DEAR ABBY: I am engaged to be married on Valentine's Day. He is a wonderful man; we have been together for three years. It will be the second marriage for both.
I really like this man. He's funny, witty and kind. He loves me and my children, and they love him very much.
My problem is I do not feel that we're soul mates. Is this just a fantasy? What if I'm making another mistake? I don't want to hurt anyone, but I can't help feeling that since I don't feel butterflies after being with him for more than three years, something is missing.
Am I being silly or looking for something that does not exist? -- STILL LONELY IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR STILL LONELY: The thing about "butterflies" is, if you don't catch them and mount them, they tend to fly away. I often suspect that when people talk about butterflies, they are describing a mixture of anxiety and excitement otherwise known as infatuation –- which isn't permanent.
However, if you truly feel lonely when you're with this funny, witty, kind and likable man, after three years of dating, then he isn't the life partner for you. Let him go. It wouldn't be much of a marriage if you felt you were in solitary confinement.