DEAR ABBY: My mother and dad had a full and happy 62 years together. She died last year.
While going through her things, we found several old diaries that Mother kept until a few months after marrying Dad (from ages 15 to 21).
Well, Dad read them and saw that Mom had dated a lot of men before they married, even one of his best friends. She wrote that there was also another man she wanted to marry, but he had a girlfriend in another town, and it was not to be. Apparently Dad had been unaware of it.
Dad was devastated. Now he's telling all his friends how wild Mom was. This, after 62 years of devotion, love and two children.
The purpose of my letter is to warn diarists to please destroy any writings not meant for others to read. Get rid of them! Dad is 85 and brokenhearted. -- SAD IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR SAD: Your point is well taken. However, someone needs to tell your father to stop feeling sorry for himself and to remember the good times.
If he's worried about his deceased wife's past, the truth is, she didn't have much time for one. It's time to end the pity party and dwell on the positive.