DEAR ABBY: As a senior in college, I have learned many things, but I have one important lesson to share with anyone who is just beginning a college career.

In my freshman year, I was bombarded with credit card applications promising great rates and free merchandise for signing up. I couldn't resist accepting, but promised myself I would use credit cards only for emergencies.

Well, here I am about to graduate and I now owe several thousand dollars on my cards. I calculated that if I pay only the minimum each month, it will take me 12 years to pay off what I owe. The sad fact is that I have nothing to show for this debt. Much of it was for meals with friends, going out to clubs and living beyond my means.

Some tips I wish I had been given to me before signing up for those cards:

(1) Live within your means. College can be about having fun, but you can do that without going into debt. Be creative and expand your horizons.

(2) If you cannot pay cash for a meal at a restaurant, do not eat out. Eat at the school cafeteria or make a sandwich.

(3) The new CD or DVD you want will still be around when you can afford it. Listen to the radio or rent a movie instead of buying it on credit.

(4) Rather than going to a club or movie with a group of friends, find inexpensive activities (like playing cards or board games) and spend your evening enjoying them. You'll be amazed at what you can save.

(5) If your college offers a class on managing credit and credit cards -- take it! If you have already resolved never to rely on credit, it will only reinforce that decision.

I hope you deem this letter important enough to print, Abby. Credit card debt is a huge problem for many college students. I should know. -- COLLEGE SENIOR WHO LEARNED THE HARD WAY

DEAR COLLEGE SENIOR: Thank you for your timely warning for freshmen entering college this fall. And now I have one for you: You have learned an expensive lesson. Credit counseling may help you consolidate your debts and ensure that you don't destroy your credit history before you have even established one. Check your phone directory for a list of credit counseling services or visit www.nfcc.org to locate one that's a member of the National Foundation for Consumer Credit (NFCC).

Good luck, grad!

DEAR READERS: Today is Father's Day. I offer good wishes not only to fathers everywhere, but also to those caring individuals who donate their time mentoring youngsters whose fathers are absent or deceased.

Many readers have asked me for a prayer in memory of a father who is no longer living. The following is from my Hebrew Union Prayer Book. It is one that is recited on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. It is also available in my "Keepers" booklet:

IN MEMORY OF A FATHER

"Thy memory, my dear father, fills my soul at this solemn hour. It revives in me thoughts of the love and friendliness which thou didst bestow upon me. The thought of these inspires me to a life of virtue; and when my pilgrimage on earth is ended and I shall arrive at the throne of mercy, may I be worthy of thee in the sight of God and man. May our merciful Father reward thee for the faithfulness and kindness thou has ever shown me; may he grant thee eternal peace. Amen."

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: "Disgusted Aunt in Florida" questioned whether or not her nephew, "Marshall," should be given a family party and graduation gifts, given the fact that he wasn't really graduating from high school. His mother said no; his grandmother was insisting that he should.

As an educator for 27 years, I congratulate Marshall's mother for sticking to her guns. I'm sure his teachers offered him ample opportunity to pass his classes, but Marshall made choices on an hourly basis not to fulfill his responsibilities. Therefore, he should not be rewarded for those deliberately irresponsible choices. The boy obviously thought someone would bail him out -- again.

Let's hope Marshall will learn from this experience. If Grandma coddles him now, she can expect to support him for the rest of her life.

Our nation's educational system needs more support from parents like Marshall's mom. It's time for that young man to accept the consequences of his own inaction. -- THANKFUL FOR MARSHALL'S MOM

DEAR THANKFUL: Many educators will agree with you. Failure is nothing to celebrate, but it can be a potent teacher.

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for publishing the toll-free telephone hotline for poison emergencies. Every parent thinks, "It will never happen to me," but it can. Household poisons and chemicals are everywhere.

One morning I was changing my 1-year-old's diaper when she grabbed the tube of diaper rash ointment. Never imagining she could get it open, I allowed her to play with it. Seconds later, her little face and hands were covered with white goo. Then she stuffed her hands into her mouth!

