DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old girl who baby-sits for extra money. I baby-sat for a new family last week. After I put the kids to bed, I found a snake in the house. I was scared for the kids, so I grabbed a kitchen knife and chopped off the snake's head.

When the parents returned, I found out it was their pet snake that had escaped from its cage, and they were really angry. I feel terrible about it. Although I apologized, they won't talk to me when they see me in the neighborhood.

Should I write them a letter of apology or buy them a new snake? I don't know what the proper etiquette is when you kill someone's pet. -- RATTLED IN TEXAS

DEAR RATTLED: You reacted to what you perceived as a danger. What is unfortunate is that the couple for whom you were baby-sitting were so careless they not only failed to tell you they had an exotic pet in the house, but also compounded it by leaving without making sure the creature was securely in its cage where it belonged. You do not "owe" the family a replacement. They owe you an apology.

DEAR ABBY: I was sexually harassed at the age of 7. I wasn't raped; I was just touched and used by my brother's friend.

I am now 13 and I'm very fond of one boy in particular. But ever since I was 7, I can't open up to guys. When I try, I get scared because I remember what happened to me.

I never told my parents what happened, because I never felt like I needed to. But now I'm getting older and I realize how wrong it was -- of him, I mean. I was so young I didn't understand what was happening.

I want some help, but I don't know where to go, so I've turned to you. Please help me, Abby. -- SCARRED 4 LIFE

DEAR YOUNG LADY: Please clip this letter, give it to your mother and tell her you wrote it. You were not harassed; you were MOLESTED. It is important that you talk about what happened with a professional, possibly one who specializes in post-traumatic stress, who can help you work it through. The sooner you start, the sooner you can begin to build healthy relationships with peers. I wish you the best of luck.

P.S. I regret that you didn't report the molestation to your parents when it occurred. Had you done so, you could have received help then, and guaranteed that the boy could not abuse another child.

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it is appropriate for a brother (age 21) and a sister (age 17) to share the same bed? The siblings each have a large, comfortable bed of their own, but frequently wind up sharing. This is very troubling to a dear friend of mine, who is their stepparent. It seems the biological parent is hesitant to discourage the behavior, and only reluctantly admits it might be inappropriate. -- JUST ASKING IN HOUSTON

DEAR JUST: I am mystified at the attitude of the biological parent, who appears to be ignoring a possibly incestuous relationship. Of course it's not appropriate. The "children" should have been sleeping apart since well before puberty.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

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DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, I noticed some porn in my mom and stepdad's room. I didn't mention it to anyone. Later, my older sister accused my stepdad of window-peeping, but no one believed her. Last summer, I noticed him outside my window when I woke up one morning. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to cause a problem.

I have never liked my stepdad. He is verbally abusive. You wouldn't believe what I hear every single day.

I share a bathroom with one of my sisters. Last year when it was remodeled, we noticed a gap between the floor and the basement. (We covered it with towels when we were in there.)

Last week, I noticed what looked like a piece of wood in the gap, so I decided to give it a closer look. It looked like the lens of a camera. When I took a flashlight into the basement and checked it out, I found a cable running through the room and got close enough to see it said "camera" on the back. It faced the toilet.

I don't know who to tell, or if I should. My sister deserves the right to know -- but who else would believe me? I'm just a stupid 14-year-old girl. If I tell my mom, she will kick my stepdad out, and I'll have to go and live with my dad. I'll have to change schools. I'll lose my boyfriend, my friends, my life. Mom could lose the house because my stepdad mainly brings in all the money.

I should have said something when I saw the porn. I feel like this is all my fault. If I don't say anything and it keeps on, it could get worse -- and I'd probably commit suicide from the stress. And what if my friends come over? Please help me -- this is so important. -- DESPERATE IN INDIANA

DEAR DESPERATE: You are not "stupid"; you are a very bright young lady. None of this is your fault. You and your sister are the victims in this nasty business. Your mother should have believed your sister when she complained about the peeping. That she did not is deplorable.

