DEAR ABBY: I read the letter from "I Have a Dream," the 13-year-old girl who wants to be president of the United States, while en route to meet with our state assemblyman and senator. I have never written a Dear Abby letter before; however, that girl's letter touched my heart. I am angry she is being ridiculed.

When I was in elementary school and told people that I wanted to be a doctor, they told me that my dream was also impossible. There were few women doctors then. We were poor, so I started my career in nursing school. I worked my way through college and medical school. Today, I am not only a doctor, but also a teacher in medical school.

Please tell that young girl to ignore those who are jealous of her and to strive for her goals. She can do it!

Today, I met a young man in his 20s. He is the legislative director to Sen. Nick Spano of the New York state Senate. I asked his advice for "I Have a Dream." He said:

(1) First, do not listen to those who laugh at you or don't support you.

(2) Stay involved in your knowledge of current events.

(3) Read the newspaper.

(4) Become involved in your community. This is how you meet people. You may be able to volunteer for someone during this election year.

(5) Run for school office/student government.

It is also a good idea to have a mentor -- someone in government or politics -- and always stay in touch with him or her.

As I was leaving the New York State Capitol building, there was an exhibit showing photographs of women in New York state senior government positions. They numbered 47!

I hope this inspires that girl and gives her the courage to follow her dream. I wish her all the best -- and hope she'll let us know when she runs for her first office. -- FRANCES MCGILL, M.D., BRONXVILLE, N.Y.

DEAR DR. MCGILL: I concur with you on all points. Bless you for the wonderful pep talk. I'm betting your letter inspires many more young women than the one who wrote. You're a wonderful role model. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: This message is for the little girl who dreams of being president. I saw a bumper sticker once that should encourage her: "A woman's place is in the House ... the Senate ... and the Oval Office." -- FEMINIST IN AUBURN, ALA.

DEAR FEMINIST: I agree. A woman's place is wherever she wants to be, and feels she can make a contribution.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 11, I decided I wanted to be an astronaut. Peers and adults laughed. They said I was silly to think a girl (and a poor one at that) could ever become an astronaut or even study science.

Due to vision problems, I never became an astronaut. But I did earn a Ph.D. in a scientific field. I am a tenured professor at a research-oriented university. So, who's laughing now? I am! -- RHONDA A. HYDE, Ph.D.

DEAR DR. HYDE: And I'm laughing with you. A woman can travel as far as her dream can take her -- and sometimes even beyond. More on this subject tomorrow.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman physician in a small city. My husband is also a physician in the same practice. We have a lovely family, and both of us love our work. We donate time and resources to our community, including free medical care to people who are homeless and the working poor, and money to worthy causes. We are blessed with a wonderful life.

So why am I writing? Because I do not know how to handle a sensitive situation. Our community becomes angry when we refuse to donate to each and every cause. Abby, we give all we can; however, we are early in our careers and are still paying off our loans from medical school.

We live modestly and within our means. We love our community and want our neighbors to know that we, too, are on a budget. Most physicians have seen drastic pay cuts with increased liability, hours and overhead. Unfortunately, many doctors have left the field to pursue technology jobs with higher salaries and fewer hours. Medical schools have watched the business world lure our best and brightest into lucrative careers with less liability. Please enlighten people through your column.

I hope this letter is legible. I wrote it by hand, because I didn't want the office manager to see this on the computer. -- ANONYMOUS FAMILY DOC IN THE USA

DEAR ANONYMOUS DOC: A wise and street-smart man once observed that no one has as much money as other people assume he does. One reason for it is that everyone has a silent partner -- the tax man. And everyone is aware of the effect that managed care has had on the medical community.

For your neighbors to become angry when you cannot donate to each and every cause is wrong. When it comes to charitable giving, like everything else, people must prioritize. There are many worthy causes, and it is impossible to give to all of them. You can't please everyone, so stop allowing people who sulk to lay a guilt trip on you.

