DEAR ABBY: I hope you can help resolve an ever-widening dispute between my husband and me. We live in a small town with our young children.

Our next-door neighbor is a troubled woman. I call her the Wicked Witch of the West. She's openly hostile, a mad-at-the-world type. Extending an olive branch to her is not possible, as testified to by her many former friends and family members who avoid her.

When the "witch" is out in her yard, she ignores the innocent greetings of our young children, which hurts their feelings. Yet she refers often and loudly to her dogs as her "children" and speaks to them as one would a child. I worry what a person so filled with anger may be capable of. I don't feel safe having my children grow up next to her.

Our neighbor to the east of us is a wonderful person who showers our children with attention and affection. I want to move, but my husband says we have to focus on the positive -- the delightful neighbor whom our children adore. What do you think we should do? -- CONCERNED MOTHER IN NORTHERN MINNESOTA

DEAR CONCERNED MOTHER: I vote with your husband. If you move, there is no guarantee that your new neighbors will relate well to children.

A more realistic way to handle this would be to explain to your children that the neighbor to the west is troubled and unhappy, and that they should leave her alone. It shouldn't be hard to impress on them, because children usually respond to people who show an interest and pleasure at being around them. If possible, plant a nice, thick hedge along the west side of your yard so they don't have to see her or be rebuffed by her.

DEAR ABBY: Recently I began dating a girl from work, and I think she's absolutely wonderful. I'll call her Sheryl. She's a part-time college student. We get along great, and our relationship is slowly progressing.

The one problem I have with her is that she has stopped going to her classes. Sheryl says she "just doesn't feel like it" anymore. She said school started off well, but because of poor attendance she's missed some tests and is failing two of her four classes.

I have encouraged Sheryl to pull herself out of this pit and salvage her grades, rather than accepting failure. However, it shouldn't be my job to constantly remind her to go to class. Sheryl already knows what she needs to do but is very discouraged. She's unhappy with her major, and now she's talking about dropping out and taking some time off.

What should I do, Abby? I can't bear to watch Sheryl fail. -- ANDY IN OHIO

DEAR ANDY: You are a caring friend, and Sheryl is fortunate to have you in her life right now. Please urge her to talk to her school counselor about her ambivalence in continuing college. As a part-time student, she may be carrying too heavy a load and might do better if she cut back. She may also be suffering from depression, and should be evaluated at the student health center before dropping out. However, ultimately the choice is hers, and whether she stays in school is not your responsibility.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a single father raising my 6-year-old son, Jimmy. He's the light of my life.

As a result of my messy divorce, Jimmy is having a lot of problems dealing with his mother. (I'll call her Elaine.) Elaine calls only when it's convenient for her and refuses to give me her address or phone number, making it impossible for Jimmy to contact her. The judge ordered her to take parenting classes and suspended her visitation until she complies.

My stepdaughter has been in touch with Elaine, and I have allowed her to pick up Jimmy and take him to visit his mother, because I want him to know her. Until last year Elaine was addicted to drugs, but claims she's clean now due to her probation.

My dilemma: Elaine owes me $5,000 in child support. I've been paid a total of $214.15. Now the judge has ordered her to pay me a certain amount or she will be sent to jail for six months. Elaine has blamed me in front of Jimmy for her situation. He is hurt by this and blames me for the possibility of "putting Mommy in jail," even though she's the one responsible for her own actions. Jimmy has been in counseling, but it's not helping. I need your advice, Abby. Please help me. -- SINGLE DAD IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SINGLE DAD: Your mistake was allowing your stepdaughter to take Jimmy to see his mother against the judge's orders. In a sense, it has allowed your little boy to be victimized again because of Elaine's brainwashing.

My advice is to keep your son in counseling -- and follow the judge's rules from now on. Be sure the counselor is aware of everything that's happening, as well as your son's teachers. Spend as much time with your son as you can. He needs you now more than ever.

DEAR ABBY: My mother was married once before she married my dad. She has a son, "Morris," from that first marriage.

When Dad and Mom were married, my dad adopted Morris. My parents have been divorced almost 20 years now, and Dad's mother ("Granny O'Hara") does not acknowledge my half-brother as her grandchild, nor his wife or their lovely children.

I will receive a large inheritance from Granny O'Hara, and I feel that Morris should be included in this bequest. Please let me know if you agree, and what you think would be the best way to approach Granny about this. She knows I am close with my half-brother and is kind about asking about him, but I feel he deserves more. This is a touchy subject. -- WANTS TO BE FAIR IN OHIO

DEAR WANTS TO BE FAIR: It appears that your grandmother intends to keep her estate in her biological family -- to be passed on to blood relatives only. If that's the case, I doubt anything you say will sway her.

Since you wish to share your inheritance with your half-brother, I urge you to discuss the matter with an attorney who can explain what the tax liabilities might be if you do so after Granny's death. You may have to spread the payments out over a number of years in order to avoid gift taxes.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl. Each day at lunch, my friend, "Lily," runs to the bathroom right after she eats. I'm pretty sure she's throwing up. Lily's other friends agree with me, because one of them heard puking noises coming from a bathroom stall Lily went into.

I don't know what the word is for making yourself throw up, but I do know it can ruin your health and could even kill you. My sister says that Lily needs to understand her behavior is dangerous to her health, but I'm afraid she'll feel betrayed if I tell. What should I do? -- ANONYMOUS IN SANTA ROSA, CALIF.

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Lily is fortunate to have such a caring friend as you. The name for her problem is bulimia, and you are correct that it is very serious. Once people get into the habit of vomiting their food after eating, it may take professional intervention and therapy to stop.

I urge you to tell a trusted teacher or counselor at school what you have written to me. Lily's parents must be told that she has a serious problem. Her health and possibly her life could depend upon it. You should also tell your mother. I'm sure she'll be proud she has such an intelligent and proactive daughter.

DEAR ABBY: I am 52 and have been a widow for nearly 10 years. I am going with a wonderful guy, "Gus," who had quadruple bypass surgery a year ago. Gus is 53. He takes care of himself by watching his diet and doing aerobics. My mother thinks I should break up with him because of his health problems. I've also had health problems -- a blood clot two years ago and total knee replacement early last year.

Gus and I love each other and feel we can support each other through our health challenges. Should I listen to my mother and lead a lonely life -- or make a lifelong commitment to Gus? -- HAPPY AGAIN IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HAPPY AGAIN: Your mother means well, but listen to your heart. It's not the length of your years, but how well you live them that counts. Since Gus takes care of himself, you could both live long, happy lives together.

DEAR ABBY: I appreciated learning about the VISION USA free eye-care program that was recently mentioned in your column, but I want you and your readers to know that there are also other assistance programs available. Every day I see working people who can't afford insurance for themselves and their families. That is where the Lions clubs come in.

Many Lions clubs provide assistance with free eye care (exams, glasses and surgery) for those in need. There are approximately 1.4 million members in more than 44,600 clubs in 190 countries. Over the years, the Lions have extended their service to help with hearing exams, hearing aids and medical assistance for diabetics. We work with local eye-care professionals to help children and adults.

To get in touch with your local Lions club, check community resources or visit www.lionsclubs.org. We are ordinary citizens trying to help needy people in our local areas. We also support youth programs, community development, eyeglass recycling and much more. Thank you, Abby, for your longtime support of the Lions clubs throughout the world. -- SANDY CARAWAN, GREAT BRIDGE LIONS CLUB, CHESAPEAKE, VA.

DEAR SANDY: You are the people who should be thanked for contributing to your communities in such an important way by helping people who could not otherwise find assistance.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)