The warning label said to seek medical assistance. While I wiped the ointment out of my toddler's mouth and off her face and hands, my husband grabbed your column with the number of the poison control hotline. I had posted it by the phone only days before. We called the number and were told that the small amount of ointment our daughter had gotten into her mouth was not harmful -- but what if it HAD been!

Abby, please let parents know that they should read all product labels, but if an accident occurs that poison control is always there, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. After our experience I sent them a generous donation. We have to ensure that this resource continues to be available to the public. -- WISER AND SMARTER MOM IN VIRGINIA

DEAR WISER AND SMARTER: I'm pleased that you escaped with a near miss instead of a tragedy, and that the phone number was helpful.

Readers, in case you missed the column that day, the number for the American Association of Poison Control Centers National toll-free telephone hotline is: 1-800-222-1222.

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Clock-Watcher in Los Angeles," who asked how long to wait for a person who is late for an appointment, prompts me to write with my solution.

My husband is ALWAYS late. He does not like to rush to get anywhere. I am obsessively punctual, so we came to an amicable compromise: For every minute my husband is late, he pays me $1. It's worth it to him, and it makes my waiting a lot less frustrating. The longer I wait, the more money I make! -- LADY IN WAITING IN OAKLAND

DEAR LADY IN WAITING: Your compromise makes sense to me.

P.S. You bring new meaning to the expression "Time is money."

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: The woman who asked if there were any rules of etiquette or guidelines for when an ex-spouse is hospitalized or dies, reminded me of a painful incident.

When my beloved husband died, his ex-wife was not only at the funeral home thanking everyone for coming (as though she were the bereaved widow), but she spoke at length at the Catholic Mass about how she found "acceptance, forgiveness, blah, blah, blah ..."

That woman had been married to my husband for only seven years, and they had been divorced for 13 years when I married him. We had been married for 13 happy years. That I couldn't bury my dear husband without this woman's interference was very upsetting. -- STILL UPSET IN FLORIDA

DEAR STILL UPSET: If it's any comfort, I'm sure other mourners at the funeral found the former wife's behavior as bizarre as you did. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Your reply to the ex-wife concerning whether or not to attend her ex-spouse's funeral left out an important component. You advised her to ask permission from wife No. 2 about attending. What about the wishes of the children?

If Mom's presence was desired at graduations, weddings and baptisms, then my guess is the kids would want her to attend their father's funeral.

It would be insulting to have to "ask permission" for your own mother to attend your father's funeral. Children of divorce are the victims of a relationship gone awry. When a parent dies, they shouldn't be victimized again. Allow the children closure, no matter what wife No. 2 prefers. The funeral will be the last time the children see their parents "together," and there will be enough grief already. -- SUZI GIBBONS, RICHARDSON, TEXAS

DEAR SUZI: You have a point. I don't think the children should have to ask permission. However, the considerate thing to do would be for wife No. 1 to call wife No. 2 and express her condolences -- and for her to ask if her presence at the funeral would be disruptive or painful.

DEAR ABBY: I am a wife and mother of four who works full time. My time with my family is limited. Over the past four months, it has become even more so because of a weekend house guest.

Ever since my best friend, "Loretta," began dating my brother, she has invited herself to spend every weekend at my house. This is due to the fact that she lives a couple of hours from the city in which we all reside.

What makes matters worse is that Loretta baby-sits for other people while they go out of town, and she'll bring the child (or children) with her to our house!

I was raised to believe that you don't just invite yourself to someone else's home, and I consider Loretta's behavior extremely rude. How can I stop this without reducing myself to her level of rudeness? Abby, please help! -- WANTING MY HOUSE BACK IN KENTUCKY

DEAR WANTING: Speak with candor; being honest is not rudeness. Until you stiffen your backbone this situation will continue -- so stop postponing the inevitable and speak up.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)