DEAR ABBY: I know you care passionately about individuals taking steps each day to improve the quality of their lives. Please help me spread the word about improving the health of millions of Americans.

Nearly two out of three Americans are overweight/obese and at risk for diabetes, heart disease and other illnesses associated with obesity. Recent studies from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicate that overweight and obesity may soon surpass tobacco as the leading preventable cause of death in the United States. People need to know that conquering weight gain is more about taking a daily walk around the neighborhood than running a marathon.

Please encourage your readers to see for themselves how small steps can lead to big health benefits. Taking the stairs instead of the escalator, substituting fruit for sweets, and eating only half portions of dessert can add up to giant steps on the path to a healthier life.

Earlier this year, we introduced a program and Web site called Healthy Lifestyles to help individuals and families make healthy choices about their diets and physical activity. The site, www.smallstep.gov, provides hundreds of simple suggested steps to get people started. -- TOMMY G. THOMPSON, SECRETARY, U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES

DEAR SECRETARY THOMPSON: You're right, mail on the subject of obesity does cross my desk. I'm pleased to promote your campaign because I want to do my part in helping my readers help themselves to longer, healthier lives.

It's interesting that you mentioned "steps" to better health, because coincidentally, I received the following a few days before your letter came:

DEAR ABBY: When I hit the scale at 250-plus, my blood sugar shot up and I knew it was finally time to take action. I had read an article about walking 10,000 steps a day and decided to try it. It changed my life.

At first I couldn't walk more than 6,000 steps without hurting all over. It was discouraging, but it was my last hope, so I cut back to a more manageable number of steps and increased gradually -- by about 500 steps a week. After three months, I was finally up to 10,000 steps a day.

I lost a pant size in three months, but there were more benefits: My appetite changed. I enjoy salads, vegetables, fresh fruit, lean meat. I began to discern the difference between being full and being satisfied. I stopped craving food between meals.

It has now been a year, and I have lost more than 40 pounds and increased to 11,000 steps a day. My blood sugar and blood pressure have normalized.

Please, Abby, encourage your readers to check out a 10,000-step program. Information is readily available on the Internet -- just type "10,000 steps" into your browser. The only cost is a good pair of walking shoes and a pedometer. -- LEANER AND HEALTHIER IN NEW YORK

DEAR L AND H: Congratulations for your progress and thanks for sharing your secret. When it comes to exercise, sometimes the hardest step to take is that first one.

Now, I have a favor to ask of Secretary Thompson. Please do Americans a favor and issue government guidelines about what "low carb" means. Too many people are bingeing on "low-carb" products in the belief they can eat unlimited amounts and still lose weight. Some of those products contain more carbs in one serving than a dieter should consume in an entire day, and too much fat as well.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: My problem concerns what to do with a group of snapshots and a bundle of about 100 old love letters that I've hidden for more than 50 years. If they are found after my death, my heirs will be shocked.

I have treasured these mementos in my heart since I received the first, before I was shipped overseas in World War II. The letters continued up to December 1947 -- and in '98 and '99 I received three more that were ultra-special. They are the sincerest of love letters from the girl in the photographs.

Family interference separated us, even as we were planning to be married. Of course, life went on. I met my wife and we were married a few years later, but I could never bring myself to destroy the letters or the photographs.

After half a century, I searched and found my first love. Then in 1999 we were able to locate our son, who was born and placed for adoption after we were separated. The three of us have spent some special time together. Even though we acknowledged that our love was and still is true, we agreed not to upset my marriage.

My wife knows all about this, and accepts my strong need to financially help my "other girl" have a comfortable lifestyle. I love my wife. She is and always will come first in my life. Yet those photos and letters are precious to me.

Genealogically, they are vital family memorabilia, and without anyone knowing, I have placed them with five generations of saved items. They represent an important part of my life with my first love. I cannot find the courage to let them go. Have I done wrong? -- IN LOVE WITH TWO EXCEPTIONAL WOMEN

DEAR IN LOVE: Not from my perspective. This is the 21st century -- not the 1940s. Perhaps it's time to let your children know about their half-brother. After all, this happened before you even met your wife.

