DEAR READERS: A reader signed "Desperate in Ohio" reported that a verse her aunt told her many years ago was rattling around in her head, but she couldn't remember the last line. It went, "If 'ifs' and 'ans' were pots and pans ... "

Yesterday, my column was filled with letters from readers eager to provide the missing line, " ... there'd be no work for tinkers." Today we'll see some fascinating variations on the theme. Read on for a sample:

DEAR ABBY: Not only do I remember my mother quoting the same phrase to me, she had another one: "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." Both are from a bygone generation that held no truck with the "If only" and "I wish" mentality. In other words, if you want something to happen in your life, work for it. If something happens you don't like, deal with it, grow from it and move on. Don't just wish, complain and blame.

We could use a little more of that sage wisdom in this day of frivolous lawsuits, cheating in schools and business, etc. -- LEE BAKER DEVORE, HAMILTON, OHIO

DEAR LEE: You're right. And if everyone swept his own doorstep, this world would be a cleaner place. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My Pennsylvania Dutch grandmother used to always say, "If 'ifs' and 'ands' were pots and pans, you wouldn't have to buy any!" She had quite the collection of little sayings, including, "If you put your shoes upon the table, you'll be bad when you are able." (My mother amended that one to: "Tables are for glasses, not for a--ses!")

There were many more for all occasions, and my cousins and I thought she was the smartest woman in the world. I still miss her after 35 years. -- CHRIS GORNIK, LEVELGREEN, PA.

DEAR CHRIS: Amazing how those early lessons stay with us. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My sixth-grade teacher, the late Leona Hickey of Allegany, N.Y., used to recite the old "'Ifs' and 'Ans'" proverb to us in class (circa 1950).

Mrs. Hickey had many little epigrams. Another of her gems: "Whether it's cold or whether it's hot, we're sure to have weather, whether or not!" -- JOYCE HILLER, REDONDO BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR JOYCE: She certainly had a way with words (may she rest in peace).

DEAR ABBY: The phrase, "If 'ifs' and 'ans' were pots and pans, we'd have no need of tinkers," derives from George Bernard Shaw's play "Saint Joan," when Joan of Arc, under ecclesiastic interrogation for heresy, responds in exasperation to questions and accusations from her English persecutors.

I was in a Sydney stage production of "Saint Joan" starring Zoe Caldwell in 1962 (and later played the Earl of Warwick in a London BBC two-part television production of the story), but Zoe's earnest frustration so fervently rendered still resonates in my mind 40 years later. -- ALLAN LANDER (RETIRED ACTOR IN SAVANNAH)

DEAR ALLAN: Retired or not, take a bow!

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This is in reply to "Desperate in Ohio," whose aunt used to recite a saying, but she could not remember the ending. My mother frequently quoted the verse to me when I was a child and wanted something. It went:

"If wishes were horses and beggars could ride,

"If turnips were watches, I'd wear one by my side.

"If 'ifs' and 'ands' were pots and pans,

"There would be no work for tinkers."

-- NEVILLE E. TEAGUE, COLUMBIA, S.C.

DEAR NEVILLE: Thank you for rushing to the rescue -- as did thousands of other gallant readers. That question evoked some fascinating responses. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Perhaps this is an appropriate time to educate those readers who were born after the 1930s. A tinker was a craftsman who navigated city streets and country roads in a horse-drawn cart, offering his services to mend pots and pans -- repairing broken handles, smoothing dents and, especially, repairing small holes.

The latter involved fashioning a moist clay dam around the hole; then as he blocked its interior with a thick pad of leather (or asbestos!), he would pour a small amount of solder into the dam. The solder cooled almost immediately, and the tinker would brush away the now worthless dam.

It was that elementary act that gave our language the expression, "It's not worth a tinker's dam," or more simply, "It's not worth a dam," or even (Clark Gable to the contrary), "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dam!"

And all these years we thought we were swearing. -- GORDON D. ROWE, CHAGRIN FALLS, OHIO

DEAR GORDON: Far be it from me to tinker with your explanation. Thank you for the etymology lesson. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My thanks to you for reviving a long quiescent memory: Greenwich, London, England, 1935-1938. Two children excited by the sounds of the horse-drawn milk wagon coming down the street, the gypsy calls for "rags and bones, rags and bones," black coal tumbling noisily down the chute into the basement, and the tinker in his cart coming to solder damaged kitchenware.

When the tinker came we chanted the old saw, "Were 'ifs' and 'ans' pots and pans, there'd be no need for tinkers," but we always had something for him to mend -- a hot cup of tea for him, and a sugar cube for his pony. "An," we learned, is an archaic synonym for "if," a word we would meet again only in literature. -- PATRICIA L. WILLY, ALAMO, CALIF.

DEAR PATRICIA: What a wonderful description. I can almost picture the scene from your childhood. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: It appears to be an old Irish proverb -- a tinker is an Irish gypsy, and they still roam Ireland today. My mother is from Kildare, and I remember as a child seeing all the "tinker" children riding bareback on ponies by the side of the road. I was jealous of their life, since their parents didn't make them go to school. -- LIL-ANNE SCHUETTE, BOSTON

DEAR LIL-ANNE: Irish? Several other readers thought the saying originated with the Pennsylvania Dutch or Amish. However, I'm sure more than one ethnic group has paraphrased those sentiments at one time or another. (I'll have more on this tomorrow.)

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Childhood obesity is growing at an alarming rate, with almost 13 percent of 6- to 11-year-olds affected. With more gadgets to occupy our time on the couch and entertainment at our fingertips with the push of a button, as well as a cornucopia of fast foods with high fat content readily available, we need a family program of regular exercise and basic nutrition for children.

Youngsters should get at least 35 to 60 minutes of walking or other exercise each day to build the strong bones they'll need later in life. Between the ages of 10 and 18, children build bone mass that must last a lifetime. Weight-bearing exercises such as running, jumping, dancing or hiking help to make bones stronger while they are growing.

Without adequate bone mass, conditions such as osteoporosis, which makes bones fragile and susceptible to breaking, can occur, along with osteoarthritis and other musculoskeletal conditions. Studies show that adequate exercise has a positive effect not only on bone health but many other areas of children's well-being, including brain, social and emotional development.

This summer, one way to model good habits and encourage our kids to get up, get out and get moving is to plan active family recreation. The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons and orthopaedic surgeons nationwide urge parents to make sure children are getting adequate levels of physical activity.

Abby, with your help, we can encourage everyone to actively pursue musculoskeletal health that will last throughout a lifetime. -- VERNON T. TOLO, M.D., PRESIDENT, AMERICAN ACADEMY OF ORTHOPAEDIC SURGEONS

DEAR DR. TOLO: I am pleased the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons has become so vocal on this important subject. When exercise is a family activity, children are more likely to get off the couch (or computer) and become participants. Summer is the ideal time to get started.

Additional information on children's bone health is available on the academy's Web site, www.aaos.org, or call (800) 824-2663.

DEAR ABBY: I just received the devastating news that one of my close childhood friends molested my younger brother several years ago. My brother is still healing from this traumatic experience.

The immediate problem I face is that I'm being married in November and no longer want to invite this "friend." I have cut off all communication with him and haven't told him yet what I know.

How do I approach the subject with him now? Because I learned about the molestation only recently, this guy is under the assumption we're still on good terms. I know he will expect an invitation. -- LOYAL SIS IN BOISE, IDAHO

DEAR LOYAL SIS: Do not send an invitation. If this former "friend" asks why he wasn't included, tell him and don't mince words. Meanwhile, urge your brother to seek counseling and report what happened to the police. It could save another child from the trauma your brother suffered.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)