DEAR ABBY: I love my husband, "Harvey," very much, but he is tight with money. I am not a spendthrift, and we pay our bills on time and have no large debts.

Every time we buy something, Harvey feels the need to comment about how much we're spending. This includes eating out -- which we do infrequently. I have walked out of more than one restaurant when Harvey started complaining about the prices. I tell him it takes the enjoyment out of an otherwise pleasant experience, but he doesn't seem to get it. He says he likes to complain and that I should ignore it.

We have an anniversary coming up, and I know Harvey will want to take me out to dinner, but I can't look forward to it because I know what will happen, and I won't have a good time. What should I do? -- WANTS TO EAT IN PEACE IN MAINE

DEAR WANTS TO EAT IN PEACE: Remind your frugal husband in advance that your anniversary is a special day, and you don't want the evening ruined by his complaining about the cost of the dinner. When your special day arrives and you're leaving for the restaurant, tell him sweetly that if he complains about the expense, he'll be sleeping in the doghouse.

DEAR ABBY: I am (not by choice) the single mother of a beautiful 19-month-old daughter I'll call Jenny. Jenny's father, "John," died in a car accident less than a year ago. His best friend, "Paul," arranged a benefit with the proceeds to go to Jenny. That was last July. Jenny has yet to receive a dime of this money.

Paul never told me the exact amount that was raised, and he still has the money. I spend a lot of time with them, but I'm scared to ask. Paul and his wife are facing some big expenses, so I'm afraid they might "borrow" Jenny's money. All of it was donated by family, friends and the people I work for.

I asked Paul's wife about it the other day, and she said she would get back to me, but the expression on her face was unsettling. I'm afraid they're going to use my daughter's money to cover their expenses. I really want to get it out of their hands and put it in Jenny's trust account. How can I keep the peace and still get what is due my daughter? -- HOPEFUL IN OHIO

DEAR HOPEFUL: That may not be possible; however, your daughter's future is more important than a potential argument. If the money that was raised for your daughter has been diverted, it may be considered fraud and embezzlement. For Jenny's sake, please consult a lawyer and have the lawyer get the money plus an accounting.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is obsessed with large breasts and constantly "hints" that I should enlarge my 34Cs. Lately he has been coming home late and telling me that he's been working overtime, when I know for a fact that he's been hanging out with his ex-girlfriend, a stripper with 38DDs.

I love my boyfriend and don't want to lose him, but I'm not sure about enlargement. If it's the only way I can get him away from her, I guess I'll do it. What do you think, Abby? -- NOT BUSTY ENOUGH IN PHILLY

DEAR NOT ENOUGH: Rather than enlarging your breasts to satisfy his obsession, you'd be better served to enlarge your circle of boyfriends.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are very happy. However, his mother is an intrusive pest. I am a stay-at-home mom, and she calls all day long. When I answer, I get an earful about how often her son calls or doesn't call her, or she finds fault with the things I do with my children. If I don't answer, she comes over to our house.

The other day, she knew that I was going to my mom's office to drop some stuff off and help her with some things. When I arrived, there was my husband's mother, sitting there waiting for me. Also, when my husband confides in her –- like when I got pregnant –- she takes it upon herself to call my family and announce it instead of allowing me to tell them myself.

I love my husband. We are happy together. But I have reached the point where I'm beginning to consider divorce in order to get away from his mother. He has offered to speak to her, but I feel bad because I know she'll know I asked him to say something. What should I do? -- TEARING MY HAIR OUT

DEAR TEARING: You have described a lonely, needy person with too much time on her hands. Rather than expecting you to entertain her, she needs to get a life of her own. Your husband should talk to his mother and encourage her to find other interests. If she blames you, so be it. However, he would be doing her a favor to help her investigate what activities and opportunities are available for seniors in your community in case she's so passive she doesn't know how to reach out.

DEAR ABBY: My companion and lover, "Jimmy," stole $40 from some close friends of mine. He was caught, confronted, and paid the money back. I told Jimmy if anything like that ever happened again, he was out the door.

