DEAR ABBY: I found my dog, "Belle," last year at the pound. We bonded instantly and I knew I had to take her. She was sweet, funny and fearless.

I remembered the truck commercials on TV where the message was dogs love trucks. Belle was no exception. The day I bought my used pickup, she hopped into the bed and was ready to go. It seemed that half the vehicles I saw growing up were old pickups with dogs -- always unrestrained.

At first, there were short trips to the store or on a back road. But after a month, we got more adventurous. Sometimes Belle would get excited and lean over and snap at passing cars. That should have warned me, but at the time I thought it was funny. It never occurred to me to be concerned. Not until she fell out.

I watched in the mirror as she tumbled to the road. Belle survived the fall and started to get up, but before she could get out of the way, an oncoming car hit her.

It was stupid, awful and completely unexpected. And it could have been prevented. A simple harness, or better yet, keeping my beautiful Belle in the cab would have saved her life.

Now, because of a stupid, macho image I had of a man, his dog and his truck, I have lost a beloved friend. Please, Abby, warn your readers that if they have a pet they care about, not to allow it to ride unrestrained in a truck bed. -- GRIEVING IN LEXINGTON, KY.

DEAR GRIEVING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your beloved pet. I'm printing your reminder for the benefit of other pet owners, but I would like to extend it. I frequently see young children standing on the seats of vehicles driven by their mothers, while Mom chats away on her cell phone. I have also seen pets and people riding unrestrained in the back of open trucks. It takes only a moment for an accident to happen. These kinds of accidents can be life-altering or fatal. So please, folks, use a little restraint -- the kind that buckles.

DEAR ABBY: I recently relocated to live near my son, "Gary," and his girlfriend, "Gina." Gary supports Gina and her three children, and talks constantly about marrying her and adopting the kids. Gary believes that Gina will marry him one day, but she has confided to me that once she finishes college and starts her career, she does not see herself married to my son.

I'm torn between telling Gary the truth and hurting him (not to mention damaging our relationship), or letting him find out in two years that he has been seriously used. -- TORN MOM IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TORN: Talk to Gina and urge her to level with your son. If she refuses, then you must do it. If he finds out in two years that you knew all along that he was being used and said nothing, it will be more damaging to your relationship than if you tell him the truth now. He won't like hearing it, but you must tell him what Gina told you. If he were my son, I would.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Don," took a construction job with some friends he's worked with before. Almost every night after work, they sit at the site and drink beer.

The commute from our house is about 12 miles, and I have pointed out to Don that his drinking and driving is unwise. He agreed. One beer here and there doesn't bother me, but Don has been coming home pretty drunk every other night. I'm really concerned.

Last night, Don promised to come home right after work this evening and spend some time with me. He pulled in about 8:00 with a buddy from work. Both of them were drunk.

Don claimed he didn't remember the promise, and he and his buddy proceeded to eat the special supper I had prepared for US. I am hurt, angry and probably stupid, because I let Don leave so he could drive his friend home. When he returned 15 minutes later, he came in and went straight to bed. No "goodnight," no "I love you."

I wouldn't be so upset if it had been any other night. But he had promised me tonight would be special because it's our anniversary. Do you think I'm overreacting? I don't want a husband who's a drunk. -- HURT IN OHIO

DEAR HURT: You may not want one, but you appear to have one. You would be doing all concerned a favor if you quietly let his boss know there's drinking going on after hours at the job site, because should an accident occur, the company may be liable.

If the anniversary incident isn't enough to embarrass your husband into getting help, the alternative is for you to look in the phone book for Al-Anon meetings and attend them. There you will learn how not to be an enabler, and that no one can "save" a drinker except the drinker. I wish you luck, dear lady, because you're about to get one heck of an education.

DEAR ABBY: "Denny" and I have been married about a year. Everything was great -- we are very much alike. My problem is we both have water jugs that we use for our spare change. I started taking money out of Denny's and spending it. I was planning to replace it as soon as I got a little ahead.

Well, Denny came home one night and counted his savings and saw that I had taken more than $250 out of his jug. I am paying him back -- and he has sort of forgiven me -- but every chance he gets, he lashes out. He calls me a thief and curses at me.

I know it's a lot of money, but I'm his wife. I want to cry whenever I think about it. Will he ever get over this and let things go back to normal?

I'm depressed and angry at myself for what I did. I just don't know if things will ever be the way they were. Your thoughts will be greatly appreciated. -- THE UNFORGIVEN IN N.H.

DEAR UNFORGIVEN: OK -- the honeymoon is over and the illusions are tarnished. What you did was wrong, but so is cursing one's spouse and nursing a grudge. Since you are repaying the money, it's time to ask your husband why he seems unable to forgive.

One of the secrets to a happy marriage is learning to forgive each other. If yours is going to work, the two of you must accept that neither of you is perfect and learn to negotiate beyond your disagreements. Some sessions with the clergyperson who married you could be helpful. If that doesn't resolve the conflict, consult a marriage counselor.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of more than a year and I broke up about a month ago. While the split was sudden, I understood his reasons for wanting to end the relationship, and we're still good friends.

Recently, a guy at work expressed an interest in me, and we have made out a few times. This guy is extremely forward, likes to move quickly, and has made it clear that his interest is only physical. I can't seem to find the willpower to tell him to leave me alone. I keep associating with him to fill the void that was left when my boyfriend and I parted ways. He is pushing more and more to see me alone, and I'm running out of excuses.

I know what I'm doing isn't right, but the feeling of being desired is something I don't want to lose again. Can you please help me sort out this mess? -- TORN IN TWO

DEAR TORN: That little voice that's telling you what you're doing isn't right is your intuition. It is trying to steer you in the right direction. When an affair at the office ends, it can be painful and embarrassing to be confronted every day with the ghost of romance past, so take my advice and don't do it.

Tell the office Romeo to slow down -- he's moving too fast. If he has any respect for you, he will back off.

DEAR ABBY: I love to bake, and I have heard for years that when baking or cooking with wine or liquor, the alcohol burns off.

I have a cupcake recipe that contains one-half cup of coffee liqueur and yields 30 cupcakes. They were baked at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

One of my co-workers, after having one cupcake, told everyone that she was sure the cupcake had made her drunk. She even had slurred speech! She did not appear to be joking, and continued talking about it for several days afterward.

Is this possible? -- THE NEW OFFICE BARTENDER, QUINCY, CALIF.

DEAR BARTENDER: Yes, it is. I posed your question to Sherry Yard, pastry chef at Spago in Beverly Hills. Sherry told me that when the liqueur is put directly into the batter, not all of it burns off -- which means people with a sensitivity to alcohol should not eat those cupcakes.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I adopted two daughters from China. They are now 3 and 4 years old. Time and again, people ask if the girls are "real sisters."

My daughters are proud to be Chinese, and they know each other only as sisters. In time, they will understand the circumstances surrounding their birth. An adopted child from China has no means of finding any history about his/her birth parents.

What do you recommend answering when we're asked if the girls are "real sisters"? -- LUCKY MOM IN MICHIGAN

DEAR LUCKY MOM: There seems to be no limit to the questions people feel entitled to ask when they see families who are multiracial. Your daughters became "real sisters" the minute you adopted them, and I see no reason why you should tell anyone otherwise.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)