DEAR ABBY: Childhood obesity is growing at an alarming rate, with almost 13 percent of 6- to 11-year-olds affected. With more gadgets to occupy our time on the couch and entertainment at our fingertips with the push of a button, as well as a cornucopia of fast foods with high fat content readily available, we need a family program of regular exercise and basic nutrition for children.

Youngsters should get at least 35 to 60 minutes of walking or other exercise each day to build the strong bones they'll need later in life. Between the ages of 10 and 18, children build bone mass that must last a lifetime. Weight-bearing exercises such as running, jumping, dancing or hiking help to make bones stronger while they are growing.

Without adequate bone mass, conditions such as osteoporosis, which makes bones fragile and susceptible to breaking, can occur, along with osteoarthritis and other musculoskeletal conditions. Studies show that adequate exercise has a positive effect not only on bone health but many other areas of children's well-being, including brain, social and emotional development.

This summer, one way to model good habits and encourage our kids to get up, get out and get moving is to plan active family recreation. The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons and orthopaedic surgeons nationwide urge parents to make sure children are getting adequate levels of physical activity.

Abby, with your help, we can encourage everyone to actively pursue musculoskeletal health that will last throughout a lifetime. -- VERNON T. TOLO, M.D., PRESIDENT, AMERICAN ACADEMY OF ORTHOPAEDIC SURGEONS

DEAR DR. TOLO: I am pleased the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons has become so vocal on this important subject. When exercise is a family activity, children are more likely to get off the couch (or computer) and become participants. Summer is the ideal time to get started.

Additional information on children's bone health is available on the academy's Web site, www.aaos.org, or call (800) 824-2663.

DEAR ABBY: I just received the devastating news that one of my close childhood friends molested my younger brother several years ago. My brother is still healing from this traumatic experience.

The immediate problem I face is that I'm being married in November and no longer want to invite this "friend." I have cut off all communication with him and haven't told him yet what I know.

How do I approach the subject with him now? Because I learned about the molestation only recently, this guy is under the assumption we're still on good terms. I know he will expect an invitation. -- LOYAL SIS IN BOISE, IDAHO

DEAR LOYAL SIS: Do not send an invitation. If this former "friend" asks why he wasn't included, tell him and don't mince words. Meanwhile, urge your brother to seek counseling and report what happened to the police. It could save another child from the trauma your brother suffered.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman who's been married for five years. I'll be 30 on my next birthday and I'm ready to start a family. During the past several months, the media -- and my own doctor -- have convinced me that if my husband and I want a family, we should start NOW.

My husband insists he's not ready and won't be for another five years. His reason is not financial; it is pure selfishness on his part. We both make good salaries, have very little debt and own a beautiful home. He says he's not ready to give up his time for a family. I have tried, with no success, to persuade him with all the arguments.

I am hurt to the core and very angry with him right now. I don't want to be 35 and "still waiting" for him to come around. Help! -- MOMMY-IN-WAITING IN DALLAS

DEAR MOMMY-IN-WAITING: Since your biological clock is ticking, you and your husband should waste no time in talking this out with a marriage counselor. He may have concerns about his ability to be a good parent or about his commitment to your marriage. Until you understand exactly what his problem is, it cannot be dealt with. Do not allow him to put this off. Your concerns are valid.

DEAR ABBY: I am an 18-year-old girl who's writing because I don't know what's up with the way I feel. I am at the top of my class, play soccer and work in retail after school. One day I'd like to be a great architect. I am a good person, but I don't feel like I'm ready to grow up just yet.

My mom says I HAVE to grow up and that I should start to look for a boyfriend because I am getting older.

Abby, I do not want a boyfriend. I feel uncomfortable around boys. They gross me out, especially when they try to talk to me or make a move on me. I want to puke. Is there something wrong with me?

I think some boys like Freddie Prinz Jr. are cute, but I want nothing more than to have a tiny crush. What do you think? Is it normal to feel that way? How do I tell my mom how I feel? -- CONFUSED IN NEW YORK

DEAR CONFUSED: There is no rush to find a boyfriend. It is possible that you are socially immature or a late bloomer. However, I am concerned because your aversion to boys seems extreme.

If you attend school in the fall, visit the student health center and ask to talk to a counselor. If not, ask your doctor for a referral. He or she can help you get to the root of your feelings. After that, you will know what to tell your mother.

DEAR ABBY: I have recently been reunited with my birth siblings. After a lifetime of wondering if they existed, it was exciting to discover four brothers and sisters. However, it has become overwhelming, because they call me every day and want to get together every weekend.

My siblings mean the world to me, but I had another life before we were reunited. How do I gently back away without causing any damage? Please advise me, Abby. -- A SISTER IN TENNESSEE

DEAR SISTER: Set limits and schedule visits weeks ahead of time to fit your schedule. Just because your siblings call does not mean that you always have to be available. Make sure your newfound relatives understand that you had prior commitments before the reunion occurred.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: When I was young, I was extremely shy. I finally got over it, and here's how: I came to the realization that shy people have one thing in common -- they're all overly sensitive about how others perceive them. "Am I dressed right? Does my hair look OK?" They obsess about themselves.

Then one day someone asked me about a necklace I was wearing -- and that one question distracted me so I didn't think about myself. After that, I made an effort to find something of interest to ask other shy people about, and it would usually open up a conversation.

Conquering my shyness didn't happen overnight, but I was eventually able to go into sales and even make "cold calls." I've come a long way from the shy girl I was as a child.

If my experience helps even one shy person to be less self-conscious, the time it took to write this letter will have been worth it. Thanks, Abby. -- PAT IN TUJUNGA, CALIF.

DEAR PAT: Thank you for sharing your technique for overcoming shyness. Many people share the problem in social situations. In extreme cases, "social phobias" can also be treated with counseling and medication.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's 19-year-old daughter is being married in May of 2003. She has asked us to pay half of the cost of the wedding.

The problem is that she has a 15-month-old baby whom we've never met; she lives with her boyfriend, whom we've also never met; she dislikes me, and for that reason refuses to visit us. (She lives in Nebraska and we live in New Mexico.)

This girl has informed my husband that there will be 150 people at the reception dinner after the wedding, and 400 more coming to the reception later -- out of whom only my husband, myself and my mother-in-law will be invited from our side of the family.

In other words, we're being invited to this wedding as guests, but are expected to foot half the bill. What do you make of this, Abby? -- MIFFED STEPMOTHER OF THE BRIDE

DEAR MIFFED: I don't know enough about the history of your stepdaughter's breach with you and her father to make a judgment. However, the guest list seems decidedly one-sided to me, and you should pay only what you feel you can afford.

DEAR ABBY: "Very Sad Aunt" wrote about her brother's two children and their stepfather's abuse of them. Your advice was good, but did not go far enough.

I am a police officer in Maine, and I am familiar with how much time it takes for social services to investigate reported child abuse. Sometimes social service agencies will not even open a case until four separate referrals have been made.

The aunt needs to talk to her brother about seeking an "order of protection" from the local district court. He can then gain temporary custody while the allegations are thoroughly investigated. Imagine how this aunt and her brother would feel if they sent these children back to that household and one ends up seriously hurt -- or worse.

Abby, please urge them to get a protection order and remove those kids from that environment immediately. It could save their lives. Sign me ... COP FOR THE KIDS

DEAR COP: You have done that for me, and for that I thank you.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)