DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced woman with two teen-age daughters at home. Recently I became engaged to a wonderful man. My fiance lives in another city and has a better-paying job than I do, so I plan to move after we marry.
The problem is my 14-year-old daughter, "Ryan." She refuses to even discuss the possibility of moving. I understand the transition may be hard for her, but she is a minor and I am the custodial parent.
Ryan has informed me that she has talked to her father about moving in with him so as not to leave her friends and school. Her father is an alcoholic and to this day refuses to get help. The reason we split up was that he was physically abusive to me.
Abby, I cannot in good conscience leave my daughter with him, so my only choice is to wait until Ryan finishes high school to be married. This is putting a huge strain on my relationship with my fiance, but I don't know what else to do.
Any advice, Abby? -- DESPERATE TO KEEP EVERYONE HAPPY
DEAR DESPERATE: You are the adult -- the custodial parent. The time to move is now, before your daughter becomes socially established in high school.
Ryan owes it to you to move with you and her sister and try it for a year. If, after that, she hasn't adjusted -- then it will be time to discuss other living arrangements.