DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "D.B. in Ohio," the 16-year-old unmarried, pregnant high school student. You were correct in telling her that she is entitled to an education. Under federal law, it is illegal for a school to treat a student differently because of pregnancy or related conditions, childbirth or marital status.

Pregnant and parenting students have the right to remain in their regular school and participate in all school activities, such as honors programs, clubs and graduation programs. Moreover, participation in special programs or schools for pregnant and parenting students must be completely voluntary and must provide the student with an education comparable to that which she would have received at her regular school.

As to D.B.'s absences for doctor's appointments, the law requires her school to excuse her absences due to pregnancy or parenting, including medical appointments for her or her child.

It is unfortunate that at a time when they need an education the most, pregnant and parenting students are illegally denied their educational rights.

To educate school officials, students and advocates, the California Women's Law Center has written a "Model Policy on the Civil Rights of Pregnant and Parenting Students," which can be accessed at www.cwlc.org. This document clearly explains the legal rights of pregnant and parenting students.

Thank you for educating the public about these important civil rights. -- NANCY SOLOMON, WOMEN'S LAW CENTER, LOS ANGELES

DEAR NANCY: You're welcome. However, in many cases it's readers like you who educate me.

Readers, Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 is a federal law that protects pregnant students from discrimination. The federal government acknowledged that pregnant teenage girls are often treated differently than the teenage fathers. Of course, that is blatant sex discrimination -- and grounds for you-know-what. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I run a program that includes a support group for teen parents. The only reason D.B.'s school should notify her mother of absences is if they are unexcused truancies. Therefore, she should make sure her absences are excused by either her mother or the doctor's office, and return to school immediately following the appointments that cannot be scheduled after school.

She should also look very carefully before agreeing to attend alternative education programs for pregnant teens. In many of them she could be placed alongside students who have been kicked out of regular schools because of disciplinary or criminal issues. If that's the case in her community, she should insist on a real education and stay in regular school, big belly and all.

Just because she's in a difficult situation doesn't mean she can't get a great education and raise a wonderful child. Working with teen moms has enabled me to develop an even greater respect for my mother-in-law, a former single teen mom who successfully raised my wonderful husband. -- SOMEONE WHO CARES IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SOMEONE: Thank you for your heartfelt advice. I agree that with planning and determination it can be done.

My readers may be interested to know that, according to U.S. government statistics, the teen birth rate is at a record low, the 10th year in a row it has fallen.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I need to know if I'm being unreasonable. A few nights ago -- around 3 or 4 in the morning -- my husband got into bed and woke me to have sex. I had only been asleep for a few hours. He knows I have to get up for work by 7 a.m. It's not the first time this has happened. When I tell him I need my sleep, he gets mad and says I'm rejecting him. Then he gives me the silent treatment.

Abby, I have never been a morning person and have always needed my sleep. This is a recurring problem that affects other parts of our relationship. My husband and I have been married 15 years and have quarreled continuously over his "nocturnal needs." I should add that he is unemployed and can sleep any time he wants.

How do you suggest I get my hubby to be more considerate without hurting his feelings? -- SLEEP-DEPRIVED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR SLEEP-DEPRIVED: You and your husband should hash this out in the cold light of day, preferably with a marriage counselor. Intimacy is an important part of marriage, but it has to be mutual to be enjoyable.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a college student attending school across the country from my family and friends. My parents were in Europe for Christmas this year, so my Aunt Louise invited me to spend the holidays with her and Uncle Harry.

Aunt Louise lived far from us when I was growing up, so I didn't get to see her often and I welcomed the chance to get to know them better. Aunt Louise operates a bed and breakfast, and knows just what touches in the room make her guests feel at home. Abby, on my nightstand was a delightful little booklet of yours -- "Keepers." I read a piece or two from it each night before I turned out the lights.

I would like a copy of your booklet for myself -- and also one for each of my sisters who live out West. How can I get them?

Thank you in advance for the information, and happy new year. -- AMANDA IN BUFFALO, N.Y.

DEAR AMANDA: I'm delighted you enjoyed the "Keepers" booklet. It contains some of my favorite inspirational and humorous pieces. To order the booklets, send a self-addressed envelope, plus a check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) for each copy, to: Dear Abby -- Keepers, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I invited another couple, whom we had not previously entertained, to our home for dinner. When my wife told me what she planned to serve, I told her she would do well to ask our guests if they liked that particular "exotic" dish, or if they had any dietary or religious restrictions or dislikes.

My wife insists that to do so would be impolite and unnecessary. Now there's a quarrel brewing over this. Who's right? -- IRON STOMACH SPOUSE, SUN CITY, CALIF.

DEAR SPOUSE: You are. A thoughtful hostess lets guests know what she's planning to serve in case they have food allergies or medical conditions. Not only is it thoughtful, it's good insurance.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I must respond to "I've Got a Secret in Texas." She's the woman who has been dating a married man for seven years and hopes he will leave his wife for her, despite the fact that he told her he won't because of his children. She asked if she should "sit tight and wait."

She has already wasted seven years of her life. I hope she doesn't waste any more. She needs to get her act together and dump that bum. If she ever is unlucky enough to marry him, he will turn around, meet another woman and tell her the same lies. He's using his kids as an excuse. I bet when they find out what he's up to, they'll be glad to get rid of him, too. My kids certainly were. -- SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE IN INDIANA

DEAR SPEAKING: It is sad that some women are so gullible and needy they believe only what they are told, refusing to recognize that their lover's words do not match his actions. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: That "Texas" woman is wasting her time. My dad cheated on my mother for most of their married life. He and his girlfriend dated for years. She had two children with him while he and Mom were still married.

When Mom died, Dad didn't marry the girlfriend. Instead, he began dating other women. Dad is dead now. The girlfriend never married.

Please urge "I've Got a Secret" to kick lover boy to the curb and get on with her life. -- DAPHNE IN NEW ORLEANS

DEAR DAPHNE: I said it differently. I told her not to hold her breath because he seemed to like things as they are. Several other readers shared similar stories.

DEAR ABBY: Please wake that foolish woman up. She is only hurting herself. She's addicted to the excitement of the secret affair. Hers is a fantasy relationship, not a real one. It is very easy to maintain romance on a part-time basis. When the affair becomes public, the pain and the shame involved are never worth the excitement.

I hope she does the right thing for herself, her child and his children. It's time for her to end the affair and look for a real partner. I speak from experience. -- BETRAYED BUT RECOVERING, DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR RECOVERING: I, too, hope she finds the strength to do the right thing. If my mail is any indication, she's fighting a losing battle. Even if she should beat the odds and "win" -- because of the children, her husband would always be tied to the woman he betrayed.

DEAR ABBY: Our son is being married in June. We are now in the process of preparing the guest list. Two of our close relatives live in nursing homes and do not get out to visit anymore. One is a dear aunt, the other is the groom's uncle.

Should we send them invitations? We would like to, but we're afraid it would appear we're asking for a gift. -- UNDECIDED IN ST. PAUL

DEAR UNDECIDED: Instead of sending them invitations, send a card or chatty letter bringing the relatives up-to-date on what's happening in your family -- and an announcement after the wedding so they remain "in the loop." That way, they can share in your joy without feeling obligated in any way.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)