely tell them that if they can't control their dog, he is no longer welcome? -- SATURATED IN ATLANTA

DEAR SATURATED: That your in-laws would allow their animal to destroy your home is disgraceful. It should not be your job to discipline their dog. That's THEIR job.

However, since they don't seem to be up to it, the next time they mention they're coming for a visit, offer to board little Liebchen at a kennel. Or try this: Suggest that instead of them coming to visit you -- you and their son will go to visit THEM. (And take your dog.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband's aunt, "Vivian," recently confided a family secret. She told me that my father-in-law is not my husband's biological father. (I have always instinctively felt that he wasn't.) Aunt Vivian also informed me that the person was her now-deceased husband, "Uncle Zeke." Abby, it was incest. Uncle Zeke was my husband's mother's brother.

Aunt Vivian asked me never to divulge this to anyone, but my husband and I have a marriage that's based on trust. I feel that I should tell him. But if I do, it will mean breaking a promise to an old woman whose husband is no longer here to defend himself. Should I go to my husband with this, or go to my mother-in-law and tell her?

My husband and his parents do not have a close relationship. He has always been treated like the black sheep in the family. His younger brother was given all the attention and was treated like a prince by his parents. An example: My in-laws had a family portrait taken of them with their youngest son. My husband was not asked to be in the picture. Because of this, I feel I wouldn't be upsetting a close family if I reveal this.

What should I do? I'm afraid if I don't tell my husband and he finds out later that I knew, it will cause problems in our marriage. -- LOST IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR LOST: Aunt Vivian didn't confide a family secret; she exploded a family bombshell. It would explain why your husband has been treated the way he has by his parents all these years.

It was unfair of Aunt Vivian to place such a burden on your shoulders, so go back to this fountain of information and tell her that you don't keep secrets from your husband and she has a choice -- she can tell him or you will. It could answer a lot of painful questions for him.

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DEAR ABBY: There are 20 million quilters in the USA, and I bet you will hear from a lot of them about the answer you gave "Krista in Salt Lake City," who asked what she should do with an heirloom quilt.

You advised that the quilt should be taken to a dry cleaner to be packed for storage, and later it could be displayed in a shadow box frame as long as it isn't exposed to direct sunlight.

Abby, that quilt should NOT be sent to a cleaners. It should NOT be stored in plastic, nor should it be hung for more than three months. -- NANCY I., SALINAS, CALIF.

DEAR NANCY I.: I had thought that a cleaner who specializes in wedding gowns would know how to preserve an antique quilt. But not according to serious quilters! After Krista's letter was printed, the amount of mail I received from concerned quilters was astonishing. Read on:

FROM EASTHAMPTON, MASS.: Krista should not, under any circumstances, let that quilt be cleaned by a commercial dry cleaner. Some 19th-century cottons are fragile and will disintegrate when touched by cleaning chemicals.

Krista should contact a local museum (the larger the better) with a textile collection for advice, or get in touch with her local quilt guild. If she can find someone from the American Quilt Studies Group, even better.

The quilt should be properly documented, photographed, wrapped in acid-free tissue paper, and stored in a dark, dry place. If she wants to display it, she should invest in a climate-controlled case, have it mounted in the case by someone who's familiar with antique textiles, and keep it out of sunlight.

FROM VISALIA, CALIF.: The quilt should be wrapped in a cotton sheet with as few folds as possible. It should be removed from the sheet and refolded every few months so that the creases are not in the same place. Ideally, it should be rolled so there are no folds, but most people don't have that kind of storage capability. If she needs more help, there are quilt guilds in Salt Lake City, or a fabric store might be of help.

FROM MONTEREY, CALIF.: As a textile conservator at the Monterey History and Art Association, I could not refrain from writing. No textile should EVER be stored in plastic or even an ordinary box, which is acid. Plastic emits toxic chemicals that eventually damage the textile, and the acid box will also damage fabrics.

The first thing Krista should do is wrap the quilt in a clean cotton sheet until she can get the proper storage materials. (We store our more than 5,000 pieces of antique clothing and textiles in acid-free boxes with acid-free tissue paper wrapping.) Also, if the quilt is ever framed, that frame should be made of acid-free materials. (A good framer would be able to do this.)

You were correct about not exposing the textiles to direct sunlight, or for that matter, any strong light.

FROM SIGNAL MOUNTAIN, TENN.: Please tell that young, intelligent woman to contact a professional quilt restorer. A quilt of that age could very well be a state treasure if her brother could bear to part with it. Storage in a climate-controlled location would be of value. The American Quilter's Society in Paducah, Ky., could be helpful in locating a qualified professional in her area; the Web site is www.americanquilter.com.

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