DEAR ABBY: I am a police officer in a small but very busy community in New England. I would like to impress upon your readers the importance of having their address numbers clearly visible on their homes and businesses. On too many occasions, police, fire and rescue personnel have wasted precious time trying to find the exact location of an emergency because the homes and businesses in the area were poorly marked -- or not marked at all. This could mean the difference between life or death for the persons requiring assistance.

The numbers must be large enough to be seen from the roadway in all types of weather and lighting conditions. Their color must contrast sharply with their background. Put them directly on or immediately by the front door. If the structure is set too far back from the road, place the number at the entrance to the driveway. Make them large enough to be read from a moving vehicle. Individual apartment or condo doors should be clearly numbered or lettered as well. It is a wise investment that could save your life. -- PUBLIC SERVANT IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR PUBLIC SERVANT: You have written an important letter, and I'm pleased to pass along your message. Address numbers should be posted on both sides of one's mailbox, or near a porch light so they're clearly visible at night. Do not allow hanging plants, overgrown shrubs or partially opened doors to obscure them.

Once 9-1-1 is called, if at all possible, station someone at the door or in the yard to guide the police, firefighters or emergency medical personnel in. It's also a good idea to give the 9-1-1 operator a brief description of the house. A 15-minute search for an address during an emergency can be the difference between life and death.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-something new mother, as are most of my friends. On New Year's Eve, my husband and I invited all our friends who have small children over to ring in the new year together. The idea was that the children (all 20 months and younger) could play and fall asleep, while the adults sat back and enjoyed themselves.

The nursery was packed with little ones snug in their makeshift beds, as their moms and dads sang "Auld Lang Syne." A good time was had by all.

The next day, I received a phone call from my cousin, who attended the party. He's a police officer. He told me that two of my guests had reported $50 stolen from their purses sometime during the evening. I was flabbergasted. All of the guests who attended are so close that my husband and I would have trusted them with our children's lives. Now we don't know what to do. I've called each guest. No one else had money stolen, and any one of us would have gladly lent funds to whoever took the cash from those purses.

What do I do now, Abby? I have lost trust in my closest friends. I had scheduled play dates for our children, but have told the other mothers not to bring their purses. -- HEARTSICK IN CLEARWATER, FLA.

DEAR HEARTSICK: By notifying your guests about the unfortunate incident, you have already done the responsible thing. You have prevented it from happening again.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Happy Hindu in the Bible Belt," whose Christian friends tuck religious pamphlets into holiday boxes of baked goodies in an effort to convert her, was off base. You advised her to ignore the brochures and enjoy the goodies -- unless she had lost her appetite -- in which case she should donate the treats to a shelter or take them to the office.

I disagree. That lovely lady should politely tell her friends that she likes her own religion and ask them to please stop with the religious literature. If they continue, she should end the friendship. If converting her is more important than her friendship, there IS no friendship. -- BEEN THERE, TOO, IN BEND, ORE.

DEAR B.T.T.: Your answer is better than mine. Interestingly, "Happy Hindu's" problem appears to be widespread. That letter brought in a bushel of mail. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am Jewish. A friend from college kept sending me "Jesus Loves You" Christmas cards. I told her it hurt my feelings that she didn't respect my beliefs. I made it clear that I am Jewish and will always remain Jewish, as it is my religious and cultural background.

Like "Hindu," I know that some of these gestures are well-intentioned, but I would never dream of sending my friend Hanukkah cards. I send cards that say "Season's Greetings" or "Happy Holidays." It's good to learn about other people's beliefs and be open to them -- but not when they're forced on you. -- JILL IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR JILL: I regret that I did not advise "Happy Hindu" to be as outspoken and upfront as you and "Been There."

DEAR ABBY: Your answer to "Happy Hindu" offended me as a Christian. If the circumstances were different, would you tell me to ignore my Buddhist friends, but enjoy their treats if I didn't gag first? Why is evangelical Christianity the only religion we shouldn't tolerate? -- MARY S., ELLIJAY, GA.

