DEAR ABBY: Two weeks ago, my friend "Shannon" came over with her children for a play date. As she backed out of my driveway, she accidentally hit my mailbox. She was very shaken up at the time. I was more concerned that no one was injured because my mailbox is set into a large concrete post and Shannon's car was damaged. She promised she'd "take care of it." I told her to drive home safely; we'd discuss it another time.

My husband, who is not fond of this couple and vice versa, said I should have filed a police report, given the cost of the damage was $350. I told him I didn't think it was necessary because Shannon had promised to take care of it.

Two weeks went by; she never called. Because of my husband's dislike for her, the situation escalated into a daily argument at my house.

When I finally called her, Shannon informed me she wasn't interested in spending money on my mailbox and didn't understand what I needed a $350 mailbox for.

My husband called her husband the following day to ask why he and his wife thought they were not responsible. The husband said, "Your friendship isn't worth $350. A friend would never ask a friend for the money. I'll send you $150 and don't ever call us again."

A short while later, Shannon called me screaming, "How dare your husband call mine at work? I'll send you the $150, and I'm never speaking to you again!" Then she hung up on me.

I'm so hurt. I thought these people were friends. Was I wrong to expect them to pay for the damage? Was my husband out of line to try and discuss this with them? Aren't they responsible?

My husband wants to sue them in small claims court. Her husband even told mine to go ahead and try. I don't want to drag myself through it.

Your thoughts, please. -- HURT IN CORAL SPRINGS, FLA.

DEAR HURT: Regardless of what you thought, the couple were not only not friends, they are also seriously lacking in character. Mature and responsible people live up to their obligations. Since you heard nothing from Shannon for two weeks, your husband was within his rights to follow up by calling hers.

Small claims court is there for just the kind of dispute that you have described. I see no reason to let these people get away with it. The friendship is over anyway. Why should you be out the money, too?

DEAR Abby: This is for "Name Caller in Texas," who didn't know how to address her stepparent during introductions.

When my husband's son began to introduce me to his new college housemates, he became embarrassed and blurted out, "What do I call you anyway?"

I quickly replied, "Why, Wicked Stepmother, of course!" Said with a smile, it works every time! -- SHELAGH M'GONIGLE, OTTAWA, ONTARIO

DEAR SHELAGH: You are blessed with a wicked sense of humor. I'm sure it was appreciated by all.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I want to respond to "Hurt and Mad in Okemos, Mich.," who wants to sue her boyfriend, "Mack," for giving her a sexually transmitted disease (STD).

It sounds like she may have HPV (human papilloma virus), responsible for most abnormal Pap smears. The HPV is often microscopic on the cervix and the penis. With good gynecologic treatment and follow-up, "Hurt and Mad" could expect a favorable long-term response.

Mack may well be truthful when he says that he did not know he had an STD. I tell my patients that until they are willing to wear a wedding ring, they should use a condom. This includes women who are on birth control pills.

Thanks for allowing me to help, Abby. -- FRANK E. OLIVER, M.D., DALLAS

DEAR DR. OLIVER: Thank you for volunteering. Although condoms do not provide 100 percent protection against sexually transmitted diseases, they are far better than nothing at all.

DEAR ABBY: As an OB/GYN advice nurse, I address many concerns about STDs. It is estimated that more than one in 10 adults have the HPV virus. Once this virus is contracted, it never goes away.

The warts that the HPV causes may come and go. It is difficult to determine who transmitted the virus because the incubation period may be more than a year. Also, the first outbreak may be mild and go unnoticed. Often a male gets the warts behind his scrotum where they can go undetected for a long period of time. Thus, this virus may be spread innocently.

The most worrisome fact about HPV is that it is spread by skin-to-skin contact. This means a condom will not necessarily protect one from this sexually transmitted disease. There is no cure, but the warts may be removed when outbreaks occur.

Genital herpes is another virus that is spread by skin-to-skin contact. No condom will help if the lesions are not covered completely by the condom. It is important to know that a cold sore on the mouth is also the herpes virus. During oral sex this virus can spread to the genitals and vice versa.

