DEAR ABBY: I am a high school senior. With graduation day fast approaching, I have some pressing questions.

First, what are the rules of etiquette regarding sending invitations/announcements? Do I have to invite all the members of my family to my graduation party that is supposed to be for my friends? (I would rather not even see most of these relatives, but my grandmother is insisting that I invite them.)

Second, what is the best way to keep track of gifts, so I can properly thank the gift-givers?

Abby, I have been reading your column since I learned how to read and would greatly appreciate your input. -- POLITE SENIOR DUDE IN AMARILLO, TEXAS

DEAR DUDE: Ask your parents if you can have two separate gatherings -- one for family and the other for your contemporaries. (Try to give family members the benefit of the doubt. As you get older, their finer qualities may emerge.)

Write what each person gives you on the card that accompanies the gift. That way, you can easily keep track of who gave what when it comes time to send thank-you notes, because it's always a nice touch to refer to the gift in your note.

P.S. Best of luck to you, grad!

DEAR ABBY: My sister and I have both become engaged. We are very close and are considering a double wedding. Our fiances think it's a neat idea. I've never been to a double wedding and have no idea how it works. Can you please help us? -- NEWLY ENGAGED IN EL PASO

DEAR NEWLY ENGAGED: Double weddings are extra-special events -- and they can reduce expenses.

I discuss this topic -- and more -- in my booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." It can be ordered by sending a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus a check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

However, since you asked about double weddings, I will offer some tips from the booklet:

Two sisters or close friends may wish to be married in the same ceremony.

They may share the same attendants or each may have her own maid of honor. Each groom will, of course, have his own best man.

If they desire, each bride may serve as maid of honor to the other bride, and each groom may serve as best man to the other groom.

The brides do NOT need to dress alike.

The costumes of the attendants should harmonize, although they need not be identical.

If the brides are not sisters, church and reception invitations must be issued separately.

The reception is usually given jointly, and either one or separate receiving lines may be formed.

DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from a girl asking how to stop biting her fingernails. Although you listed some helpful suggestions, I would like to offer one that helped me to finally stop at age 45.

I sat down and tried to figure out WHY I kept biting my nails. I finally realized it was because I couldn't stand the feeling of a rough nail catching on the fabric of my clothing.

Now I keep emery boards -- from coarse to fine -- beside my favorite chair, in my purse, in my glove compartment and by the bed. If I feel a "snag," I immediately smooth the offending nail. It eliminates the "need" to bite. -- FORMER NERVOUS NAIL-CHEWER, SANDY, ORE.

DEAR FNNC: Thanks for the tip. I was amazed at the number of former nail-chewers who took pen in hand to lend a hand. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Thanks to my high school teacher, Mr. Elich, who included some interesting lessons in personal hygiene in his biology class, I haven't chewed my nails for nearly 30 years. One day he asked us to scrape under our fingernails and look at what we removed under a microscope.

The area under the nails can collect some unhealthy "specimens." Coming face-to-face with them was enough to make me think twice about biting my nails. -- PETER, BAY VIEW H.S. CLASS OF '75

DEAR PETER: You hit the nail on the head. Yech!

DEAR ABBY: I, too, was a confirmed nail-biter. What finally stopped me was a job I landed as a teen-ager. I became an usher at the Roxy Theater. The job required my wearing an immaculate uniform, including white gloves. Soon after I landed the job, I noticed that I had nice nails. The gloves were what did it. I never bit my nails again. -- S.S. IN FLORIDA

DEAR S.S.: Your solution makes sense. Out of sight, out of mind.

DEAR ABBY: I am a former compulsive nail-biter. Finally, at age 24, I went to a manicurist and had acrylic nails applied over my bitten, sore nail stubs. Acrylics are impossible to bite, and I needed to do it only once in order to break the habit. Even now, at 46, I occasionally get that biting urge, and the only way I can curb it is to go back to the manicurist. -- JANE, FORT MILL, S.C.

DEAR JANE: I'm pleased it worked for you, but some people are even driven to chew fake nails. Years ago, I wore porcelain nails, and if the urge became strong enough -- I'd bite them. Thank heavens short nails are now popular. It was an expensive habit.

DEAR ABBY: I suffered shame and guilt because I couldn't stop biting. Finally, when I was in my 30s, I asked my doctor if he could suggest a cure. To my surprise, he talked to me about obsessive-compulsive disorder and prescribed a low dose of a very safe drug used by people with OCD. In three weeks my nail-biting stopped for good. -- FORMER CHEWER, KEENE, N.H.

DEAR FORMER CHEWER: A survey mentioned in the 1977 issue of Dental Management magazine, sent to me by Edwin T. Coleman, D.D.S., of Knoxville, Tenn., stated that one out of 12 adults is a nail-biter. It concluded that of all of the successful cures that people may use, the one common denominator is MOTIVATION. And with that conclusion, I agree.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: On Jan. 13, 1997, I joyfully anticipated the birth of my second child. Twelve hours later, my uterus ruptured during labor. An emergency C-section followed, but my son, Mark, was left with no brain activity. The doctor told me Mark's chances of surviving the night were grim. I felt as though I was falling backward into a tunnel. I knew then that I would do whatever I could to spare other parents this wrenching pain.

Then it hit me -- organ donation. As I plunged into the darkness of death, I was thrown a lifeline. Although my son would not live, at least something positive could come from his tragedy. Donating Mark's organs was the start of a series of small miracles that helped me to cope. Two years later, I met Jacob, a little boy who can now run, jump and smile at his mom because he has my baby's heart.

Today there are nearly 80,000 people in the United States on the waiting list for organs. Seventeen die each day while waiting for a transplant. April 21-27 is National Organ and Tissue Donor Awareness Week. The process is a simple one: Sign an organ donor card and discuss the decision with family members, because in many states family consent is mandatory at the time of donation.

For more information about organ donation or a free donor card, readers may contact the National Kidney Foundation at Box DA, 30 E. 33rd St., New York, NY 10016. The Web address is www.kidney.org. -- ELLEN KULIK, NATIONAL KIDNEY FOUNDATION DONOR FAMILY COUNCIL

DEAR ELLEN: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your child. I have long been a champion of organ donation, and I salute you for making a loving and positive decision at such a devastating time in your life. Although Mark could not live, you made sure that his death had meaning -- as the following essay by Robert Test makes clear.

TO REMEMBER ME by Robert Test

At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.

When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my "deathbed." Call it my "bed of life," and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.

Give my sight to a man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman.

Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.

Give my blood to the teen-ager who has been pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.

Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.

Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body, and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her windows.

Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.

If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses, and all my prejudice against my fellow man.

Give my sins to the devil. Give my soul to God. If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.

(Reprinted with permission from The Living Bank, www.livingbank.org.)

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)