DEAR ABBY: I am 23 and single. I am always hearing about women suffering from midlife crises, but have you ever heard of a mid-20s one? My single friends and I all seem to have the same problem. We are out of college and beyond our days of "flings." So why is it that while we are ready to settle down and meet someone, the men our age act like they are still in college? Is there anywhere I can meet someone mature AND my age? Should I go to church to find someone, like my mom says? Look to older men? Or am I doomed 'til I'm over 30? -- RORY IN CAMBRIDGE, MASS.

DEAR RORY: In the 1950s, "success" for girls was defined as marrying early and having children. Since then, however, more women have jobs and careers, and it is not unusual for men and women to get graduate degrees before thinking about marriage. Couple that with the fact that an adolescent mentality seems to have stretched beyond the teens into the mid-to-late 20s, and it's not surprising that many young men do not feel ready to commit.

You may have to expand your horizons a bit in the age department if you want to settle down now. Consider someone in his late 20s. Then go where like-minded people gather: graduate school, special-interest clubs, volunteer organizations, square or line dancing, church or a political-action group.

Remember that it's important to take the time to really get to know someone before you give your heart -- or anything else.

DEAR ABBY: This is an update on Project Lifesaver, a new nonprofit police organization that locates wandering victims of Alzheimer's disease and special-needs kids using electronic tracking. Your columns devoted to dementia prompted me to write, since our service allows seniors to remain at home longer and gives much-needed stress reduction to their caregivers.

To date, Project Lifesaver has located 878 people in an average rescue time of 19 to 20 minutes. There have been no deaths or injuries, and everyone reported missing has been located. According to the National Alzheimer's Association, an average of 32,000 people wander away from homes and nursing homes each year.

Those at risk of wandering wear a 1-ounce wrist transmitter that emits a radio tracking signal 24/7. When caregivers discover their loved one is missing, they call 911, and Project Lifesaver-trained police officers respond to locate the person quickly.

The system works day or night, inside or outside. The price for the service through the police department ranges from free to $35 per month, depending on financial need. Project Lifesaver is currently in about 200 police departments.

Caregivers interested in Project Lifesaver for their community should contact their local police or sheriff's department and ask them to contact me at the Chesapeake, Va., Sheriff's SAR Unit at (757) 546-5502. Thank you. -- CHIEF GENE SAUNDERS, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, PROJECT LIFESAVER

DEAR CHIEF SAUNDERS: Be careful what you wish for. Project Lifesaver sounds like a terrific public service to me. I'm pleased to make my readers aware of it. Get ready for the onslaught!

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 16 years old and have been dating "Nora" for about six months. I love her, but I can't continue dating her because I recently realized I am more attracted to guys. We've been having sex for a little while, and I know Nora will be brokenhearted if I break up with her. But I am living a lie. How do I tell her? -- LIVING A LIE

DEAR LIVING: Before making any announcements, I urge you to think carefully about the implications. If you tell Nora, there is a strong possibility that she will tell others. How do your parents feel about gays? How do your friends at school regard homosexuality?

As much as you may care for Nora, unless you are ready to be completely "out," it might be safer for you to allow the relationship to taper off. If she insists on a reason, tell her you are not ready for a serious commitment. It would be kinder than letting her think she doesn't measure up.

DEAR ABBY: I've done something I'm ashamed of, and I have no way to apologize other than to hope the person I offended may see this.

On Christmas Eve, I was stuck in traffic and a woman with a carload of kids pushed into the intersection so far that I had no choice but to let her pass. She waved and I made a vulgar gesture.

I am over 50, well-educated, have good common sense and should know better. The look of horror and hurt on that woman's face was devastating. My grown daughter was in the car with me! I let her down, and I let myself down.

I apologized to my daughter, but she will never forget that stupid act. I wish there were some way to change what I did. If the woman who was in that car reads this, I hope she knows that I am sorry I ruined her Christmas spirit. It is all I have been able to think about since that night. Please forgive me. -- ASHAMED IN MIDLOTHIAN, VA.

DEAR ASHAMED: I'm printing your letter for all to see. Sad to say, I'm sure many people will think the letter is intended for them.

P.S. Contrition is a first step toward growth. Forgive yourself for your silly burst of temper and promise to behave better in the future.

DEAR ABBY: Last March I had emergency surgery and was in the hospital for almost a month. It took me five months to fully recover. My family was wonderful. They sent gifts, called frequently and visited me. Their support helped to speed my recovery, and I returned to work and school sooner than expected.

The anniversary of my surgery is coming up, and I am planning a celebration to thank everyone for their generosity. I want to make sure no one brings a gift and they know the party is for them. What would be the appropriate wording for the invitation? -- CELEBRATING IN OHIO

DEAR CELEBRATING: When you extend the invitation, make no reference to the fact that it is for anything other than "a dinner party." When your guests have assembled, break out the champagne, make a toast in their honor -- before you all get toasted -- and tell them the party is for them.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Valentine's Day. Pheromones fill the air! Although my column serves as a trouble dump for folks in dysfunctional relationships, not all of the mail I receive comes from unhappy people. Because it's Valentine's Day -- the day we express love for one another -- allow me to share some of my treasures.

From a technical sergeant stationed in South Korea:

DEAR ABBY: I miss my home and family. I realize more and more how important they are.

I owe a special person some overdue recognition. She has sacrificed and coped with much frustration without complaint or a second thought. She has moved thousands of miles from home to strange countries and managed to ensure that our house always felt like home. She has crammed four sometimes cranky people into a tiny hotel room for a month at a time until we could find suitable housing, improvising because our personal belongings were still in shipment. She has been a single parent while I attended schools to further my career, and she sacrificed countless high-paying jobs as we were again uprooted to satisfy the needs of the military.

During my year away, I've realized how important she has been to everything I have accomplished. While I have been furthering my career and serving my country, she has been raising our children, paying our bills, taking care of our home, managing our bank accounts and holding down a full-time job.

This person is my wife, Kim. She has been through it all -- the disappointment, the frustration, the aggravation and the happiness. Whenever I needed her, she was there. She's the best partner a man could ask for, and I am honored that she is mine.

I want to say to my wife, Kimberly Moonbeams: "I love you. You are the one who deserves the praise and the glory. I can't begin to measure how important you are. You are the glue that has held our family together."

Please, Abby, print this. Let all military spouses, especially my wife, know how important they are to the men and women who serve our great country. -- GRATEFUL MILITARY HUSBAND

DEAR GRATEFUL: I'm pleased to do it. Our soldiers may wear the medals, but the loving families who support them are our unsung heroes.

From Clearwater, Fla.:

DEAR ABBY: I'm one of the luckiest teenagers. I have two wonderful parents who go out of their way to make sure I'm happy and safe. I have the best sisters anyone could ask for -- they are my best friends. I have an angel for a grandmother who makes sure I am spoiled with love.

Please print this so my family will know how much I appreciate and love them. I don't know what I'd do without them. They mean more to me than life itself. I know I can be a burden sometimes, but y'all were always there for me. Thank you, Mom, Dad, Granny, Michelle, Jessica, Tricia and Keri Anne. I love you with every part of my heart and soul. You are more than family -- you are also my friends. --ELIZABETH FRAZER

DEAR ELIZABETH: What a love letter. I'm sure they'll get the message.

From Washington state:

DEAR ABBY: I work in Alaska on a fish processing boat. I'm gone six months every year. My husband holds down a demanding job 40 hours a week, runs our house and takes care of our three super kids while I'm away. I'd like to thank him for all he does. I love you, honey. You're the best. -- MRS. WONDERFUL

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)