DEAR ABBY: Last summer I was attacked by my boss's dog at work, leaving a nasty scar on my nose. My boss, claiming to be a "healing expert," advised me to avoid a trip to the doctor (as they don't put stitches in one's nose, he said) and to instead let him apply "healing oils" to my face. He said the scar would be gone within a month. I naively heeded his advice.

During my remaining time at work, his wife (also my boss and the true owner of the dog) looked after me caringly, always wishing me well on my healing, swearing genuinely by her husband's talents as a healer.

Three months and nine days later, the scar is still there, and on a recent trip to the doctor he informed me that I should have gotten stitches. I now face expensive plastic surgery or dermatological work if I want to be rid of the scar.

I am debating whether I should take legal action. I'd feel guilty because the wife would be the brunt of any lawsuit when, I believe, she sincerely had faith in her husband, but I can't help but feel he cheated me. What should I do? -- DOWNTRODDEN AND DOG-BITTEN

DEAR D&D: It should be as plain as the scar on your nose to your employers that the husband's "healing powers" failed in your case. Put them on notice that you will be getting a referral to a board-certified plastic surgeon or dermatologist to repair the damage to your face, and that you expect them or their insurance provider to pay the bill. If they give you an argument, consult a lawyer. Do not feel guilty. You are the victim. How the "healer" handles this letter will reveal whether he's truly a healer, or just a heel.

DEAR ABBY: Two months before our wedding, my fiance, "Frank," and I called it off. We broke up completely for a while, hoping to resolve some problems before tying the knot. At the time, I had a maid of honor and five bridesmaids, all dearest, closest friends.

Since then we have all graduated, and now, a year after our original wedding date, Frank and I are engaged again.

A few of the girls who were supposed to be in the wedding party have drifted away, and as I plan my upcoming wedding, I'm wondering if I must re-invite every member of the original wedding party. I would prefer a smaller number of attendants, to make it a more special group. However, I'm afraid that if I do that, I'll irrevocably damage my friendship with some of these girls. I'd appreciate your advice. -- PARTY-PRUNING BRIDE IN OHIO

DEAR PARTY-PRUNER: As long as you explain to your girlfriends that you are scaling down the wedding in favor of something smaller and more simple, they should understand and not be offended. Some of them may even be relieved to be off the hook for the dresses, shoes and other expenses that go along with the "honor."

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My name is Crystal and I am 24 years old. For some time now, I have wanted to send letters to our troops overseas to express how much the citizens of this country appreciate and respect them and their families. They sacrifice so much to serve our country. I would like the privilege of telling them we care about them, as well as the chance to make some new friends.

With the holidays quickly approaching, I believe it is even more important to show that we care. Could you please let me and your other readers know of a way we can e-mail or send regular mail to make all of this possible?

I would also like to remind everyone that as we are all busy with cooking and shopping for the holidays, we should take some time to let our brave members of the military know we care for them and their families. God bless everyone in the world! -- APPRECIATIVE IN SAN JOSE

DEAR APPRECIATIVE: Your sentiments are beautiful, and I can't think of a better time to express them than today -- Veterans Day -- and also the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's holidays.

Following the 9/11 terrorist attacks and the anthrax scare, our Department of Defense suspended the Operation Dear Abby mail program. The DOD believed that mail made it too easy for terrorists to send bombs and/or other harmful agents to the military.

On Dec. 20, 2001, the Department of Defense and Dear Abby partnered to launch an official DOD Web site so that messages of support could be safely sent to our troops. Members of all branches of the military worldwide can read these messages wherever they are stationed -- even in a submarine deep in the ocean.

OperationDearAbby.net, the only official DOD Web site for sending personally written messages of support to all branches of the military year-round, is easy to use. Please visit and send as many messages as you wish. It's quicker and less expensive than the old way, and messages from home are the biggest morale booster there is.

And while I'm on the subject of morale boosters -- let's not forget the many veterans in veterans hospitals around the country. Cards would certainly be appreciated by those patients, so please consider sending some to the ones in your state.

DEAR ABBY: A close friend of mine is pregnant and has been told by her doctor that the baby has a serious genetic mutation that will most likely result in a stillbirth or death shortly after it is born. I would like to have a baby shower for her, but I am not sure if it is appropriate because of the unhappy circumstances. As you can imagine, my friend feels very sad about this situation. Please advise. -- CARING FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CARING FRIEND: In view of the fact that this child isn't going to make it -- barring a miracle -- there are better ways to show your support than to host a baby shower. You and her other friends should stay in close contact with the mother-to-be, and provide a willing ear and shoulder to cry on. She needs to know that you are there for her far more than gift-wrapped reminders of the baby she will lose.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am struggling with a family problem that could permanently break the bonds with my parents. I am a dentist, married with a family, who followed my father's footsteps into the profession. After five years working at my father's practice, I purchased the practice at full market value.

When this happened, our roles were instantly reversed. I was now running the show. Over the next six years, I took the practice in new directions. My relationship with my parents became more strained and distant as they saw me become more successful.

Father is now retired, and recently needed to have two crowns redone. Although my parents' dental care is free, there was an outside laboratory bill for the fabrication of the two new crowns that came to about $300. I asked my father to pay the lab bill.

I thought things were all right until my mother came in for a routine cleaning a few weeks ago and called me every name in the book. She couldn't believe I would charge my own father for his dental work after raising me as their son. What should I do? I told my mother I'd pay the lab bill myself. Am I wrong on this? My parents and I seem to have completely different views. -- D.D.S. IN DEEP DOO-DOO

DEAR D.D.S.: Geez Louise, it was your FATHER! Where would you be today if you hadn't followed his career path? Allow me to share a philosophy I learned from my own dear mother: "If you're going to do something, give it your best effort." In your case, since you were providing your father's dental care "gratis," that means you should have gone all the way -- and been happy to do it.

DEAR ABBY: My son was invited to a birthday party. When I called the mom to RSVP, I asked her what kind of toys her son was interested in. She replied that it was rude to ask what to buy him, and to just buy him "something suitable for a boy."

Abby, I wasn't trying to be rude. I just thought that if I was going to purchase a gift for the child, I ought to know what he was interested in so I wouldn't buy him something he wouldn't use.

Was I rude to ask the question? I shall think twice about asking again. -- ANONYMOUS IN CANADA

DEAR ANONYMOUS: The mother was wrong to chastise you. Not only do I not think you were rude to ask the question, but I think it was intelligent of you to ask.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wife, "Selma," for two years. I'm sure we both do things that bother each other, but the one thing she does that gets on my nerves is to open my mail. If the mail is addressed to both of us, then I don't mind.

When I come home from work, I find my personal mail opened, read and scattered on the table. How do I tell her to stop reading my mail? -- NO PRIVACY IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR N.P.: Tell her in plain English that it is an invasion of privacy and you resent it, and that you expect to find the envelopes intact when you get home from work. If she doesn't comply, get a post office box in your name only and have your mail delivered there.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)