DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Chuck," and I have been married going on five years. He's a long-haul truck driver.
Three weeks ago, he asked me for a divorce because he's been cheating on me with a long-haul lady driver I'll call Annabelle. The next weekend, he came home and we were together like nothing happened.
The weekend after that, Chuck said he's decided to hold off on the divorce until he can straighten out his head. He says he's depressed and unhappy, that he still loves me, but he doesn't know what he wants. Before he left on his new job -- driving with Annabelle -- he put his wedding ring back on. Then Chuck made a comment I still don't understand. He said that she was happy he did it.
Chuck says I have to lose my stomach and firm up my breasts, but that is easier said than done at 40. Before we got married, I was a size 24. Now I'm a size 16, so where does he get off saying I'm too fat?
Some of my friends say Chuck is going through a midlife crisis because he'll be 45 in a couple of months. I don't know what to do anymore. My head says to file for divorce and get on with my life. My heart says to wait a couple of months. I love him deeply even though he ripped my heart to pieces and destroyed what little self-esteem I had left. Please help. -- HURT AND CONFUSED IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR HURT AND CONFUSED: Hold off on that divorce. It appears your husband's spirits are sagging more than your stomach and breasts. His problem could be a midlife crisis or depression -- but whatever it is, he needs to speak to his doctor and stop projecting his problems onto you.
P.S. He should also change driving partners. If I were you, I'd demand it.