DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from "Willing in Wheeling, W.Va," I just about cried. She's the young woman who's in love with "Cyrus," the man who can't work because he has a seizure disorder.

Every state has a department or division of vocational rehabilitation. These state agencies help individuals with disabilities to become gainfully employed. A rehabilitation counselor will assist Cyrus to identify his strengths and abilities and help him determine if working is an option for him at this time. If working is an option, the counselor can assist him in getting appropriate training, job placement assistance and help with accommodations on the job.

Many people with disabilities can work given the proper guidance, training and a supportive employer. -- REHABILITATION COUNSELOR IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR COUNSELOR: My experts tell me that employees with disabilities tend to have attendance records that are as good as people without disabilities. Perhaps they are more determined to prove themselves. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: If that girl really loves Cyrus, what her friends say shouldn't matter. My husband has the same problem. If you love someone, you love him for strengths and weaknesses. I married my husband for his love, not what my friends thought about him. -- CRYSTAL IN ALAMOGORDO, N.M.

DEAR CRYSTAL: You are obviously a mature adult who knows what she wants and what's important. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: It isn't easy being in Cyrus' place. I should know; I live it day in and day out. I have a condition called epilepsy, and if I let it, it would take over my life. I was born with it but was not diagnosed until I was 10. I am fortunate that my seizures are not as frequent, but it does limit my options.

"Willing" sounds like a wonderful person. She's what Cyrus needs to get through a life of frustration. Medications can control seizures, and science is coming up with new innovations every day. Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great were epileptics, and it didn't deter them from finding their places in history.

Please tell "Willing" to follow her heart. It may be hard, but it can also be worthwhile. -- JENNIFER IN CASTLE ROCK, COLO.

DEAR JENNIFER: Thank you for mentioning that epileptic seizures can be controlled with medications (although it was unclear from "Willing's" letter what the cause of Cyrus' seizures was). I spoke with Peter Van Haverbeke of the national office of the Epilepsy Foundation in Landover, Md. Here's what he had to say:

"The future for people with epilepsy is much better than many people think. New medications, surgical options, an implantable electrical stimulation device and even a unique high-fat diet now treat people who couldn't be helped before. If Cyrus isn't under the care of an epilepsy specialist, seeing one now might reduce, or perhaps even eliminate, his seizures.

"Unemployment is the No. 1 non-medical problem for people with epilepsy. Checking out the state's vocational services is a good place to start. Most local epilepsy foundations can also provide information about these and other available employment services. Your readers can get the address for the nearest epilepsy foundation by calling 1-800-332-1000 or online at www.epilepsyfoundation.org."

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am happily married to a man with a strong Catholic upbringing. I was raised without any religious ties, and therefore I was never baptized. This has never bothered me.

Since I do not believe in baptism, I made a conscious decision not to be baptized. This has caused considerable concern for my husband's parents, who are convinced I'll end up in hell.

A few weeks ago as I entered my in-laws' home, they surprised me by sprinkling holy water on me and mumbling a few words. When I described the incident to some friends, they informed me that I have now been baptized -- whether I like it or not. Abby, is this possible? -- WHAT'S GOING ON IN ST. PAUL

DEAR WHAT'S: No, it isn't. According to Father Greg Coiro, a Catholic priest, once a person is past the age of 7 -- he referred to it as "the age of reason" -- the decision to be baptized must be a conscious one. The only exception to that would be a "conditional baptism" for someone who is in a coma.

So, you weren't baptized. You were only moistened.

DEAR ABBY: A few years back, you published a poem that asked the question, "What do you want for Christmas?" The answer was, "Nothing!" I sent it to family members that year, but have since lost it. Please print it again. -- "OLD" FAN IN ILLINOIS

DEAR "OLD": I'm happy to. The verse was written by two "Longtime Readers in Missouri" to help senior citizens tell their families and friends what they want -- and what they don't want -- for Christmas. Read on:

So many of you asked us (since Yuletide's drawing near)

"What do you want for Christmas? What can we give this year?"

If we say, "We want nothing!" you buy something anyway,

So here's a list of what we'd like; believe now what we say:

Pajamas for a little child, food to feed the poor.

Blankets for a shelter, and we ask but little more --

Perform good deeds and let us know,

Or volunteer your time.

These last are worth a fortune,

And they needn't cost a dime.

We have too many things now, vases, candles, tapes and clocks.

We have our fill of garments, ties, underwear and socks.

Candy is too fattening, crossword books we've more than 20.

We don't need trays or plates or cups,

And knickknacks we have plenty.

We've no walls to hang more pictures;

We have books we've not yet read;

So please take what you'd spend on us

And help the poor instead!

Just send a Christmas card to us and tell us what you've done;

We'll open them on Christmas Eve and read them one by one.

It won't cost as much for postage as a package sent would do,

You'll need no wrapping paper, ribbons, ink or glue.

And we'll thank God you listened to what we had to say,

So we'll be the instruments to help someone this way.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Thirty-six years ago, I gave birth and placed my baby girl for adoption. The father was going away to school and had no interest in me or the child. My parents were about to divorce, and my brother was in trouble with the law. I knew there was no way I could keep my daughter, so with a heavy heart I signed away my parental rights and tried to go on with my life. Eventually I married and had a son, who is now 32.

My mother has since moved in with my husband and me. Two weeks ago, a call came to the house while I was at work. Mom answered the phone. The woman calling was looking for her birth mother, and had information that I was, indeed, that woman!

Mother explained all this to me when I got home. As I was becoming more and more excited, she gave me the devastating news that she had told the woman that I had only ONE child -- a son -- and that I was NOT the person she was looking for. The caller continued to ask questions, but Mother denied all of the facts, and finally ended the call by hanging up on her.

I am crushed. For years, I have hoped for a call like that, but had not searched for my child because I did not want to invade her life or the lives of her adoptive parents. My mother was extremely judgmental and non-supportive when I was pregnant that first time, and the day my daughter was born, she pointed at my baby and said, "She is NOT coming home with us. I am NOT raising any more children."

Now I am desperate for my daughter to call again. I must find her! I have filed with the state adoption registry and private bureaus, called an attorney, and searched online. I pray that she will call back, so I can assure her that I love her and have thought about her every day since her birth.

My husband is anxious to welcome her into our lives. We are both heartbroken we may never have the chance. Mother has since come to understand what a grave injustice she performed -- for a second time.

Abby, please help. What more can I do? -- HEARTBROKEN IN EAST KANSAS

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Unfortunately, there is nothing more you can do. I hope your daughter sees this letter, puts two and two together and calls you again.

DEAR ABBY: Every year as the holidays roll around, my husband and I get the same speech from certain elderly relatives: "You HAVE to spend the holidays with us because it might be our last." I am so tired of this guilt trip being laid on us -- and I'm sure a lot of other people are, too.

Just because someone is old doesn't mean he or she is next in line to kick the bucket. When I explain to relatives that my husband and I wish to stay home and make only short visits to them during the holidays, someone always guilt-trips us and we cave in.

What can be done? -- TRAPPED IN BRANDON, FLA.

DEAR TRAPPED: I have a response for the people you feel are manipulating you, but before I offer it, I should remind you that what they are saying will at some point be true. When that happens, can you handle the guilt? If the answer to that is yes, then proceed:

The response to the statement, "You have to spend the holidays with us because it might be our last," is:

"Then it's all the more important that we start NOW to establish our own holiday traditions, because it will lessen our heartbreak when that happens. Please join us at OUR home."

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)