DEAR ABBY: I'm writing about the letter you printed from "Fed Up in Richmond, Texas," whose husband's idea of an evening out or a day off is getting drunk. I hope she takes your advice to go to Al-Anon.

I fell in love and married a man who exhibited similar drinking behavior. It became worse during the 20 years we were together. I was verbally abused, humiliated and, at the end, feared for my safety as well as the children's.

I was very naive. He convinced me that I was crazy, threatened my family and threatened to take off with the children if I left. At age 40, I finally found the courage and strength to do it.

It took lots of counseling, but I now understand that I was caught up in his sickness. I regret that I wasted my youth on this man. I hope "Fed Up" opens her eyes and won't be caught up like I was in what domestic violence counselors call "the honeymoon cycle." That's where you bring his behavior to his attention, he promises he'll change, it's a great month or so -- and then he starts drinking again. I look back over those years and see a bad movie filled with heartache for me and my children.

It wasn't easy, but it has been worth it. I am now treated with the love and respect I deserve. My children and I are happier than we've ever been. I'm a stronger person now, and we're blessed with a wonderful man who saw us through outrageous court battles, restraining orders, stalking and intimidation tactics.

"Fed Up" deserves love and respect, too. But she and her child won't get it from her spouse if she doesn't DEMAND it. I wish her strength, courage and no regrets. -- REBORN IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR REBORN: I, too, hope that "Fed Up" will take your letter to heart and find help before her husband's problem escalates to the point that your husband's did. Addiction problems cannot be ignored. If the problem isn't addressed, it doesn't "level off"; it grows worse until the addiction takes over the lives of everyone around the addict. I'm pleased that you finally found the strength to free yourself and your children. Thank you for writing.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and my name is "Pearl." I just found out that I might have chlamydia. I really like this guy and I need to know if I should tell him. What should I do? I am a little scared. Please answer soon. -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN LANCASTER, CALIF.

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: You should be examined by a doctor right away. If you do indeed have chlamydia, your partner must be notified so he can also be treated.

Ask your mother to schedule an appointment for you. If you cannot talk to her about this, then call the county health department and ask for the location of the nearest clinic where you can be treated confidentially. DO NOT PUT IT OFF. If you have chlamydia and aren't treated, it could cause fertility problems for you in the future.

Since you are sexually active, it is important that you learn to protect yourself against an unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases so that you are not reinfected or infect others.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 19 and pregnant with my first child. The father, whom I married, turned out to be far different from the person I thought he was when I met him. I left him when I was around four months along because he was starving me and wouldn't let me leave the house.

Since then, he has been arrested for possession of child pornography, and I have discovered that he is a satanist. I am terrified of him. I know I'm lucky to be alive and not to have lost the baby, which I almost did.

I am filing for divorce, but I have no idea how to keep this monster away from my baby. He has threatened to kill me and take the baby if I don't go back to him. He follows me around and sits outside my home late at night. I have applied for a lawyer, but I have no job and no money.

Are there any organizations that can help someone in my position? How do I get my husband to quit threatening me and leave me alone? -- SCARED IN TEXAS

DEAR SCARED: The first thing you should do is file a police report stating, for the record, that you are being stalked and threatened. Since your husband has already been arrested for child pornography, it could be only a matter of time until he is convicted and sent away. In the meantime, call the Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233. If necessary, the people there can help you find shelter to keep you and your baby safe.

DEAR ABBY: An outside vendor came to the place where I worked and made lewd comments to me.

When I learned that he would be the person training me on the new software I'd be using for the promotion I had just received -- my second promotion in two years -- I reported the incident to my immediate supervisor. Within four working days, I was demoted, publicly humiliated, and felt forced to turn in my resignation.

I had signed a sexual harassment agreement with my bosses that I would report any incident to them. Should I have kept my mouth shut? Do I have any recourse? -- HUMILIATED IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR HUMILIATED: The vendor's actions were out of line, and you were right to report him. If I were you, I'd discuss what happened with an attorney who specializes in labor law -- preferably a female.

DEAR ABBY: I am 13 and live in a small town. I need to know something: Is boredom normal? I got up one morning and realized how bored I am. I don't mean bored with nothing to do. I am bored with myself and my daily routine.

I'm not especially sad, just bored with life itself -- the people I see every day, the town I live in, the way I look, my boyfriend, my room, going to school -- "same old, same old."

I want this feeling to go away. What can I do? -- RESTLESS TEEN IN MARYLAND

DEAR RESTLESS: Talk to your parents about involving yourself in a new activity, preferably one where you will meet new people. Visit the library and ask the librarian to suggest some books to expand your range of interests.

Everyone feels the way you do at one time or another. The solution is to dwell less on yourself and more on the needs of other people.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: "Mr. Eugene" has been my hairdresser for nearly 20 years. We have seen each other through divorces, deaths, recovery from alcoholism (me), and life struggles in general. Mr. Eugene used to be a great hairdresser. The problem began when he installed a little television set at his station. He keeps it on all the time and watches it almost constantly. He watches it while cutting my hair, pausing every so often to pay closer attention to what's on TV.

The quality of my haircuts has started to decline, and along with it, our client/hairdresser relationship. I'm about ready to change hairdressers because I can't find the nerve to reach over and turn the darn thing off or tell him how annoying it is, and how much better a hairdresser he is when he pays full attention to what he's doing.

Please print this so Mr. Eugene will read it and give his clients the attention we deserve. -- SPINELESS IN LEXINGTON, KY.

DEAR SPINELESS: Mr. Eugene is only a hairdresser. He is not a mind reader. Since you haven't voiced an objection to his cutting and styling your hair with one eye on the boob-tube, how can he be expected to know you have a problem with it?

Try this: Rather than criticize him, tell him that you would prefer that he leave the TV set off while working on you, because you miss the quality time you used to spend together. You might be surprised to find that he takes it as a compliment.

DEAR ABBY: I became engaged last Christmas. I have been planning my wedding with the help of my mother and my fiance's mother. I love them both, and they are helping to pay for my big day.

My problem is that every time I disagree with them, they call me "Bridezilla." I don't think I'm too demanding or hard to please. I just have ideas, tastes and expectations that may be different from my two mothers'.

This horrible stereotype is ruining the planning. I become devastated when they refer to me in that way, and end up giving in so I don't seem to be unreasonable.

Please help me. I am ending up with a wedding that isn't what I want. What should I do? -- NOT BRIDEZILLA IN L.A.

DEAR NOT BRIDEZILLA: It is wrong of your mother and your fiance's mother to call you names. However, since they are helping to fund the wedding, you can't blame them for wanting a meaningful voice in the planning. If you feel your dream wedding has been hijacked, then you should politely draw the line and finance it yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a live-in relationship with a man I'll call Howard. Last year, I began quietly seeing "Adam." Howard found out about the affair a few months later, but didn't want us to break up.

I decided to stay with Howard even though I am in love with Adam, because I can't support myself on my own. After that, Adam decided it would be best if we stopped seeing each other. I know he's right, but I'd really like to talk to him. Right now, I'm agonizing over whether to call him.

When I ask my family or friends for advice, they say I should move on and get over Adam, because I'm only 21 and have my whole life ahead of me. The truth is, I can't let go so easily. It has been about four months since we last spoke. Should I call Adam, and if I do, what should I say? -- CLUELESS IN VEGAS

DEAR CLUELESS: Listen to your family and friends; they have your best interests at heart. In the meantime, I strongly recommend that you take a breather before going another round with anyone. Do not call Adam until you have left Howard and become self-supporting. That way, he will know you are not after him for a meal ticket, too.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)