DEAR MARY S.: It's not. Anyone who proselytizes is treading on "sacred ground." It's regarded as offensive, even if it is heartfelt.

DEAR ABBY: Hard as it is to live with some evangelicals, they are easier to take than people who feel justified in resorting to violence against those they feel are "lost." You have to understand that with evangelicals, it is an article of faith, and it's their Christian duty to preach their version of the Gospel, especially if they care about you and are genuinely concerned about your soul. -- DOLLY IN LACEY, WASH.

DEAR DOLLY: I am aware of that. A devout and very sweet lady once told me she was "sad" because she loved me and knew she wouldn't see me in heaven. I asked her why. She said, "Because you haven't been saved!" Once I got over the shock that her heaven was segregated, I assured her that even though I might not be in hers, she would definitely be in mine, so please not to worry any further.

DEAR ABBY: Many people have stopped me on the street or come to my door with religious tracts, so I had cards printed with the following: "I never told my own religion nor scrutinized that of another. I never attempted to make a convert, nor wished to change another's creed. I am satisfied that yours must be an excellent religion to have produced a life of such exemplary virtue and correctness. For it is in our lives, not from our words, that our religion must be judged." (Thomas Jefferson to Mrs. H. Harrison Smith, 1816) -- KAYE IN N.Y.C.

DEAR KAYE: I agree with his timeless and profound conclusion.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a single mother and have taught school for 20 years. Two months ago, I began a sabbatical out of state and took my teenage daughter with me. Prior to leaving, a good friend, "Marjorie," accepted a job transfer that required her to move out of state as well. Marjorie suggested that since her husband wasn't ready to leave town due to some personal business, he would be the perfect candidate to house-sit for me. It seemed like a good arrangement.

Within a few weeks, former neighbors started calling and telling me that Marjorie's husband was having women stay overnight at my house. I have since learned that Marjorie had asked a mutual friend to keep an eye on her husband to find out if he's cheating. Our friend refused, but confided to me that it's as plain as day the guy IS cheating and everyone in town knows it.

We don't want to hurt Marjorie -- nor do we want her husband to humiliate her. Should we tell Marjorie what's going on or let her find out on her own? -- UNSURE IN MESA, ARIZ.

DEAR UNSURE: Tell her what the neighbors told you. Marjorie already has suspicions, so it won't be a shock. And get her husband out of your house. The last thing you need is strangers walking through and possibly helping themselves to your possessions.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old girl in high school. Recently I was required to make a presentation in my science class. Naturally, I wanted to look my best. That morning I selected a denim skirt and black shirt -- neither of which was too short or low-cut. Black nylons and chunky-heeled black shoes completed my ensemble. I headed off to school feeling confident about my appearance.

The minute I arrived on campus, I realized I had made a severe miscalculation. It was as though I had broken some unspoken, but well-known, rule. Kids looked me up and down and stared at my legs. One astonished girl gasped, "Oh, my god! She's wearing black stockings!"

Abby, I am a reasonably conservative person. I have never worn anything outrageous and would never intentionally go to school wearing something risque or improper. I still think the black pantyhose were appropriate for my outfit. Could you shed some light on this? -- DAZED AND CONFUSED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR DAZED AND CONFUSED: Perhaps your classmates were surprised to see you "dressed up." If you had violated a dress code, I'm sure you would have been told about it by a teacher or the principal. From what you have described, your outfit was appropriate for the occasion.

DEAR ABBY: I have a precious 6-year-old niece on the East Coast whose father just died. I have been searching for a sympathy card designed for a child, but have found nothing. "Thinking of you" cards don't seem quite right. How best can I let this little girl know how sorry I am for her loss? -- CONCERNED AUNT IN COLORADO

DEAR CONCERNED AUNT: Buy a pretty blank card and write a short note of sympathy to your niece, in lettering she can easily read. Tell her how much you love her, that you're thinking of her, and how sad you are for her loss.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)