DEAR ABBY: I have a huge problem on my hands. Four years ago, my sister was living with my husband and me. I trusted them both, but they betrayed me by having an affair.
After that, my sister moved miles away and met a man she ended up living with and having a baby girl. The guy turned out to be an abuser. Now she wants to leave him and "come home."
Our parents are no longer living, and my sister has no other family to turn to. If she moves in with my husband and me again, I don't know if I'll be able to trust them -- even though I have forgiven them both and love them with all my heart.
My husband has told me repeatedly that he will never hurt me like that again. He also said if the possibility of my sister living with us is going to stress me out, we shouldn't allow her to stay with us. But if that happens, she and her baby are at risk of remaining under the thumb of that abusive man.
Please advise me, Abby. I'm at a real loss here. -- TORN SISTER IN IDAHO
DEAR TORN SISTER: A safe alternative would be for you and your husband to subsidize your sister's rent on a small apartment for a period of time. Yes, it would be expensive -- but not nearly as costly as having her under your roof might be.