What I want you to do will take courage, but please do it anyway. If you follow my advice, people will have to believe you. Buy a disposable flash camera. Use it to take pictures of the gap in the floor of your bathroom. Then take it into the basement and photograph the camera and the cable. When the pictures are developed, make sure to get several sets of prints. Mail one set to your father. Show one set to your mother, and tell her what you have told me. If she does not protect you immediately, give the third set to a trusted teacher at your school.

Your stepfather is sick and does not belong in a house with young women. Ideally, the police should be notified. If he has been looking into your windows, the chances are that he has been peeping into other windows in the neighborhood. The problem with "Peeping Toms" is their behavior can escalate. That's why you should not remain silent any longer.

DEAR ABBY: I am in love with a wonderful man. He's everything I have been looking for, but he's married and waiting for his divorce to be final.

It has been nearly six months, and he says his wife is prolonging things. I love him and don't want to be without him. I don't understand what's taking so long. Should I trust that what he says is true? -- DESPERATE AND IN LOVE

DEAR D.A.I.L.: If you have to ask me that question, the answer is no.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Last year, my husband's pet rabbit, "Blossom," died. My husband -- I'll call him "Edwin" -- went into the back yard to feed Blossom one morning and found her lying dead in her cage. He gave Blossom a little funeral and buried her in our yard.

Later that day, our neighbor's dog dug up the rabbit. When the neighbor came home for lunch, he found the little body on his doorstep. Thinking his dog had killed Blossom, he panicked. He ran out, bought another rabbit that looked just like Blossom, and placed her in our cage.

When Edwin returned from work that night, he was stunned to find the rabbit sitting in its cage munching a carrot. He rushed over to Blossom's grave and, of course, found it empty. Edwin immediately concluded that a miracle had occurred -- Blossom had returned from the dead.

Ever since, my husband has treated the rabbit like a little deity. He built an altar for her and puts flowers on it every day. He sits in front of her cage in the lotus position and talks to her. When I come around, he stops talking until I leave.

The neighbors have since moved, but last week I ran into the wife and she told me the story I have related to you. Thinking it might help Edwin, I repeated the story to him. He became irate and accused me of trying to ruin the only miraculous thing that had ever happened to him. (His mother had a spider that danced to Chopin etudes, so wackiness runs in the family.)

Should I insist that Edwin seek counseling, or should I continue to live with this? I really don't know where it will end. -- AT MY WIT'S END

DEAR WIT'S END: You may not, but I do. It's going to end here and now. According to snopes.com, your rabbit tale is an urban legend, and so old it has whiskers. In January 1989, Johnny Carson (that king of wit!) related it as an event that had happened to a neighbor. In June 2000, a guest told it to Jay Leno. In July 2000, William Shatner repeated the story, claiming it had happened to his co-author. It turned up again in 2001 on the Chris Isaak show. Thank you for sharing it with me. It's still a thigh-slapper.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I disagree about where to park when you visit someone. He says you park on the street, always. I say that if I am visiting someone, I should park in their driveway. He says that is rude. Who is correct? -- GINNY IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR GINNY: Since you and your husband can't agree, call the person you are about to visit and ask where it's most convenient for you to park. That way you will avoid an argument and inconvenience no one.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 3 1/2 years, and during that time I have begged him to stop playing "telephone games" with me when he calls me -- especially at work. He will either disguise his voice, or speak to me so low that I can't understand him. Every time I answer with the standard "Hello," he'll respond with "Hello," and this goes on for a few seconds back and forth. It drives me crazy.

How can I get through to him, loud and clear, once and for all, that this irritates me no end? -- TIRED OF PLAYING GAMES IN FORT WORTH

DEAR TIRED: One effective way to send a message is through silence. If the caller does not respond properly after the first "hello," hang up the phone.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)