DEAR ABBY: I love the occasional "how we met" stories in your column, and would like to share mine. "Blake" lived in the apartment below me during college. His roommates and mine would often get together casually. One night, after work, Blake announced that he had to pick up his sister from the airport. "Would anyone like to ride along and keep me awake?" he asked.

I had nothing better to do, so I volunteered. During the drive, Blake pulled out a two-carat diamond ring and said, "I know I don't know you very well, but ..." He was grinning from ear to ear, and I was hugging the door handle wondering, "Is this guy for real?" When he saw my reaction, he started laughing and apologized. The ring belonged to his sister. She was returning from her honeymoon and had asked him to keep it so it wouldn't be lost.

I'm quick-witted, so I got back at him when we reached the airport. I went first through the security checkpoint. (Those were the days when you could wait at the gate for your passenger to get off the plane.) When Blake passed through the metal detector, of course it "beeped" and he had to empty his pockets. As soon as he put the ring box on the tray, I started jumping up and down, saying loudly, "Oh, honey. Yes! Yes!" Then I threw my arms around his neck and gave him a huge hug. People around us began clapping and Blake was so embarrassed! Twenty minutes later people were still pointing and whispering about the guy who had just proposed.

From that night on, we knew we'd end up together. We're two practical jokers who still make each other laugh after 12 years and four children. -- KATE IN IDAHO FALLS

DEAR KATE: I'm not surprised. A sense of humor can make even the most trying times easier to bear. I'm pleased your romance is still in the clouds so many years after it took off at the airport. May it ever be thus.

DEAR Abby: I'm a 43-year-old woman with a college degree and a highly technical job. I'm preparing to buy a large piece of land on which I plan to build my dream home. Because I am under 5 feet tall, I'll be having my home custom-built for my comfort, with the countertops and shelves lowered a few inches.

This drives my 63-year-old mother out of her skull, even though the house itself will be normal-sized and perfectly comfortable for even the tallest visitor. It's just that I have spent my entire life standing on my toes or a stepladder to reach anything higher than the first shelf in the cupboards. If I need to use the back burners on a stove, I suffer burns when I reach over the front burners. I use long barbecue tongs to reach items above the second shelf in the cupboard, and sometimes the tongs knock things off the shelf and onto my head.

Mother has been ridiculing me in a cruel manner lately about my height, implying that I can make myself taller if I really want to. My height never angered my mother before I started planning the house. Can you give me a clue about why she wants me to go "into the closet" with my height? -- PAULA IN TUCSON

DEAR PAULA: Your mother may be concerned that your home will be so uniquely customized that it could adversely affect its resale value. Since the house is still in the planning stages, I have a suggestion: Talk to your architect about making the counters and shelves in your home adjustable, so they can be raised and lowered at will. This is done for people with disabilities such as those in wheelchairs, and it could be helpful for you, too.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY CHRISTIAN READERS: A happy Easter to all of you!

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Our 25-year-old son was married a year ago. Without going into detail, suffice it to say, he messed up big time. He and his wife are being divorced. During the time they were together they lived in an apartment.

Although he emptied out the savings account along the way, we gave his wife a check for one-half of what had been there. She should not have to suffer for his bad choices. As far as the divorce settlement is concerned, they have nothing but the shower and wedding gifts. Isn't he entitled to half of them? Her family thinks not. Oh, by the way, we paid for half the wedding. -- THE IN-LAWS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR IN-LAWS: This is a problem that should be discussed with your son's divorce lawyer. Because the gifts could be considered community property, that property should be divided according to an agreement between your son and his wife, or by the judge if they can't agree.

DEAR ABBY: I am not a licensed caregiver, but I baby-sit for a neighbor child, "Caleb." The boy is too young to talk and tell me if he's being abused, but I am concerned about his home environment. Caleb spends eight to 10 hours a day with me, and I have noticed that he's afraid of men and easily frightened.

Caleb's uncle, who lives with him, is violent and uses drugs. His mother breaks probation a lot, goes out after curfew and drinks. I don't think this is a stable environment at all.

Caleb often comes to my home unfed, even though the original agreement was that I would prepare lunch and snacks only. Now I'm doing much more than that.

Am I legally responsible to report my suspicions of abuse and/or neglect as a day-care would? And who exactly do I call? Please advise. -- CALEB'S CAREGIVER

DEAR CAREGIVER: You are not legally required to report your suspicions of abuse and neglect of the child; however, you are MORALLY required to do so. Child protective services should be notified about what you have told me. They're listed in your phone directory.

DEAR ABBY: As the senior population increases, the baby boomer manufacturers have gone hog wild. They have made it impossible for seniors to open anything that has any kind of seal. They have manufactured such closures that we seniors can no longer open bottles, jars, etc. without using a hammer, pliers or breaking our wrists.

Once I was unable to open a bottle of medicine that I needed immediately, as the seal could not be broken. Can you please get the message out to these corporations to devise a way to make closures that children cannot open but we seniors can? -- BROKEN WRIST IN ALABAMA

DEAR BROKEN WRIST: I'm sad to say this, but the food and drug manufacturers no longer seal their products the way they do just to protect children. There's enough concern about protecting the public that they want to ensure that people don't buy something that has been tampered with.

Many pharmacies will gladly "un-childproof" medications for customers if asked to do so. It makes opening meds literally a "snap." As to the other products, it may be necessary to ask your grocer to open your purchases for you before you take them home, or invest in an electric jar opener.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am an HIV counselor in Chicago, and I'm extremely concerned about the number of clients I counsel who have cheated on their partners. These are people being tested because they're afraid they have HIV, and yet they actively choose not to protect their partners. The usual response I hear when I ask them why is, "If I start using condoms, or ask my partner to use them, she/he will know something is up."

I don't get it, Abby. Can you help me understand?

There has also been an increase of married men having sex with other men. Again, no protection for the partner. Are these people so concerned about themselves and their egos that they risk their partners' lives?

Please advise your readers that I could be talking to THEIR partners about HIV testing. Have you any advice for how I can counsel people who test positive and refuse to tell their partners? -- STUMPED

DEAR STUMPED: Consider discussing with your clients exactly how NOT disclosing will affect their partners and their children. If you can break through their self-centeredness and elicit sympathy for the people whose lives they are endangering, you might be able to make them understand the importance of partner notification. It's worth a try.

One would think that a rational person would want to protect his or her partner from a sickness that could be fatal. However, the patients you describe appear to be either clueless or willfully selfish -- people without a conscience who do not think about how their actions will affect others.

I personally think that someone who knowingly infects another with HIV is committing a crime and should be punished for it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "John" has a 13-year-old daughter, "Dana," from a prior relationship. He never married the mother, and I suspect he feels some guilt about it.

Dana has decided she would like to buy her mom a "mother's ring" for Mother's Day and has asked her father to pay for it. John agreed. He sees nothing wrong with such an expensive gift because he says he's doing it for his daughter, not her mother.

I know his intentions are only to please Dana, but I can't just bite my tongue and let it go. We are not rich people. We both work. The ring Dana has in mind will cost between $200 and $300. I feel that since the mother is married, that Dana's stepfather would be the one to buy this gift -- or at least pitch in.

This is the first time in the more than 10 years we have been married that something like this has come up. I don't think it should be our place to foot the entire bill for such an expensive gift. Am I wrong? -- WORKED UP IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WORKED UP: At 13, Dana is old enough to learn that money doesn't grow on trees. The gift she gives her mother should come from money she has either earned or saved from her allowance. If your husband is determined to buy the ring, at least a portion of the cost should be paid by Dana. I hope he will consider what I have said.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)