DEAR ABBY: I am 23 and single. I am always hearing about women suffering from midlife crises, but have you ever heard of a mid-20s one? My single friends and I all seem to have the same problem. We are out of college and beyond our days of "flings." So why is it that while we are ready to settle down and meet someone, the men our age act like they are still in college? Is there anywhere I can meet someone mature AND my age? Should I go to church to find someone, like my mom says? Look to older men? Or am I doomed 'til I'm over 30? -- RORY IN CAMBRIDGE, MASS.
DEAR RORY: In the 1950s, "success" for girls was defined as marrying early and having children. Since then, however, more women have jobs and careers, and it is not unusual for men and women to get graduate degrees before thinking about marriage. Couple that with the fact that an adolescent mentality seems to have stretched beyond the teens into the mid-to-late 20s, and it's not surprising that many young men do not feel ready to commit.
You may have to expand your horizons a bit in the age department if you want to settle down now. Consider someone in his late 20s. Then go where like-minded people gather: graduate school, special-interest clubs, volunteer organizations, square or line dancing, church or a political-action group.
Remember that it's important to take the time to really get to know someone before you give your heart -- or anything else.