DEAR ABBY: My 9-year-old daughter, "Kristy," has a good friend, "Libby." Libby's father started calling my daughter "Weirdo" when the girls were in kindergarten. It upset my daughter, and I asked him to stop. He ignored my request, so I saw to it that Kristy socialized with other girls. Kristy and Libby did not become close friends again until this year when they entered fourth grade.

Libby's father was polite to Kristy for a while, but yesterday when I picked her up, he yelled, "Goodbye, Weirdo!" Kristy says it doesn't bother her now, but I don't believe it. I think she's afraid I will not let her remain friends with Libby.

Abby, I can't understand why a grown man would intentionally demean a child by calling her names. I don't want my daughter subjected to this, but I don't know what to do. Any ideas? -- ANGRY MAMA

DEAR ANGRY MAMA: As a parent, it's your job to protect your child from abuse. Libby's father appears to be insensitive, immature, and a bit weird himself. That's three strikes in my book.

Limit Kristy's exposure to him by arranging for the girls to play at your house until further notice. The less she sees of Libby's father, the better for all concerned. If Libby's mother is in the picture, she should be told what her husband is saying.

DEAR ABBY: My husband knows I'm writing to you. I've never written before, but this is so ridiculous I have to share it. However, because it's a story I can't repeat openly, don't use my name.

One evening last week, my husband sheepishly asked me if the city refuse collectors had picked up the garbage yet. It seems that while cleaning out his top dresser drawer, he had mistakenly thrown away a pill bottle that contained his remaining two Viagra.

He went to the curb and dragged the garbage can back into our yard. We then put on our rubber gloves and went to work. After rummaging through coffee grounds, chicken bones, orange peels and used facial tissue, we found nothing. It turned out he hadn't thrown away the Viagra -- just pushed the bottle to the back of the drawer.

Can you think of a less romantic way to spend the evening? -- THE BLUE PILL "MYSTERY"

DEAR "MYSTERY": Not really. However, even if "Dumpster diving" is not your idea of foreplay -- you now appreciate how far your husband is willing to go for a night of lovemaking with you.

DEAR ABBY: What's the best way of declining when someone asks me out for a date and I know he's "not my type"? Guys never seem to get the hint when I try to let them down easy.

I have said (truthfully), "I'm not dating at this time," or that I'm interested only in someone who belongs to my faith, or who's my age, etc. I've tried every excuse I can think of -- but some guys out there just don't think any of those reasons apply to them.

How do I say, "It's nothing personal, but it's you personally I don't want to go out with"? I would also appreciate any suggestions from your readers. Thanks. -- STUMPED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR STUMPED: I recommend the direct approach if subtlety doesn't work. Say, "I'm sure you're a nice person, but I am not interested in you in that way." Readers, do you have anything to add?

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 26-year-old, stay-at-home mom married to a man in his 60s. We had three children right away.

Because of health problems, my husband is getting to the point where he can't help me with the kids as much as he once could. He comes home from work, eats supper in bed, and then falls asleep.

It's up to me to supervise the kids getting their homework finished before baths and bedtime. I struggle to keep up with all that needs to be done. What I want to know is: Why shouldn't I be able to raise my children without help? There are single moms out there who "do it all." Have you any suggestions for me? -- A MARRIED MOM IN VIRGINIA

DEAR MARRIED MOM: I certainly do. First, ask yourself why you're being so hard on yourself. Three small children are a handful, and I'm sure every single mother reading this has felt overwhelmed at one point or another.

Second, although he is in his 60s, your husband is working and hardly an old man. I don't know what his health problems are, but his doctor should be told about his lack of energy. It could be a symptom of depression, which is treatable. It could also be a symptom of a treatable physical problem.

Third, you could use a respite. Ask around and see if you and another mother in the neighborhood could watch each other's children for a few hours on a regular basis. It's important to your mental and physical health to take time for yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old-boy in the eighth grade. My problem is my parents and their lack of confidence in me.

I'm an above-average artist, and I think I've got a lot of potential. But when my parents question me about what I want to do when I get older and I tell them I want to be an artist for an animation studio, they say, "That's not a realistic goal." Mom says stuff like, "Why don't you pick an occupation that's more practical?" And Dad just keeps quiet.