Remind your neighbors that you give in ways other than money. Continue to do your best. You have much to be proud of, and your community is lucky to have you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away four years ago. About two years ago, a dear friend, "Hugh," lost his wife. Hugh and I went on two dates and hit it off. He told me he loved me and always had. I have a deep affection for him. Nine months after his wife passed away, we moved in together and have been living together ever since.

Hugh and I are happy, but I would like to be married. At first, he asked me to give him time to deal with his loss. A year ago, he confessed that he had made a deathbed promise to his late wife that he would not marry again. He wants to see her in the afterlife.

Christianity says there is no marriage in heaven. Even though we may see loved ones there, we wouldn't be married. Hugh says he's working on getting past this, but I am beginning to think he may never let go of the baggage he's carrying.

I want a life with Hugh. I am trying to be patient, but I feel he has let me down. Have you any advice for a forlorn person? -- GROWING IMPATIENT IN RICHMOND

DEAR GROWING: Hugh should have leveled with you from the beginning. Had he done so, you would have been better informed before setting up housekeeping with him. As it stands, he is enjoying all the benefits of marriage without any of the responsibilities, and that is unfair to you.

If it's marriage you want, be prepared to move out. Hugh has some important decisions to make -- and he may not make them until he feels your absence.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am writing regarding the letter from "Grossed Out in Florida," the 18-year-old waitress who is subject to lewd remarks and repeatedly asked out by much older men at her workplace. Please urge her to inform her supervisors that she's being sexually harassed, because her employer has a responsibility to stop the harassment. If possible, she should put her concerns in writing and keep a copy of the letter. If management refuses to address her concerns, she should contact an attorney or legal organization for more information about her rights.

Young women and girls in the hospitality industries are often targets of sexual harassment that is believed to be "just part of the job." These situations may escalate into stalking and other forms of violence. Being "friendly," "polite," and telling a harasser that he reminds you of "someone very special" -- even if it is her grandfather -- is NOT a way to stop sexual harassment in the workplace.

Please encourage your readers to identify sexual harassment and to understand that they have legal rights. Equal Rights Advocates (ERA) provides free legal advice and information about gender discrimination concerns in employment and education, including sexual harassment, pregnancy discrimination, family medical leave, pay equity and retaliation for complaining about these issues. ERA's Legal Advice and Counseling Hotline can be reached at (800) 839-4372. -- IRMA D. HERRERA, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR IRMA: Thank you for sharing this important resource. I predict your hotline will be inundated. And I apologize for making light of the problem. Sexual harassment isn't a laughing matter, especially to the target. Readers, ERa also has a Web site: www.equalrights.org. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: "Grossed Out in Florida" asked where older men "get the idea" they can date much younger women. For the answer to that question one need only look at the nearest movie theater marquee:

Harrison Ford (61) with Michelle Pfeiffer (45), Kristin Scott Thomas (43) or Anne Heche (34) -- a 16- to 27-year age gap.

Michael Douglas (59) with Famke Janssen (38), Frances McDormand (46) or Gwyneth Paltrow (31) -- a 13- to 28-year age gap.

Steve Martin (58) with Bonnie Hunt (39), Jean Smart (44) or Helena Bonham Carter (37) -- a 14- to 21-year age gap.

All of these relationships are presented as perfectly normal. Also, consider the fuss that was made about Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton in "Something's Gotta Give." How NICE it was to see contemporaries as a love interest! In reality, Diane is nine years younger than Jack. It's no wonder these men think that young girls will be interested because, hey, if it can happen in the movies, it can happen in real life, right? -- REALITY CHECKER, GURNEE, ILL.

DEAR REALITY CHECKER: Not only can it happen in real life -- it has: Humphrey Bogart married Lauren Bacall, Michael Douglas married Catherine Zeta-Jones, Warren Beatty married Annette Bening, Kevin Costner just married Christine Baumgartner, Harrison Ford is dating Calista Flockhart. And the reverse can be true: Let's not forget Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher!

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)