DEAR ABBY: For the past three months, I've been seeing a guy I met in night class. However, all of a sudden, it seems like our relationship is going backward instead of forward.
He's dealing with a very stressful situation at work, and I'm doing my best to be supportive by not pressuring him. I don't want to seem pushy, so I haven't said anything, but sometimes I feel neglected.
At first, we were e-mailing and talking on the phone daily. We even started calling each other "honey" and "darling." Physically, we're really into each other -- but when we're not in bed, we can't seem to hold a conversation.
Can this relationship be saved? Or is he trying to tell me something? -- LOST AND CONFUSED IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR LOST AND CONFUSED: One of the major problems with jumping into bed with someone without getting to know him first is the problem you're having now. You don't know him well enough to know if he's telling you the truth or trying to back away.
The smartest thing you can do is to be sympathetic about his work problems. Let him talk to you about them. Try to learn more about his interests and concerns outside the bedroom, and talk to him about yours. In other words, give him time and a chance to see that there is more to you than the sexual side.
Whether this relationship has substance or was just a fling remains to be seen. But speaking realistically, few people can sustain indefinitely the level of heat you two were generating. When that cools, there has to be a community of interest for the romance to survive.