DEAR ABBY: Please remind your adult readers to be more respectful of our planet. At 13, I have observed people who are careless with their trash and abuse the Earth with toxic chemicals and in other ways. They forget that even though they won't be around when the Earth starts breaking down, we younger generations may be.

All my life I've heard adults say stuff like, "We love you and will never let anything harm you." But if grown-ups don't clean up their act, something WILL harm us. And it will be because of them. -- WORRIED TEEN IN GEORGIA

DEAR WORRIED TEEN: Because today marks the 33rd anniversary of Earth Day, your letter is especially timely. When Earth Day began, there were no pollution controls on cars, people and entire cities dumped untreated sewage into rivers and landfills, industrial communities were often shrouded with smoke and smog, and some rivers were so polluted with chemicals that they actually caught fire.

We have made advances since 1970, but we cannot afford to become complacent.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Roger," was recently divorced from his wife. His two sons, 10 and 12, are with him every weekend. Roger told me that after the boys stay at his home, things come up missing -- CDs, tapes, loose change, etc.

Roger finally said something to his ex-wife, but she told him to "deal with it."

Soon after that, the kids stayed at my home for a day, and sure enough, after they left, I also discovered items missing. Please tell us how this problem can be handled, Abby. I would like to show the boys' mother your response. -- MICHIGAN GRANDMOTHER

DEAR GRANDMOTHER: When couples separate, they still have a joint responsibility to the children they brought into this world. Topping the list of lessons that responsible parents should teach by example is how to be a good citizen and a person with character.

Big crimes usually start with petty ones. Your grandsons are crying out for attention in a negative way. Ideally, the mother and father should speak to their sons together, but if their mother chooses not to deal with the problem, then their father must do it alone. The boys must be confronted and the items returned. Your son should also consider spending more time with the boys, until they have adjusted to the new situation. If that fails, family counseling is in order.

DEAR ABBY: I overheard my cousin, "Jenny," tell our 16-year-old daughter that it was OK to consume alcohol, and that she was welcome to drop by her house any time if she wanted a drink. (Thank heaven she lives more than a hour and a half away!)

While I trust my daughter not to take Jenny up on her "offer," I think she was out of line. Do teens really need the added pressure of an irresponsible adult telling them it's OK to drink before they reach the legal age limit? How should I handle this if it happens again? -- MIFFED IN MARYLAND

DEAR MIFFED: For Jenny to have made such an offer is a blatant attempt to circumvent your parental authority. Do not stand for it. Remind your cousin that providing alcohol to minors is against the law, and let her know that if it happens you'll inform the police. As a parent, your first responsibility is to your child.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I didn't know I had a problem until the day my wife/lover/best friend walked out on me two weeks before our 13th anniversary.

All our married life I worked a seven-day-a-week factory job on second shift, and in the mornings managed my own retail business.

I thought everything at home was great. Our house and cars were paid for. We even owned a boat. It turns out that all my wife wanted was for me to hold her, love her and "be there" for her. Now she lives 600 miles away.

I learned my lesson the hard way. I closed my business, but it's too late. Abby, please warn your readers about the danger of becoming a workaholic. Material things are not worth the price of losing the one person who shares your life. I hope my story will save someone else's marriage. -- HIT WITH REALITY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HIT: So do I. In order for couples to grow together, they must communicate, spend time with each other and share mutual interests. Good marriages don't just happen. Like anything else worth having, they require work and nurturing.

DEAR ABBY: I am a female college student. I am having a problem with a former classmate from last semester. I'll call her Theresa. We started a friendship, but the conversation was always awkward, and we had few common interests, so it was a chore to spend time with her. Not a good formula for friendship.

Theresa calls my apartment and my cell phone, and she e-mails me on a weekly basis. I screen all of my calls and never respond to her e-mails, but she hasn't taken the hint.

