DEAR ABBY: I am the wife of a fireman. I have a personal stake in letting your readers know that they can help to protect the lives of wildland firefighters as we experience yet another terrible new fire season. We have already seen those frightening orange flames leaping across our television screens as they are beaten back by firefighters. Brave men and women risk their lives to save communities, while families like ours watch the news and hold our breath.

Twenty-three firefighters lost their lives in wildland fires last year, and more than 6 million acres were reduced to ashes. This year promises to be even more costly.

Millions of Americans live in what is called "wildland/urban interface." These are areas of wild nature into which homes -- and even cities (18,000 communities) -- have been built. Last year, the residents of Denver were shocked to learn that their metropolis is a wildland/urban interface as firestorms swept down from the mountains. When houses are threatened or engulfed, firefighters are at risk. However, homeowners can protect their dwellings and possessions -- and the lives of firefighters -- before the fires race toward them.

Here's what to do: Go to your computer and type in www.firewise.org. Firewise.org is a free service of the U.S. Forest Service, the Red Cross, the National Fire Protection Association and dozens of other government and private entities. This Web site teaches visitors how to "firewise" their homes, imparting precautions homeowners can take to prepare their homes to ride out a wildland fire. You cannot firePROOF a home, but you can fireWISE it, and by doing so, you might save another firefighter's family unending grief. Sign me ... PRECAUTIOUS IN PLACERVILLE, CALIF.

DEAR PRECAUTIOUS: I hope millions of homeowners will take advantage of your helpful suggestion. This nation has opened its heart to firefighters and their families, especially during the last two years. The selfless courage of those dedicated men and women who put their safety on the line as they move into burning buildings or burning wildlands is an inspiration. We owe them, among other considerations, a visit to Firewise.org, which puts preventive measures literally at our fingertips.

And for those readers who are not computer-enabled, you, too, can save a wildland firefighter's family enduring heartache by requesting a free Firewise Homeowner's Guide. Simply write: Firewise, 1 Batterymarch Park, Quincy, MA 02269-9101 and tell them that Dear Abby sent you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a retired airline pilot. My main recreational pastimes are golf and billiards, and I am good at both. However, I become despondent when I play badly, and lately my depression is hard to shake.

I have always had a competitive nature, but realize I'm no fun to be around when I'm down. I need an attitude adjustment so that friends won't shy away from playing with me. Any suggestions, Abby? -- SORE LOSER IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SORE LOSER: There's an old saying: It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game that counts. You are wise to realize that your quest for perfection has become a problem. The solution is counseling to help you get to the root of -- and deal with -- your obsession with always "winning," and your depression when you don't.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I love my husband very much. "Gary" and I have been together for 11 years. However, he seems to be less and less interested in me. We no longer spend time alone together.

Gary works long hours, so it's rare when we share a meal together. Every night before he comes home from his shift, he stops at the local diner and sits with his friends for an hour or so.

When we DO go out, Gary insists we patronize this same diner, so his buddies can sit and join us.

Recently, my husband had surgery. It has temporarily limited his physical activities. He claims to be in too much pain to do anything -- or go anywhere -- with me. But if one of his diner buddies invites him to go somewhere, he's up and out of the house in a heartbeat.

Abby, do I have a legitimate beef? Or should I leave our marriage "as is" and accept it? -- LONELY ON LONG ISLAND

DEAR LONELY: You are being isolated. A successful marriage must be worked on by both parties. If you don't speak up now, you and your husband will continue to drift further apart. So, speak up and tell him that you are concerned about your lack of communication, and offer him the option of marriage counseling.

DEAR ABBY: I am a professional in my mid-20s and have met a great guy over the Internet. I'll call him Randy. Randy is in the military and stationed in Japan. The two of us have been e-mailing and calling each other daily for the past seven months.

Randy will return home next month and we plan to meet for the first time. Neither of us knows what to tell our parents about our Internet romance. I know for a fact that my mom and dad will not approve of my meeting someone in this fashion. But how else can Randy and I explain the "sudden" seriousness of our relationship? -- GENERATION X-ER IN CHICAGO

DEAR GEN-X-ER: I see no reason for either of you to be ashamed about how you met. Many people meet via the Internet these days and form successful unions. Granted, no one should make a decision in haste, but the Internet can be a useful tool in getting to know someone.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is struggling with melanoma. Sadly, I have become extremely familiar with the warning signs, which include moles that are unevenly shaped, a mole that's a different color than the others, or spots that are inflamed or irritated.

Abby, when I see a suspicious spot or mole on a stranger, is it appropriate for me to suggest that he or she be examined by a dermatologist? A young woman sat next to me at a baseball game recently. I wanted to say something to her, but didn't want to offend her or be intrusive.

The truth is, a simple checkup could save a life. What do you think? -- SKIN SLEUTH IN DELAWARE

DEAR SKIN SLEUTH: By all means say something to a stranger if you think it's necessary. When you do, explain WHY you felt it was important to tell him or her. Suggest the person go for a checkup, but do it privately if possible.

I hope your mother is doing well and has a good outcome.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: "Wants a Life in Virginia" implied that her husband's diabetes had led to irresponsible, irrational, and even violent behavior. While I sympathize with the wife and her family's problems with him, blaming diabetes for his behavior is both a mistake and medically inaccurate. It only adds to the discrimination and stigmatization faced by people with diabetes, as well as those at risk for it.

Unfortunately, it is still a common misconception that diabetes can bring about irrational and reckless behavior. I am president-elect of the Diabetes Association, and we hope you will let your readers know that people with diabetes should not be considered any more likely to be irresponsible, hostile or violent because of their disease. Perpetuating this myth does a great disservice to the entire diabetes community and the millions affected by this disease.

Today, diabetes affects at least 17 million Americans -- almost one out of every 10 adults. It is the nation's fifth-deadliest disease, killing more than 210,000 individuals each year. The majority of people with diabetes work hard to manage their disease and lead active, healthy and productive lives. Every day they balance their food intake with activity and the treatments recommended by their health-care providers. Until a cure is found, they must shoulder the constant obligation of managing their disease. It is one that requires diligence, patience and remarkable will. -- EUGENE J. BARRETT, M.D., PhD.

DEAR DR. BARRETT: Thank you for setting the record straight. Today you have not only educated my millions of readers, you have also taught me an important lesson. Although I did not say that the man's behavior was related to his illness, I'm sorry I didn't challenge the writer's incorrect assumption.

DEAR ABBY: I had a similar problem as "Muddling Through in Minnesota, who was graduating from high school and wasn't sure whom to invite because her mother despises her stepmother.

My parents are also divorced, and so are my favorite aunt and uncle. None of them had spoken for more than 12 years. However, at age 33, I was finally graduating from college, and since it was "my" graduation, I decided to invite them all. I made clear to everyone who else I was inviting so they had the option of declining my invitation.

Guess what? Everyone came! And they brought their new "significant others" with them. Afterward, at the party in my home, they were laughing and talking like old times -- catching up with each other's lives.

A few days later, they called and thanked me for ending the "old and worn out" animosities. -- HAPPY GRADUATE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR HAPPY GRADUATE: You are obviously an important part of these relatives' lives. How wonderful that all of them could be present to celebrate your success. Congratulations on all fronts. I have always said, "When in doubt, invite everyone." Whether or not they choose to attend then becomes THEIR problem.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)