DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letter from "Worried Sick in Alabama," whose mother was about to give money to a known con man. The same thing happened to my mother, who didn't stop "lending" money until $67,000 was gone.

The district attorney, two police departments and an attorney who specializes in elder issues sympathized with me, but no one could do anything. They told me, in effect, that as long as people are mentally competent, they can do whatever they want with their own money. Trusting, naive and misguided do not constitute incompetence.

Finally, I hired a private detective who found pending felony theft charges and other incriminating facts about the guy who was conning my mother. I believe she was persuaded more by the fact I hired a private detective than by what he dug up. She did quit writing checks, but I live in constant fear that some other con artist will find her.

I encourage "Worried" to find some way to invest her mother's money so that Mom won't have instant access to it. If possible, she should be convinced to let her daughter pay her bills for her, and set up a checking account where two signatures are required.

This is a difficult and, I suspect, widespread problem. I don't know what the answer is, because it includes issues of dignity and self-worth, as well as independence. I know elderly people who have lost their good judgment, and will lose their ability to pay their own way because of it. -- STILL WORRIED IN ALABAMA

DEAR STILL WORRIED: Perhaps the next letter will ease your mind. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: We at the National Center on Elder Abuse read the tragic letter from "Worried Sick in Alabama." Sadly, her story illustrates how financial crimes pose a growing threat to the well-being and independence of our "greatest generation."

It is cause for concern when a senior grants unusual access or control of his or her assets to another person in suspicious circumstances. A challenge in detecting this is that victims may be reluctant to reveal financial abuse or accuse their abuser out of fear of retaliation or losing their independence. They may also feel embarrassed or reluctant to get the perpetrator in trouble.

In addition to consulting an attorney and contacting law enforcement, our advice is to report concerns to Adult Protective Services, the long-term care ombudsman or the state attorney general's office. Call the Eldercare Locator, a public service of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration of Aging, at (800) 677-1116 (Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. EST) to quickly find the numbers of your local agencies. To learn more about how to prevent, recognize or respond to elder abuse, neglect or exploitation, please visit our Web site at www.elderabusecenter.org.

Thank you, Abby, for helping millions of American seniors with your informative and sensitive advice. -- AMY HANLEY, NATIONAL CENTER ON ELDER ABUSE

DEAR AMY: Thank you for a helpful letter; you will never know how many people you have helped today. It breaks my heart that these services are necessary, but I'm grateful that you are there to protect vulnerable seniors from predators.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 54-year-old married man with two wonderful children. Two months ago, I was diagnosed with colon cancer. That was the first shock. Then I learned that I would need to have part of my colon removed and would have a permanent colostomy. I was devastated.

I had the surgery and am healing, but I don't know how to get on with my life. I need more help with self-care than my doctor can give me. I also have questions about intimacy, returning to my career and participating in activities with my family.

Is there any place I can find support from other people who have had this kind of surgery? I feel so alone. -- B.J. IN GEORGIA

DEAR B.J.: You are not alone. There are an estimated 750,000 people with ostomies in the United States, and I am told that number increases by about 65,000 each year. One of them is a woman who works out with me at my gym -- and believe me, she lives a very full life and misses out on nothing in her business or personal life.

You should contact the United Ostomy Association Inc. It's a nonprofit organization whose mission is to provide education, information and support for people who have had ostomy or related surgeries. There are many resources available for you. Call the toll-free number, (800) 826-0826, between 7:30 a.m. and 5 p.m. PST. An individual will answer your call and provide ostomy information and referrals to local support chapters and special-interest networks. The UOA Web site is www.uoa.org. It contains information about different types of surgeries, ostomy management tips, patient discussion boards, organizational activities, and links to sources for ostomy products.

Please don't procrastinate about contacting them. It will make a positive difference in your rehabilitation and help you to return more quickly to a full, productive life.

DEAR ABBY: I am 12 years old, and I am the only male I know who reads your column. There is no reason for us guys not to, because you give unconditional advice. You help us see different views from our own, just like you do with females. So don't be afraid, guys -- read it! -- READS EVERYTHING

DEAR READS: Bless you for the endorsement, but I have a flash for you -- males of every age read my column. (They just don't always tell each other about it.)

I'm pleased you are an enthusiastic reader. If I could give younger people one piece of advice, it would be: Read, read, read! In reading, you will open up new worlds, real and imagined. Read for information; read for pleasure. Our libraries are filled with knowledge and joy, and it's all there -- free for the taking. A person who does not read is no better off than the person who CANNOT read.

DEAR ABBY: The advice you gave "Afraid for the Children" concerning the two 5-year-old girls walking home alone was correct.

I should know. I am a police officer. Those two little girls are definitely in danger walking home alone. Five-year-olds are extremely vulnerable to predators and traffic violators. It is important for concerned adults to safeguard children. Calling the police for assistance is vital, as an investigation is necessary to see why those children have been put in such a dangerous situation.

Don't wait until it's too late and children are abducted or hit by a speeding car. When it comes to children, it is always better to be safe than sorry. -- BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

DEAR BETTER: Amen!

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY JEWISH READERS: Happy Passover!

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: Easter is coming. Many families still purchase live rabbits as pets for their children. Parents often think rabbits are good "starter" pets and don't understand what they are getting themselves into. As a result, too many of these poor creatures end up in animal shelters, and children learn that pets are disposable.

Before getting rabbits, people should consider:

(1) Are they willing to make a 7- to 10-year commitment? That is the average lifespan of a rabbit.

(2) What will happen if their child gets bored with the bunny after six months?

(3) Is there a place in their house for a rabbit cage?

(4) Are they willing to pay to get it spayed/neutered and provide vet care?

(5) Do they know that most rabbits hate to be held? Will their child accept that?

(6) Are they willing to ensure that children under 7 won't pick up the rabbit without supervision? Rabbits are fragile; their legs or spine will break if accidentally dropped.

(7) Can they provide three hours of exercise every day in an escape-proof area outside its cage?

(8) Do the adults want the rabbit, too? A rabbit should be a family pet.

If people have questions about rabbits and their care, please ask them to contact my organization. We are happy to answer questions. Our Web site is www.rabbitnetwork.org and our phone number is (781) 431-1211.

Finally, if a rabbit is right for you and your family, please adopt one from a shelter or rescue group. You enrich your family with a new member and also teach your kids the value of saving a life. Thank you. -- SUZANNE TRAYHAN, PRESIDENT, HOUSE RABBIT NETWORK

DEAR SUZANNE: The topic of bunnies, baby chicks and ducklings as Easter gifts is one that recurs every year. I hear from people who work in animal shelters deploring the fact that the helpless little creatures are later dumped when they cease to be novelties. I hope readers will take to heart what you have written, particularly the suggestion that if a rabbit is going to be adopted, a shelter or rescue group can be an excellent resource.

DEAR ABBY: "Paul" and I have been dating for about 10 months. He is wonderful. He is going through a divorce because throughout his 20-year marriage, he was unfaithful to his wife. Paul swears he will never cheat on me because I am exactly what he has been looking for.

Paul's friends are cheaters, too, and frankly, I'm worried he will eventually stray, no matter what he says now.

Recently Paul asked me to move in with him. I am 32 and he's 46. Do you think because he's older now he will really be able to change? -- LOVING AN EX-CHEATER

DEAR LOVING: No, I do not. And birds of a feather flock together. Listen to your intuition. Instead of moving in, move on.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)