An alternative would be to put the keepsakes in a safe deposit box and give one of the keys to your lawyer, with instructions to mail them to your love child after your death. I'm sure your son would treasure having evidence of the love through which he was conceived.

DEAR ABBY: Seven years ago, my husband's "Aunt Selma" lent us $2,000 on our first home. We set up a payment plan and paid her faithfully.

A year later, our first child was born with a heart condition. Aunt Selma came to us and demanded that instead of paying her, we put the money toward the enormous hospital bills. We tried to refuse, but she insisted.

There was never any paperwork, just words spoken out of love -- until recently. Now she wants us to pay back the rest of the money. After all this time, I don't feel that's fair. This is causing a lot of stress in our marriage, and I need some guidance. Please help. -- INDIGNANT IN INDIANA

DEAR INDIGNANT: When you ran into financial hardship because of your child, Aunt Selma tried to lessen your burden. Please don't repay her generosity by withholding her money. She may be asking for it because she needs it now. So reinstate the payment plan and give her what she's due -- and I don't mean just the money.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I usually think your advice is pretty good, but your answer to "Homebody in Norfolk, Va.," who didn't want to travel with her husband, was way off. If she doesn't like to travel, she shouldn't be forced to just because that's what her husband wants. She has every right to live her life the way she wishes, and not be coerced to do something she doesn't like just because she's married.

Travel is not pleasurable to everyone. Flying is a big pain in the butt and can even be harmful to a person's health if he or she is susceptible to deep-vein thrombosis. Hotels are not like home. The beds are uncomfortable, and restaurant food for every meal can be fattening.

You should have recommended instead a session or two of counseling so both parties can get their feelings out in the presence of a neutral party. Maybe then the husband will be more accepting of his wife's preferences. -- M.M. IN KINGSTON, N.Y.

DEAR M.M.: Although I didn't intend to be, you are not the only reader who felt my reaction to "Homebody's" problem was harsh. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You are usually sensitive to problems and concerns, yet you assume that "Homebody" simply refuses to go. I sometimes become panicked just going on errands, out of town, etc. To go to faraway lands promotes whole new fears.

My advice would be for "Homebody" to explain to her husband why she doesn't want to go, and then reach a compromise. If he really wants to spend time with her, I'm sure he won't care where they go. Perhaps they could find a destination that both of them would be happy with.

It hurts to be paralyzed with fears and panic. It may not be hurting their marriage now, but without understanding, it could harm it later. -- STAYING PUT IN TEXAS

DEAR STAYING PUT: Although I am all for compromise, I suspect compromise might be difficult for someone who hungers to visit the game parks in Africa, ride a gondola on the canals in Venice or walk on the Great Wall of China. Since your problem is fears and panic, please read the next letter carefully:

DEAR ABBY: I, too, was a homebody. Now I am divorced. I went to very few restaurants, complained about traffic and crowds, attended no concerts or movies. After nine years of putting up with my phobia, my wife divorced me. I attempted to save our marriage by seeking help from my doctor. He prescribed medication that saved me from becoming a hermit.

Even though my marriage is over, I am doing much better. I now venture out and do things. Through counseling and proper medication I have become a better parent to my 13-year-old son. Please urge "Homebody" to consult her doctor. -- BOB IN INDIANA

DEAR BOB: Thank you for sharing your personal experience. I'm glad to know that you received effective help for your problem and are doing better.

DEAR ABBY: I think "Homebody" was gracious to suggest that her husband go with a friend or family member. I love to travel and so does my husband, but sometimes we don't share the same enthusiasm for a destination. When that happens, we find other travel companions who share our interests and everyone has a good time. This summer my husband went to Greenland while I visited Italy. -- CARLA IN LIVERMORE, CALIF.

DEAR CARLA: Bon voyage!

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