DEAR ABBY: You have stated that when a child feels unable to talk to his or her parents about a serious problem, the young person should confide in a trusted adult. However, I am confused about something: When a teen-age girl goes to that adult, is the person supposed to keep her secret or intercede with her mother for her?

What if the girl chooses to talk to a friend of her mother's and the mother finds out? It could destroy the friendship between the two women because one of them withheld the truth. On the other hand, if the adult tells the girl's mother, she has betrayed the girl's confidence.

What should a responsible adult do? -- KEEPING SECRETS IN CHICAGO

DEAR KEEPING SECRETS: Either keep the confidence or offer to talk to the mother with the girl present. That way, no one's confidence is betrayed. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was in the same situation as "Sue in Pennsylvania," except I was the unmarried teen-age daughter who told my mother's best friend, "Kassie," I was pregnant. I was afraid to tell my parents. Kassie offered to tell them for me. I was with her when she did it. It wasn't easy -- but it would have been a lot harder without Kassie's emotional support.

My parents were hurt that I couldn't tell them on my own. But they couldn't have been more supportive during my pregnancy. My mother and Kassie were in the delivery room when I had my beautiful baby girl. I will be grateful to my parents and to Kassie for the rest of my life for being there when I needed them most. -- LOVED DAUGHTER IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LOVED DAUGHTER: Love is what enables us to bridge the gap of disappointment when others don't live up to the expectations we have of them.

DEAR ABBY: A while back you printed a letter from a woman who said her boyfriend had not shown up for their planned vacation together. She left messages on his answering machine, but he never returned the calls. You told her she should consider herself lucky to have found out he had a "seven-year itch" before they married.

I am a policeman, and I see it differently. She should have called the police department in the city where her boyfriend resides. The police would have driven by his residence and knocked on his door to make sure he had not had an accident that would keep him from answering his phone.

Police in every city will do "welfare checks" for anyone who is worried about a friend or loved one. It could make the difference between life and death. -- COP IN ALABAMA

DEAR COP IN ALABAMA: You're right. It could. I checked with the Los Angeles Police Department and was informed that this is part of their community service, too. Your solution is better than the one I offered.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Sophie Tucker once said, "Success in show business depends on your ability to make and keep friends," to which I would like to add: "Success in ANY business depends on your ability to make and keep friends."

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: As the summer progresses, many people will try recreational scuba diving for fun. Please warn your readers how dangerous scuba diving can be.

Abby, three years ago, our 21-year-old son, Randall, decided to take a break from his studies and be a foreign missionary. He went on vacation with friends, and while scuba diving had an attack of asthma. Only after his death did we learn about the danger of diving when one has a serious medical condition.

According to a study titled "Medical Examination of Sports Scuba Divers," edited by Dr. Alfred Bove, no one should dive if he or she has chronic conditions such as asthma, diabetes, headaches, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease, valvular heart disease, congenital heart disease, etc.

Also, divers should wear a buoyance compensation device. It costs about $150 and will take a diver to the surface and keep him or her buoyant until help arrives.

Our hope is that others will now be more cautious. If you publish this information, you will save many lives. -- SARAH MOODY, CHARLESTON, S.C.

DEAR SARAH: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your son. Scuba diving is a popular sport that requires training and certification, and I hope your warning will be heeded by amateurs who consider sampling its pleasures.

DEAR ABBY: Something happened that has changed me forever. One night I attended a concert at my church. Because I'm on the refreshment committee, I stayed afterward with a girlfriend to clean up.

Everyone else had left. We had just finished sweeping and gathering trash, when I turned around and found myself face-to-face with a homeless woman. I was so taken aback, I was speechless. She admitted being drunk and said she had nowhere to go for the night.

I am ashamed to admit it, but I had no idea what to tell her. I finally asked if there was someone I could call for her, but she said no. She didn't ask for food or money -- she just stood there. Here was a woman in great need -- standing in my church reaching out for help -- and I had no answer. I felt helpless.

After she walked out, I was overwhelmed with sadness that I had sent her out into the cold to sleep. Only then did I realize I could have called our local women's shelter or the local mission. I don't know that she would have gone, but I could've at least offered to make the call.

I sit here tonight knowing I failed her. It has tormented me ever since, and while I know I cannot change the past, I hope something good will come from this experience.

Abby, I am asking each of your readers to go to their phone books and jot down the numbers of local shelters and rescue missions, then slip the list into their wallets. They may never need to use it, but if the opportunity arises, they could make it possible for one less person to be on the streets. -- HOPING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

DEAR HOPING: Please stop feeling guilty. You were startled by the woman's presence and could not collect your thoughts.

You've given my readers and me a helpful suggestion. By writing this letter you have perhaps helped thousands of other homeless people, and for that I thank you.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: "Reminiscing in Reno" shared a memory of Edward G. Robinson's generosity to servicemen during World War II. I would also like to add a memory I have of that kind human being.

Sixty years ago, when I was 11, my 9-year-old sister and I were flying home to Dallas after visiting our grandparents in California. We were traveling alone.

Our plane got caught up in some turbulence, and I became extremely sick, throwing up all over the place. The next thing I knew, this lovable man had me in his lap, while he held a barf bag and gently wiped my face with a damp towel. He kept assuring me, "Everything is going to be OK."

When we landed in Dallas, the man carried me down the ramp and took my little sister by the hand to our waiting parents. My mother almost fainted when she saw it was Edward G. Robinson. It has become a treasured family story. -- DOTTIE IN HOUSTON

DEAR DOTTIE: It's understandable that you never forgot him. Ironic, isn'it it, that such a caring Samaritan became famous for playing "heavies" on screen. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: "Reminiscing in Reno" wrote about his World War II experience as a guest in the home of Edward G. Robinson. I have another story to tell:

Mrs. Edward G. Robinson was very active with the USO, organizing visits of young women to various military camps around Los Angeles in the early days of the war. My mother was one of those college girls who volunteered to socialize with the uniformed men before they shipped out.

On a given weekend, they took a chartered bus and went to dances or "socials" with the boys -- giving them someone to talk to. The girls were fully chaperoned and had their own lodging for the night, until their return to Los Angeles the following day.

Mrs. Robinson wrote a small book about this group, called "The Desert Battalion," and gave one to each of the volunteers. Mom loaned her only copy to someone else in the battalion and has never found a replacement, much to her dismay. She says it was a great experience and felt she had helped in her own way with the war effort on the home front.

This was one of those unique local activities that happened in response to World War II. I hope the memory of these efforts can somehow be preserved. There are so many inspiring stories about life at home and abroad during World War II that my generation unfortunately may never know. -- DAVE KOHL, WEST LINN, ORE.

DEAR DAVE: You're right, there are. And since you brought up the subject of inspiring stories, "War Letters," the extraordinary collection of historical correspondence from the Civil War to the present (collected by Andrew Carroll, published by Washington Square Press), is now in paperback and available in bookstores. I recommend it.

DEAR ABBY: I am planning to be married. This will be my third trip to the altar. My question: Would it be proper for me to wear white? If not, what would you suggest? -- CHERYL IN CLINTON TOWNSHIP, MICH.

DEAR CHERYL: Although white no longer symbolizes virginity, it does signify a first-time bride. Consider wearing a long or short dress in a pale pastel color, off-white or white with color in the trim and accessories. An afternoon dress (long or short) or a dressy suit would also be appropriate.

Congratulations on your forthcoming marriage. I hope the third time is the charm.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)