Abby, I know I'm only 13, but I have aspired to be an animation artist since I was 4. It hurts knowing my parents do not support my dream. What should I do about it? -- HIGH ON TALENT/LOW ON SELF-ESTEEM IN COLORADO

DEAR HIGH/LOW: Go to the library and research the field of animation, which can be quite lucrative. (I'm sure the librarian will be happy to assist you.) There are many jobs in the arts and graphic design, and as you grow older your interests may broaden. For now, continue taking art courses, hold onto your dream and keep your academic standing high. That way you'll get into a good college or art school.

DEAR ABBY: A month ago I learned that my husband, "Danny," cheated on me with a co-worker. I found out because Danny told me himself.

I was terribly upset when my husband broke the news, but after many long talks and lots of tears, we're trying to work through it. The hard part is I made the mistake of telling my family, and now they won't speak to him. They say I'm going about this all wrong, and that I'm stupid for accepting his apology so quickly.

Is my family right, Abby? Am I forgiving my husband too quickly? -- WILLING TO START FRESH IN WINSTON-SALEM, N.C.

DEAR WILLING TO START FRESH: Your family may mean well, but they should not influence your decision to forgive your husband. The wisest course for you and him would be to work this through with professional counseling. Please don't wait.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Two months ago, I discovered a hard lump in my husband's testicle. I urged him to see his doctor, but he put it off for many weeks. He finally went two weeks ago. The doctor diagnosed him with testicular cancer. That same day, my husband underwent surgery to remove his testicle. Two days after that, he underwent CT scans of his chest, abdomen and pelvis. The five days of waiting for the results were excruciating. Thankfully, his cancer had not spread. He must undergo scans every four months for the next two years, but his chances for a full recovery are excellent.

After reading about Lance Armstrong (four-time winner of the Tour de France cycling race), I had encouraged my husband to practice regular testicular self-examinations. He did not. To me, this was as simple as my monthly breast self-exam. Had I not known the signs, my husband's treatment might have come too late. We are inundated with information about breast cancer, but testicular cancer is rarely mentioned.

Abby, please suggest that your male readers practice monthly testicular exams. My husband and I have heard stories of men from 17 to 70 with this cancer. The cure rate is very high and the cancer is fairly easy to detect. -- A LOVING WIFE IN OREGON

DEAR LOVING WIFE: I'm pleased your husband's prognosis is a good one. He is blessed to have such an alert and caring spouse. The American Cancer Society informs me that testicular cancer is highly curable when diagnosed early. Testicular exams are quick and simple and can easily be performed in the shower. For more information, contact the American Cancer Society at (800) 227-2345. Web site: � HYPERLINK "http://www.cancer.org" ��www.cancer.org�.

DEAR ABBY: I take exception to the advice you gave "Mrs. Smith in Marietta, Ga." She asked how her name should appear on her tombstone, given the fact that she remarried after a long and happy marriage. You told her she could use both husbands' last names -- "Jane Smith Jones."

Please don't take away her real identity. She was not born with the name Smith. Her tombstone should read something like this: "Jane Brown/Wife of Robert Smith/Wife of Vernon Jones."

A monument producer explained this to my mother and me many years ago. A tombstone is a historical document of sorts, and a wife's maiden name should always appear. – JEANNE G. BOBROWIECKI, SUNRISE, FLA.

DEAR JEANNE G.: I like your solution. Everybody has equal billing -- even the deceased.

DEAR ABBY: I take exception to the advice you gave "Mrs. Smith in Marietta, Ga." She asked how her name should appear on her tombstone, given the fact that she remarried after a long and happy marriage. You told her she could use both husbands' last names -- "Jane Smith Jones."

Please don't take away her real identity. She was not born with the name Smith. Her tombstone should read something like this: "Jane Brown/Wife of Robert Smith/Wife of Vernon Jones."

A monument producer explained this to my mother and me many years ago. A tombstone is a historical document of sorts, and a wife's maiden name should always appear. – JEANNE G. BOBROWIECKI, SUNRISE, FLA.

DEAR JEANNE G.: I like your solution. Everybody has equal billing -- even the deceased.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)