DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my ex-husband for five years. (He was my second husband.) We divorced in the mid-1990s. Two years ago, he took a job out of state, but we have continued to see each other. When we're alone together, we have a wonderful time and are very happy.
The problem is between him and my son from my first marriage. They do not get along, never have and probably never will. It was the reason our marriage failed.
My son has just graduated from high school and will be going to a local college in the fall. My ex thinks it is time for me to sell my house and move in with him. If I do that, it will leave my son with no home base.
Abby, I love my son. He has never been in trouble and is an honor student. Even though he is 18, I know he still needs me close by for the next few years. I also love my ex, but he has terminated our relationship because he says I have made him "second fiddle" by not agreeing to sell my house and join him at this time. I offered to keep my home here and travel back and forth as needed until my son is out of college. My ex insists that is ridiculous.
I am brokenhearted. What other solution could I have possibly made? -- SAD IN OHIO
DEAR SAD: None. Your ex gave you an ultimatum -- to choose between him and your flesh and blood. It's the reason your marriage didn't survive.
Now, may I tell you how much I respect you for making the decision you did? Many women would have made the selfish choice and rationalized it by saying that, at 18, the young man was old enough to be on his own.
If your second husband really loved you, he would have won your heart with his maturity and patience and made sure that your love story had a happy ending for all concerned. Remember that -- and your broken heart will heal faster.