I am willing to forget the incident and move on; however, my two friends feel differently. It has created a wedge between us. They continue to talk to me on the phone at work, but Jimmy's name is never mentioned. Yesterday, when I casually mentioned the four of us getting together, I was informed that it would never happen. I did nothing wrong, but I am feeling ostracized. Any suggestions? -- IN THE MIDDLE IN COLUMBIA, S.C.

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: You are not being ostracized, Jimmy is –- and for good reason. He has sticky fingers. Allow me to offer two suggestions: If he'd steal from your friends, he would also steal from you, so keep your valuables under lock and key. And socialize with your friends without him.

DEAR ABBY: At my school, a period of time is dedicated to discussing world events. My teacher, "Mrs. Jones," has often shared her opinions about world events and our government with us. She has very strong opinions and usually gets upset when anyone disagrees with her. One day when she was talking, I told her I did not agree with her opinion and got detention for it. Personally, I don't think I deserved one.

I understand that I shouldn't be rude to teachers, but I believe that my comment was respectful. Was I out of line? -- UNCERTAIN IN FRANKLIN LAKES, N.J.

DEAR UNCERTAIN: If the comment was disruptive, it may have been. It would have been more diplomatic had you voiced your disagreement after the class was over.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My brother recently discovered that his 16-year-old stepdaughter has been chatting online with a man in another state, up to and including phone sex. He went into her e-mail without her permission to see what was going on after she ran up a $300 phone bill.

When he confronted her about the bill, she lied and said she had been talking to a girlfriend. Her mother -- my brother's wife -- thinks her daughter would never do anything wrong and gets mad at my brother if he implies otherwise. He doesn't want to do anything about the situation for fear of her wrath.

I say, the girl's safety is more important than a fight with his wife. Do you know if there's a task force that he could e-mail this information to and remain anonymous? I would like to see that man caught before something horrible happens to this beautiful young girl. -- PROTECTIVE IN COLORADO

DEAR PROTECTIVE: The girl has been victimized by a predator. Your brother's wife is doing her daughter no good by behaving like an ostrich and pretending this incident never happened.

There are several things your brother can do. He should contact his local FBI office and/or visit the Web site � HYPERLINK "http://www.fbi.gov" ��www.fbi.gov� and check out the area devoted to cyber crimes -- specifically crimes against children under "What We Investigate." If he is referred to his local police department, he should contact them immediately so they can investigate further. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children also has an informative Web site, � HYPERLINK "http://www.missingkids.com" ��www.missingkids.com�, which provides information regarding exploited children and an opportunity to report it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single woman, and while I have kissed a lot of men, only a few were great kissers. You don't want to give up on a great guy because his kiss is only average. I gently tried to provide a bit of coaching with an ex, but it made him defensive.

How do you teach a middle-aged man to kiss? Before I get into another relationship, a little advice in this area would be helpful. Also, would you approach it early on -- or after there is an established relationship? -- WANTS A GREAT KISSER

DEAR WANTS: Since different people are turned on by different things, no one should expect to get it right on the first try. A considerate kisser wants to please.

The best way I know of to "teach" a middle-aged man to kiss -- or a young one or an old one, for that matter -- is to demonstrate, demonstrate. Practice makes perfect, and the time to approach it is soon after he makes his next attempt.

DEAR ABBY: I'm recently divorced after a four-year separation from my husband. My ex treats me like dirt and cannot speak to me without becoming angry and abusive.

I wasn't the cause of the breakup. He cheated on me. I offered to rebuild the trust and work it out, but he refused. I just want to know why he is angry. I have tried to ask him why he gets so defensive. He is living with the woman he cheated with. Why does he carry so much anger toward me? He is supposedly happy with her. -- PUZZLED AND HURT IN KENTUCKY

DEAR HURT: He would rather aim his anger at you than face himself. He knows what he did was wrong, and it's easier for him to blame you than take responsibility and accept himself as a cheater. It's called blaming the victim.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)