DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Lance," attends the Naval Academy in Annapolis. We have been dating seriously for a long time and have made plans to start our life together when he graduates and heads off to flight school. I intended to leave my job, my family and friends to be with him.
Recently, out of the clear blue sky, Lance told me he has second thoughts about our plans. He said his doubts stem from his concern for my best interests. He feels it would be too difficult for me to continually move over the years, and he would feel guilty asking me to sacrifice so much for him.
I was caught completely off guard. I told Lance that, because I love him so much, I want to give this new life a chance. We talked for hours, and he decided that although he loves me very much, his life belongs to the Navy, and no one but he should make sacrifices.
Should I try to mend this relationship or let him go? -- STILL IN LOVE IN MARYLAND
DEAR STILL: It's apparent that Lance gave the matter considerable thought before he discussed his change of heart with you. "Mending fences" won't work because his mind is already made up. Speaking metaphorically, the ship has sailed, and you have been left behind. As I see it, you have no choice but to let him go. Make the break a clean one and move on.