DEAR ABBY: I am a 22-year-old woman who has been engaged to "Bill" for nine months. We plan to be married next spring.
Advertisement
Bill and I were friends for years, but last year we started dating and got serious. We have been very happy until just recently.
My best friend, "Molly," and Bill have been spending a lot of time together. He helped her move, runs errands with her, and has even gone so far as to work overtime, but only at midnight -- when Molly works.
The two of them are always giggling, playfully grabbing and slapping each other's arms -- and when Molly's around, Bill ignores me completely. We haven't made love in more than two months. However, Bill and Molly's conversation is laced with sexual innuendo.
Am I correct to assume that Bill is having an affair with her? I've confronted him, but he says I'm jealous and insecure because my last relationship ended when my ex cheated on me. Is he right, Abby? Or is he a cheating dog?
I love this man with all my heart and want to trust him, but my gut tells me otherwise. -- DOUBTING HIM IN SARNIA, ONTARIO
DEAR DOUBTING: Listen to your gut. Even if there is no affair, you're picking up on "vibes" of sexual attraction and tension. If he's this easily distracted and going out of his way to be with other women before you're married, imagine what it will be like afterward.
Do not marry this man without premarital counseling. It will give you both an opportunity to express what you expect from each other.