DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old girl, and I know I am not wanted. One night I heard my mom talking to her new boyfriend about wishing she had no kids so she could do things without having to sneak around. I don't know what to do.

Is it my fault that she doesn't want me? Please help me, Abby. You help so many other people -- please start with me. -- UNWANTED IN OTTUMWA, IOWA

DEAR UNWANTED: None of this is your fault, and if your mother knew what you overheard, she would probably want her tongue amputated. I am sure she loves you very much. However, adults sometimes speak in "shorthand" -- and what she MAY have been trying to communicate to her boyfriend was that, overwhelmed with parental responsibilities, she was longing for the relative freedom of her youth.

Clip this column. Show it to your mother and let her explain the specific details to you -- after she apologizes, that is.

DEAR ABBY: I grew up in a small town where I was sheltered from the real world. I am now in college and realize how much I don't know.

I recently encountered a situation I had no idea how to handle. My friend confessed to me that she's gay. Although I was surprised, I wasn't upset because I love her as a friend.

Unfortunately, at the moment she poured her heart out to me, I didn't know what to say. All I could muster was, "Ummm ... OK." Abby, I felt awful!

If something like this happens again, is there proper etiquette to use? I don't want to be insensitive. Coming out is difficult enough without having to figure out what the person you confided in is feeling. Your thoughts, please. -- OPEN-MINDED BUT CLUELESS

DEAR OPEN-MINDED: There is no rule of etiquette for how to react when someone comes out to you. The best advice I can offer is to think with your heart and offer your support. Say, "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. It doesn't change the way I feel about you. You are my friend, and I love you." It's honest. It's clear. It's reassuring. And it's what the person needs to hear.

P.S. It's not too late to say that to your friend.

DEAR ABBY: We live in the tidy beach city of Santa Monica, Calif. Just around the corner from us is a fast-food restaurant. The number of people who stop to eat in front of our house is astounding, but that's not what bothers me.

What upsets me is the number of folks who dump their trash on our lawn when they've finished eating. They are usually construction workers or parents with young children.

Since schools often read your column in class, perhaps the students could write in and give us an explanation of why this kind of littering is acceptable nowadays. -- WANTING AN EXPLANATION

DEAR WANTING: We both know the reason -- it's because they're too lazy to dispose of the trash in an appropriate way. In the tidy beach city of Santa Monica, and in many other cities, there are laws against littering. I suggest you inform the police about your problem. I'm sure they'll welcome the chance to gather some extra revenue for the city.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 12-year-old girl. My grandfather passed away. Then my rabbit died. On top of that, my cat, "Rocky," was diagnosed with cancer. It spread to all parts of his body. After hearing Rocky cry out in pain at 3 a.m., my family and I made the heart-wrenching decision to have him put to sleep. We took him to the vet, where I stroked his fur and spoke softly to him as he peacefully departed.

My parents stayed behind to speak to the vet, but I couldn't stand seeing Rocky lying on the table, so I walked out to the waiting room, still sobbing. The only other person there was an elderly man with a black Lab. With a foreign accent he asked what was wrong, and I tearfully told him my cat had just been put to sleep.

He handed me a tissue and said, "You made the right choice, dear. You were very unselfish. Just think how your pet would have suffered had you not done this for him."

I asked if he had ever put a pet to sleep, and he nodded. "Many times," he said. "Although it is sad, I think of it as one last act of love." I thought about his words because I had never thought of it like that. "Here," the man said, gesturing to his dog, "sometimes animals can comfort best." I knelt beside his dog, still crying, and the friendly Lab made me smile in spite of my sadness.

Then my parents came out and said it was time to go. I never found out the man's name, but I'd like to thank him for that act of kindness. I'll never forget how he helped me when I was hurting. -- MISSING ROCKY IN MOUNT PROSPECT, ILL.

DEAR MISSING ROCKY: Our guardian angels seem to show up just when we need them most. (I'll bet you didn't expect yours to have an accent and a canine companion.) The following may bring more comfort to you. It's worth remembering.

A DOG'S PRAYER

by Beth Norman Harris

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of mine.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.

When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements. And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. Though you had no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my god and I am your devoted worshipper.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life should your life be in danger.

And, beloved master, should the great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest -– and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old nursing major at a Christian college. I live off campus.

Someday I would like to be married, but I am really particular. I've been trying to get to know people and wouldn't consider myself shy, although I do worry I will never meet "Mr. Right."

There have been a few good prospects, but I see them only in passing when I am on campus for classes.

Abby, what's the best way to show interest in a guy without scaring him away? Are there any creative, nonthreatening kosher ways to spark their interest in me, as well?

I'm afraid I will not be able to catch the person of my dreams. -- LOOKING FOR MR. RIGHT

DEAR LOOKING: Just be yourself. And if you're smart, you'll invent excuses to spend more time on campus. Join the staff of the school newspaper, study in the library, work out at the school gym, get a part-time job on campus. It will give you a reason to interact with eligible "fellow" students.

(And by the way, another technique for getting to know someone is to ask if you can study together before an exam.)

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Andy," is a Marine. When he was fighting in Iraq, he sent me e-mails saying how much he missed me and couldn't wait to be with me.

When Andy came home, he was a completely different person!

We got pregnant soon after, and he seemed OK with it at first. Then he was sent back to Iraq. He started fighting with me long-distance and telling me to get an abortion, but he said he still loved me.

About two months ago, he stopped telling me he loves me. He never talks about our baby that's due soon. He has never helped financially.

Andy is now back from Iraq, and he says he loves me but has "a lot to work out." He's so distant now. What should I do? Please help. -- IN LOVE AND HURTING

DEAR HURTING: You both need help. Your boyfriend may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Fortunately, there is help for it through the Veterans Administration. Please urge him to get it now before it affects his future -- and yours and the baby's.

Until Andy is emotionally stronger, you will have to find support from friends and family. I wish you both luck.

DEAR ABBY: I live in a town that is large enough that everyone does not know everyone else, but small enough that jobs are not easy to come by.

My niece is a lovely, moral girl. She works in the photo department of a drugstore, where one of her duties is to monitor the one-hour photo machine. Recently she developed some photos of a young female customer that were frankly pornographic. Is this legal? -- CONCERNED AUNT IN SMALLTOWN, USA

DEAR CONCERNED: A judge once said it may not be easy to define pornography, but he knew it when he saw it. Unfortunately, there's quite a stretch between what's tasteful and what's legal. Because what is pornographic and what is acceptable may have to do with community standards and can vary from place to place, perhaps the person to answer that question would be your chief of police.

P.S. If the customer is underage, the police should be notified anyway.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)