In the heat of the moment, all rational thought tends to go out the window. Not only teen-agers, but adults as well should be aware of what the consequences may be.

Insisting on a complete physical exam for a new partner before beginning a sexual relationship -- and getting the result in writing -- is really the only safe sex. -- MYRENE GROSCOST-RANTA, R.N., WESTLAKE, OHIO

DEAR MYRENE: That's true. And individuals who are not assertive enough to insist on it should abstain from having sex. To do otherwise is to play "STD roulette."

DEAR ABBY: I have a warning. Digital microwave ovens are dangerous for memory-impaired people.

My elderly mother punched in what she thought was 8 minutes. She actually hit the 8 twice -- 88 minutes, and then dozed off.

The microwave was seared and the food turned to dust. It could have caused a terrible tragedy.

I immediately removed the microwave and bought one with a 30-minute dial timer. They are less expensive and much safer. Digital timers can be confusing. Elderly people are more familiar with dials. Thanks for letting me tell my story. -- ANDREA GOWEN, SEAL BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR ANDREA: I'm glad you did. Your letter may avert a tragedy.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: A senior girl at my school was tragically killed in a car accident over Super Bowl weekend. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt and was thrown from the car. The car rolled on top of her and crushed her. Her boyfriend was with her. I heard that before she died, he took her hand and she told him she loved him. It just blew me away. My cousin was killed a year ago in much the same way.

My family has read your articles for years, but one touched us deeply. It was an essay about a teen who was killed in a car accident, and he was only 17. I am only 17 and so was the girl who died. Please print it again to remind us of the fact that we're only mortal and should cherish every waking day. -- BARRY W. IN KENNEWICK, WASH.

DEAR BARRY: That piece is titled, "Please God, I'm Only 17," and it's the most requested piece in the history of the column. Young people have written to me to confirm that it made them think twice about their driving habits and encouraged them to be careful. You are right; it should run at least once a year, so here it is:

PLEASE GOD, I'M ONLY 17

The day I died was an ordinary school day. How I wish I had taken the bus. But I was too cool for the bus. I remember how I wheedled the car out of Mom. "Special favor," I pleaded. "All the kids drive."

When the 2:50 bell rang, I threw all my books in the locker. I was free until 8:40 tomorrow morning! I ran to the parking lot, excited at the thought of driving a car and being my own boss. Free!

It doesn't matter how the accident happened. I was goofing off -- going too fast -- taking crazy chances. But I was enjoying my freedom and having fun. The last thing I remember was passing an old lady who seemed to be going awfully slow. I heard the deafening crash and felt a terrible jolt. Glass and steel flew everywhere. My whole body seemed to be turning inside out. I heard myself scream.

Suddenly I awakened; it was very quiet. A police officer was standing over me. Then I saw a doctor. My body was mangled. I was saturated with blood. Pieces of jagged glass were sticking out all over. Strange that I couldn't feel anything.

Hey, don't pull that sheet over my head! I can't be dead. I'm only 17. I've got a date tonight. I'm supposed to grow up and have a wonderful life. I haven't lived yet. I can't be dead!

Later I was placed in a drawer. My folks had to identify me. Why did they have to see me like this? Why did I have to look at Mom's eyes when she faced the most terrible ordeal of her life? Dad suddenly looked like an old man. He told the man in charge, "Yes, he is my son."

The funeral was a weird experience. I saw all my relatives and friends walk toward the casket. They passed by, one by one, and looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. Some of my buddies were crying. A few of the girls touched my hand and sobbed as they walked away.

Please -- somebody -- wake me up! Get me out of here! I can't bear to see my mom and dad so broken up. My grandparents are so racked with grief they can hardly walk. My brothers and sisters are like zombies. They move like robots. In a daze, everybody. No one can believe this. And I can't believe it, either.

Please don't bury me! I'm not dead! I have a lot of living to do! I want to laugh and run again. I want to sing and dance. Please don't put me in the ground. I promise if you give me one more chance, God, I'll be the most careful driver in the whole world. All I want is one more chance!

Please, God, I'm only 17!

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)