DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Angela," has a boyfriend I'll call Robb. I have an insanely strong crush on him. I am 14, but I am very mature for my age and have unusually intense feelings. Seeing Robb with Angela every day is torture.

The school counselors suggested I immerse myself in something to get my mind off Robb -- sports, drama, my studies -- anything. I tried for months, but it hasn't worked. I can barely function because I'm so miserable and lovesick.

A few days ago, Angela told me she doesn't like Robb as a boyfriend as much as she used to and would really rather be good friends with him. But she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. I want to tell her how I feel about him, but I can't bring myself to do it. What if she laughs at me or tells me he'd never like me? I might kill myself. Please help. I don't know how much longer I can live with this pain. -- LOVESICK IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOVESICK: Speak up! Angela gave you the perfect opening when she said she'd prefer to be good friends with Robb. Don't let your fear of what she "might" say keep you suffering in silence. The only thing worse than caring for someone who doesn't know you're alive is feeling trapped in a relationship with someone you no longer care for.

It's not necessary to tell Angela that you're so lovesick you can't function. Just let her know that if she wants to date others, you'll be happy to console Robb. Then cross your fingers and make yourself available if he wants a shoulder to cry on.

P.S. If he does, be sure to tell him jokingly what a foolish girl you think Angela is to let go of someone as special as he is. He'll think you are intelligent and insightful, and you'll be off and running!

DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine recently wrote and self-published a book. It is comprised of anecdotes, poems and short essays. She asked if I liked it, and I (coward that I am) told her I liked a couple of the stories and thought the book was quite good. I lied. The book is horrible. I thought it was just me -- but when I shared it with a few others, they felt the same way.

Much of what she wrote reflects strong negativity about her job as a social worker, the people she's there to help, and the children she taught as a substitute teacher.

I want to tell her my true feelings, but everybody tells me to keep quiet. That may not be fair to her. She's starting another book, and I think she should know the truth. How can I tell her without hurting her feelings or insulting her? Her friendship means a lot to me. -- 'LIL WHITE LIE

DEAR 'LIL: Writing her thoughts and feelings may be your friend's mechanism for venting her frustrations, and it's a healthy one. I see nothing to be gained by discouraging her. Because you and your friends didn't care for her book doesn't mean no one will. Since her friendship means a lot to you, mum's the word.

DEAR ABBY: I say that the names used in your column in quotation marks are fictitious. My husband disagrees; he insists that the letters you print are exactly as written and the quotation marks don't mean a thing. Who is right? -- NEEDS TO KNOW, PAHOKEE, FLA.

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: You are. I make it a practice to change the names that appear in the body of the letters that appear in my column. However, if a name is used in the signature, it's because the writer has given me express permission to do so.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing about the letter you printed from "Fed Up in Richmond, Texas," whose husband's idea of an evening out or a day off is getting drunk. I hope she takes your advice to go to Al-Anon.

I fell in love and married a man who exhibited similar drinking behavior. It became worse during the 20 years we were together. I was verbally abused, humiliated and, at the end, feared for my safety as well as the children's.

I was very naive. He convinced me that I was crazy, threatened my family and threatened to take off with the children if I left. At age 40, I finally found the courage and strength to do it.

It took lots of counseling, but I now understand that I was caught up in his sickness. I regret that I wasted my youth on this man. I hope "Fed Up" opens her eyes and won't be caught up like I was in what domestic violence counselors call "the honeymoon cycle." That's where you bring his behavior to his attention, he promises he'll change, it's a great month or so -- and then he starts drinking again. I look back over those years and see a bad movie filled with heartache for me and my children.

It wasn't easy, but it has been worth it. I am now treated with the love and respect I deserve. My children and I are happier than we've ever been. I'm a stronger person now, and we're blessed with a wonderful man who saw us through outrageous court battles, restraining orders, stalking and intimidation tactics.

"Fed Up" deserves love and respect, too. But she and her child won't get it from her spouse if she doesn't DEMAND it. I wish her strength, courage and no regrets. -- REBORN IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR REBORN: I, too, hope that "Fed Up" will take your letter to heart and find help before her husband's problem escalates to the point that your husband's did. Addiction problems cannot be ignored. If the problem isn't addressed, it doesn't "level off"; it grows worse until the addiction takes over the lives of everyone around the addict. I'm pleased that you finally found the strength to free yourself and your children. Thank you for writing.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and my name is "Pearl." I just found out that I might have chlamydia. I really like this guy and I need to know if I should tell him. What should I do? I am a little scared. Please answer soon. -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN LANCASTER, CALIF.

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: You should be examined by a doctor right away. If you do indeed have chlamydia, your partner must be notified so he can also be treated.

Ask your mother to schedule an appointment for you. If you cannot talk to her about this, then call the county health department and ask for the location of the nearest clinic where you can be treated confidentially. DO NOT PUT IT OFF. If you have chlamydia and aren't treated, it could cause fertility problems for you in the future.

Since you are sexually active, it is important that you learn to protect yourself against an unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases so that you are not reinfected or infect others.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 19 and pregnant with my first child. The father, whom I married, turned out to be far different from the person I thought he was when I met him. I left him when I was around four months along because he was starving me and wouldn't let me leave the house.

Since then, he has been arrested for possession of child pornography, and I have discovered that he is a satanist. I am terrified of him. I know I'm lucky to be alive and not to have lost the baby, which I almost did.

I am filing for divorce, but I have no idea how to keep this monster away from my baby. He has threatened to kill me and take the baby if I don't go back to him. He follows me around and sits outside my home late at night. I have applied for a lawyer, but I have no job and no money.

Are there any organizations that can help someone in my position? How do I get my husband to quit threatening me and leave me alone? -- SCARED IN TEXAS

DEAR SCARED: The first thing you should do is file a police report stating, for the record, that you are being stalked and threatened. Since your husband has already been arrested for child pornography, it could be only a matter of time until he is convicted and sent away. In the meantime, call the Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233. If necessary, the people there can help you find shelter to keep you and your baby safe.

DEAR ABBY: An outside vendor came to the place where I worked and made lewd comments to me.

When I learned that he would be the person training me on the new software I'd be using for the promotion I had just received -- my second promotion in two years -- I reported the incident to my immediate supervisor. Within four working days, I was demoted, publicly humiliated, and felt forced to turn in my resignation.

I had signed a sexual harassment agreement with my bosses that I would report any incident to them. Should I have kept my mouth shut? Do I have any recourse? -- HUMILIATED IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR HUMILIATED: The vendor's actions were out of line, and you were right to report him. If I were you, I'd discuss what happened with an attorney who specializes in labor law -- preferably a female.

DEAR ABBY: I am 13 and live in a small town. I need to know something: Is boredom normal? I got up one morning and realized how bored I am. I don't mean bored with nothing to do. I am bored with myself and my daily routine.

I'm not especially sad, just bored with life itself -- the people I see every day, the town I live in, the way I look, my boyfriend, my room, going to school -- "same old, same old."

I want this feeling to go away. What can I do? -- RESTLESS TEEN IN MARYLAND

DEAR RESTLESS: Talk to your parents about involving yourself in a new activity, preferably one where you will meet new people. Visit the library and ask the librarian to suggest some books to expand your range of interests.

Everyone feels the way you do at one time or another. The solution is to dwell less on yourself and more on the needs of other people.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)