How does one "nicely" end a friendship without burning bridges? Our paths may cross again one day in the corporate world. None of my family or friends have an answer. -- BESIEGED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR BESIEGED: Since you never see her and do not respond to her e-mails, it shouldn't be difficult to tell your former classmate that you are very busy and do not have the time she has to devote to a friendship. Say it kindly, and wish her all the best in the future.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of my husband's behavior? We've been married almost 50 years, and if I didn't speak all day long we would live in a silent world. My husband says nothing, not even "good morning." He will stalk right by me on his way out the door and never say a word.

This is nothing new. It has been like this nearly all of our married life. We are both college-educated, with responsible professions, and were raised in well-educated, professional families. No one else I know gets treated this way.

I have tried talking to him about this, but it does no good. Thanks for any insight you can give me. -- SUFFERING IN SILENCE IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SUFFERING IN SILENCE: Your husband's behavior could be a sign of long-standing depression or it could be passive-aggressive abuse. How you have tolerated it for 50 years is beyond me. Ask him why he married you. His reply may provide you with some insight. Then ask yourself -- is this how you want to spend your remaining years? Your signature says it all. I couldn't live in an atmosphere like that.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My brother, "Rick," recently went to court to get custody of his 1-year-old son. He and the boy's mother, "Ellen," never married. Ellen took the baby out of state while Rick was at work and without his knowledge. Rick convinced her to return, then got a restraining order and filed for custody.

The judge ("Hizzoner") ruled in my brother's favor, giving him primary custody with joint legal custody.

Immediately after the hearing, Hizzoner spoke with Ellen and invited her to come to work for him as a nanny for his children. He offered her room and board, tuition for college and the use of a vehicle. Ellen accepted and moved to the town where Hizzoner lives. The arrangement did not work out. Ellen didn't like his children and was homesick, so Hizzoner paid for Ellen to return home. Yesterday, he was in town and invited Ellen to lunch.

Abby, isn't this a conflict of interest? Isn't this unethical conduct? If Rick has to go back to court, wouldn't Hizzoner have to excuse himself from the case because following the original hearing he has kept in constant contact with the defendant? -- APPALLED IN NEVADA

DEAR APPALLED: The answers to your questions are "yes," "yes" and "yes." And this whole story should be explained to whoever represents your brother at that time. Frankly, your story has raised more than a few eyebrows here in California -- and I'm sure it will in other venues as well.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with my husband, "Lyle," and my ex, "Charlie." They work together. Lyle and I are newlyweds, and he knows only too well the misery I went through with Charlie. In spite of that, Lyle goes to Charlie's apartment for drinks almost every night after work.

I don't like it when Lyle goes out drinking instead of coming home after work. Charlie knows how I feel, yet he continues to invite Lyle over. I suspect Charlie is trying to cause problems -- and it's working -- for the simple reason that Lyle isn't smart enough to say no.

Last night, Lyle went to Charlie's to "throw back a few." When he came home, we had a big fight and he said some very hurtful things to me. Then he stormed off in his truck. We haven't spoken since.

I am at the point where I want to tell Lyle that he needs to choose: me or my ex! What should I do? -- SICK OF IT IN THE NORTHEAST

DEAR SICK OF IT: Although it's tempting, I'd recommend against giving your husband an ultimatum. If you do, it could be the end of your marriage. However, if you think this is history repeating itself, it might be time for you to rethink this recent marriage.

It's interesting that both of your husbands have made it a habit to drink after work. Since it is having a negative impact on your present marriage, perhaps it's time for you to contact Al-Anon so that Lyle's problem does not become your problem.

DEAR ABBY: A reader once asked what your definition of love is. Richard Burton said it quite well: "Love is the highest form of tolerance." -- ANNIE FROM FLORIDA

DEAR ANNIE: He ought to have known. He was not only a talented actor -- he was tolerant more than once in his lifetime.

TO MY CHRISTIAN READERS: Happy Easter, everyone!

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)